America is just completely broken

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a global decline, not just America. I have travelled around the world, and everything is declining, and even at a more rapid pace outside the US. I think its a combo of things globally such as AI and open immigration policies

The problem is not open immigration. The problem is greed. Greed is driving the inequities. Greed is driving the collapse of infrastructure. Greed is driving our headfirst dive into a climate catastrophe. And that climate catastrophe and greed is driving the wars and destabilization of the global south, and those people have to go somewhere.

Things will only continue to get worse if we continue to allow the greediest most ruthless people run our countries.

Yup. It’s greed. It’s all about money, including our immigration policies. Billionaires will hide in their bunkers while the rest of the world burns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I also had a difficult childhood (single widowed hoarding parent who never graduated highschool) and worked my way up, but also the types of benefits that helped me work my way up are no longer there. I live a great life, but realized several years ago, doing budgeting, that my kids will be more poorly able to get ahead, than I was. Wage suppression, cost of housing/apartments, cost of healthcare, among other things all make things worse for my kids than it was for me in terms of how the proportional way they will have to allocate their budgets. This is the reality, based on data.

But sure, I climbed out of hoarding single parent household, so, ok.

[Anonymous]

If you study the foundations of society in different cultures, you will find that in the US, it is the "new" world. That is, we are a very very very very very very young country. That's number one you need to consider.

Next, consider that the US was founded on independence, capitalism (work hard = profit = happiness: this is a lie that takes out everyone who isn't working hard or working hard not making profit or working hard making a profit and unhappy, basically, it's about something else leading to happiness, not just being for the sake of being) and to an extent, slavery.

When taken all this in context, compare to other culture who do not thrive on: capitalism (since a person's being is more valuable than hard work = profit = happiness, more is offered to all people, not just the rich: healthcare, work/life balance, FMLA, et. al), independence (rather community and social contract more valued - the family and taking into consideration your neighbor's wellbeing not just your own aka gun rights, it takes a village and offer daycare/preK for free, et al) and slavery (immigration has been the keystone of American success but at such a cost, but let's face it, doing the dirty work isn't something most nationals will do willingly).

So you see, it's our foundations that have led us to this dark place. Because historically, EVERY SINGLE civilization goes through changes and goes through transitions and goes through bumps and goes through a lot of hell and revolution. After appx 250 years, our time has come. We are growing and hopefully, we see our issues and we adjust.

Maybe we don't hold in esteem the roots of capitalism, independence above all and realize that power is not just hard but also soft.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I also had a difficult childhood (single widowed hoarding parent who never graduated highschool) and worked my way up, but also the types of benefits that helped me work my way up are no longer there. I live a great life, but realized several years ago, doing budgeting, that my kids will be more poorly able to get ahead, than I was. Wage suppression, cost of housing/apartments, cost of healthcare, among other things all make things worse for my kids than it was for me in terms of how the proportional way they will have to allocate their budgets. This is the reality, based on data.

But sure, I climbed out of hoarding single parent household, so, ok.

DP to add, also the loss of pensions (nobody gets rhem anymore unless you work in government jobs kr maybe a few financial companies).

Furthermore, my spouse was laid off 7 months ago and has yet to find a job. Anyone seen the job reports? Horrible - the US is literally hemorrhaging jobs like a burst aneurysm. My niece graduated with an MBA last summer and has yet to find a job in her field. My other niece just wanted a side job while in college and struggled for six months. Youth unemployment rate is high right now... Yet at age 17, the first retail store I walked into in the 90s hired me on the spot (and it was the same for my friends back then, so easy).

Stop putting down the real life difficulties people sre facing, just because we aren't living in a shack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I mean of course YOU feel fine since you just described your life trajectory and material success but why can’t you bother to see what the rest of us are trying to show you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a global decline, not just America. I have travelled around the world, and everything is declining, and even at a more rapid pace outside the US. I think its a combo of things globally such as AI and open immigration policies

The problem is not open immigration. The problem is greed. Greed is driving the inequities. Greed is driving the collapse of infrastructure. Greed is driving our headfirst dive into a climate catastrophe. And that climate catastrophe and greed is driving the wars and destabilization of the global south, and those people have to go somewhere.

