Worried

[Anonymous]

How embarrassing for you, OP.

[Anonymous]

We are assuming a lot by such little information.

[Anonymous]

I can guarantee that his parents are raising the same questions. Where is she living? Are you paying for it all? WHY?

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it. How does she support her lifestyle? Does she pay rent??

[Anonymous]

What has she been doing for the past 6 years? Did she go to college? Does she live with you?

[Anonymous]

What is her plan when he dumps her 10 years from now?

[Anonymous]

I think there may be some cultural issues at play here. Are you not White OP? Are you wealthy? I ask this because I have known a few women like this who were wealthy and either Persian or Arab ( I know MANY more women of those ethnicities who are very career minded). They married partners of the same ethnicity so I think it was understood/ accepted. But still very risky! I think if she and her fiancée have decided that she will definitely support his career and raise the kids, this arrangement kind of makes sense (still risky!). Honestly it is probably less prone to strife than so many other marriages I know where the woman becomes the default caregiver (and either is forced out of the workforce or super stressed by the balancing act) because the dad won’t step up or step back in his career. But this has obvious risks and is not an arrangement I would want for my child. Being entirely financially dependent on a man is not good. How will she have the strength to leave if the marriage is bad? Then again, if you’re wealthy, that might not be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. How does she support her lifestyle? Does she pay rent??

If LW has been enabling her for years this is one of those "My actions had consequences" situations.

I wish I could say I was surprised but my very good friend married a guy who always had some big plan but never actually held down a job. She’s funded so many of his ideas at this point

[Anonymous]

I would worry about ANY adult who has no plan for supporting themselves.

How can a young woman in 2026 think a man is a plan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous. Everyone - even if they marry a billionaire - should be prepared to support themselves, even if they never have to.

Well, that's not true. If she marries a billionaire, she can continue her hobbies social and charitable activities without having to find a career if she prefers that.

Did you raise her to believe that?

How awful and out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She must be very pretty.

That has nothing to do with the fact that all humans need a way to build a life, put a roof over her head, feed herself.

Relying on looks devalues most of what makes us human.

It is also age dependent and a throwback to when women belonged to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s not working right now, but she does stay busy. She has a lot of hobbies and interests she’s really engaged in, and she’s involved in community volunteering and local events. She’s definitely not just sitting around—she just hasn’t pursued a traditional job path, which is where my concern about long-term independence comes in. -OP

How does she pay for her food, cell phone, car, gas?

[Anonymous]

OP hasn't answered the numerous questions -- how is she supporting herself right now?

I'm guessing OP has been supporting her.

Think on that, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I think there may be some cultural issues at play here. Are you not White OP? Are you wealthy? I ask this because I have known a few women like this who were wealthy and either Persian or Arab ( I know MANY more women of those ethnicities who are very career minded). [/b]They married partners of the same ethnicity so I think it was understood/ accepted. But still very risky! I think if she and her fiancée have decided that she will definitely support his career and raise the kids, this arrangement kind of makes sense (still risky!). Honestly it is probably less prone to strife than so many other marriages I know where the woman becomes the default caregiver (and either is forced out of the workforce or super stressed by the balancing act) because the dad won’t step up or step back in his career. But this has obvious risks and is not an arrangement I would want for my child. Being entirely financially dependent on a man is not good. How will she have the strength to leave if the marriage is bad? Then again, if you’re wealthy, that might not be an issue.

Yes, they are all over Instagram flaunting their wealthy, "Stay at home Daughter" lifestyles. Was the first thing I thought of reading OP.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Mom. Dad. Stop funding your child. She's 24. She should have a job. Pay you rent (you can save that $$ and give it back to her when she moves out so she can afford first and last months rent if she'll need that), pay for her own car and/or cell phone (although I understand about family plans, might be easier to keep her on your plan). She should be paying for her clothes, shoes, toiletries. And her hobbies.