America is just completely broken

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My spouse is from Europe, has lived here for 30 years, and said they no longer recognize the once great US. And I have to agree.

We are looking at our options for the future. Thankfully, kids have dual citizenship.

People who say shit like this should just leave. Seriously, go already. It's showing over and over again that dual citizenship and America are incompatible.

you're just jealous that you don't have an off-ramp option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I don't think it's right to "give my life purpose" by having kids, knowing full well that I can't keep them safe in this country, that I will not be able to afford a quality education, that they will have to fight and struggle to get a job or afford anything, that climate disasters will get worse and displace more people, that water and food scarcity will increase, etc. This isn't about being able to afford freaking Disney. You need to get a grip and open your eyes to reality. Previous generations at least at the hope that the future would be better for their kids. I do not have that hope. And so I will not be having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

*Housing and rental market!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I don't think it's right to "give my life purpose" by having kids, knowing full well that I can't keep them safe in this country, that I will not be able to afford a quality education, that they will have to fight and struggle to get a job or afford anything, that climate disasters will get worse and displace more people, that water and food scarcity will increase, etc. This isn't about being able to afford freaking Disney. You need to get a grip and open your eyes to reality. Previous generations at least at the hope that the future would be better for their kids. I do not have that hope. And so I will not be having kids.

DP to add, the only other reason I pulled myself up was my home was in a rapidly gentrifying area so I accrued a boatload of 300k home equity in a short period of time despite my one percent down payment. Otherwise I'd still be in a rut.

[Anonymous]

Agree. There are a few things that have improved in 25 years. I love backup cameras in cars and love the Apple Watch being able to tell me my mom has fallen and love being able to see where my kids are driving and how fast and love getting milk delivered to my door and at least like being able to get answers to almost any random question like how to clean the drain pump in my dishwasher or how long it takes to make a certain airport connection.

But I agree things are mostly worse. Still better than most of human history (no public flogging, yet, indoor plumbing is great and so are vaccines and antibiotics). But I don’t think we are on a good path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The whole point seems to be to loot the US and the Treasury and leave 99% of Americans with very little.

I feel like everything I was taught about checks and balances on power was a lie.

It wasn't a lie. The problem is, one party, the one that controls the House, Senate and White House, seems to be fine with authoritarianism and is not executing their oaths to honor the US Constitution and faithfully execute on the laws. THAT is what is different now, and why people feel helpless to fight it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I don't think it's right to "give my life purpose" by having kids, knowing full well that I can't keep them safe in this country, that I will not be able to afford a quality education, that they will have to fight and struggle to get a job or afford anything, that climate disasters will get worse and displace more people, that water and food scarcity will increase, etc. This isn't about being able to afford freaking Disney. You need to get a grip and open your eyes to reality. Previous generations at least at the hope that the future would be better for their kids. I do not have that hope. And so I will not be having kids.

You are absolutely right. And I'm sorry we are here and you have to make this choice. I just said to my husband if we were just starting out I would not have kids. I have teens who I absolutely adore but I worry about their future. So much is grim and our rights especially women's rights are in jeopardy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

Here is the difference, and why suggesting people get a grip is misguided. Yes, those things happen as part of the human condition. It has been a mission of the US Government, under the "welfare" of the population, to improve living conditions, safe food and water and air, pharmacusticals etc to address famine and disease and make things better, not worse. But THIS Administration is making things worse. The institutions that protect our citizenry are weakened, corporations are once again allowed to run roughshod over consumer protections including the afore mentioned food, drugs, air and water, the US is initiating unexplained/unjustified wars and our checks and balances that were supposed to make our system unique, have totally vanished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a global decline, not just America. I have travelled around the world, and everything is declining, and even at a more rapid pace outside the US. I think its a combo of things globally such as AI and open immigration policies

The problem is not open immigration. The problem is greed. Greed is driving the inequities. Greed is driving the collapse of infrastructure. Greed is driving our headfirst dive into a climate catastrophe. And that climate catastrophe and greed is driving the wars and destabilization of the global south, and those people have to go somewhere.

Things will only continue to get worse if we continue to allow the greediest most ruthless people run our countries.

Get real greed is driving immigration. You know what these corporations do. They go into these countries. They intentionally ruin their economies abuse their labor, rape their children. Then they come here and tell us, that we have to let these people in. Why, they want their minions to do the same to us. Then to add insult to injury. If you don't want to let them in because you want to protect your way of life, then you're a bad person, you're a racist. That's what the greedy people tell us. We're racists. Oldest trick in the book.

The US was built by immigrants and on the backs of immigrants. Many start businesses and create jobs.

At times it was built with slavery, no one disputes that was bad.

I see.. so the country being built by immigrants is bad? You know that Trump's mother and grandfather were immigrants, as well as his entire wife's family, and Vance's wife's family?

[Anonymous]

Yep, every civilization has it's rise and fall. America has passed over the peak and now we are sliding down. It's very sad and depressing, especially for the children who did not do anything to create this mess. We will never stop human greed and selfishness in this type of modern society since there is no shame, no conseuquence. In fact, the greedy get rewarded.

Just like every civilization has its rise and fall, so do species. We've pushed many species into endagerment and exctinction. We humans are not immune to exctinction either and we will push ourselves into it. The Earth itself will be fine and life will be born anew.

Eventually, even the Earth run its course and disappear when our Sun dies. We are but a mere speck in the universe and the disappearance of humans will make not one iota of difference.

We have the choice to live enjoyable lives or miserable ones and, collectively, we are now
choosing the latter.

Such is the way of things.
but it is still very depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

[Anonymous]

Enshitification of everything

[Anonymous]

I feel like the US is no longer competent. I feel like all the craftsmen and experts are gone. It's so difficult to find truly skilled workers for construction, renovation, plumbing, masonry, electric, you name it. And since our war on the undocumented, the people who were willing to work hard and do the manual labor have dwindled even further. I went to Germany last year. Every road, every highway was pristine. Driving through DC every day is like driving through a developing nation. Potholes and patchwork EVERYWHERE. There is no such thing as a smooth driving surface. Everything looks like garbage. When I was growing up in the 1970s and 1980s there weren't permanent jersey walls everywhere. Now they are put up and stay up forever. Growing up, if there was a dead animal on the highway, the state or city would be out to clean it up within a day or two. Now, I'll drive past the same disintegrating carcass for weeks. It's sad how quickly we've fallen. And these are just minor examples.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Europe has some problems, but quality of life there is heaps ahead of here. Though Trump is doing his best to break them too.