Things will only continue to get worse if we continue to allow the greediest most ruthless people run our countries.

Get real greed is driving immigration. You know what these corporations do. They go into these countries. They intentionally ruin their economies abuse their labor, rape their children. Then they come here and tell us, that we have to let these people in. Why, they want their minions to do the same to us. Then to add insult to injury. If you don't want to let them in because you want to protect your way of life, then you're a bad person, you're a racist. That's what the greedy people tell us. We're racists. Oldest trick in the book.

No, dude. You actually are racist. You are buying the old scapegoat the "other". THAT is the oldest trick in the book. Don't be another sucker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

OMG, we are SO lucky we aren't dying of bubonic plague. Isn't life so much better now???

Read the news, genius. It is hilarious you mention infectious diseases. The US DID have measles eliminated, yet nowadays because everything is crumbling and going to hell we have brought back disease like mumps, whooping cough and measles and are well on our way to brining back hepatitis B. If YOU actually read history, we are now actually worse off than we were 20 years ago. Easily.

US has rapidly declined into dumpsville.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I also had a difficult childhood (single widowed hoarding parent who never graduated highschool) and worked my way up, but also the types of benefits that helped me work my way up are no longer there. I live a great life, but realized several years ago, doing budgeting, that my kids will be more poorly able to get ahead, than I was. Wage suppression, cost of housing/apartments, cost of healthcare, among other things all make things worse for my kids than it was for me in terms of how the proportional way they will have to allocate their budgets. This is the reality, based on data.

But sure, I climbed out of hoarding single parent household, so, ok.

DP to add, also the loss of pensions (nobody gets rhem anymore unless you work in government jobs kr maybe a few financial companies).

Furthermore, my spouse was laid off 7 months ago and has yet to find a job. Anyone seen the job reports? Horrible - the US is literally hemorrhaging jobs like a burst aneurysm. My niece graduated with an MBA last summer and has yet to find a job in her field. My other niece just wanted a side job while in college and struggled for six months. Youth unemployment rate is high right now... Yet at age 17, the first retail store I walked into in the 90s hired me on the spot (and it was the same for my friends back then, so easy).

Stop putting down the real life difficulties people sre facing, just because we aren't living in a shack.

Yes, there are ups and downs.
That’s life.
When times are good, some people get lazy and think things will always be like this, always easy. Conversely, it is also possible to see bad things and think the only trajectory is down forever. Both examples fail to consider the other moving parts and future unknowns.

I have been doing some geneology research and learned that in the early 1800s an entire branch of my ancestors left North Carolina and eventually settled in Iowa. Like three generations of relatives all moved together. That can’t have been easy, so why did they do it? I looked into it and apparently there were some big problems in North Carolina back then and people were leaving in droves. People also left Germany and Ireland in droves in the past. Now many more people are trying to move to those places. What is now will not always be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

OMG, we are SO lucky we aren't dying of bubonic plague. Isn't life so much better now???

Read the news, genius. It is hilarious you mention infectious diseases. The US DID have measles eliminated, yet nowadays because everything is crumbling and going to hell we have brought back disease like mumps, whooping cough and measles and are well on our way to brining back hepatitis B. If YOU actually read history, we are now actually worse off than we were 20 years ago. Easily.

US has rapidly declined into dumpsville.

Ok, so 20 years ago was better, maybe? When else was better? For everyone? For every measure of betterness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I mean of course YOU feel fine since you just described your life trajectory and material success but why can’t you bother to see what the rest of us are trying to show you?

Look, I get it. If you grew up UMC and you see that is now harder, I get it. I just think you would all benefit from putting things in perspective. Some people here are acting like spoiled entitled brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I mean of course YOU feel fine since you just described your life trajectory and material success but why can’t you bother to see what the rest of us are trying to show you?

Do you live in/near DC?
It’s good to get outside sometimes, or talk to people in other places. It is not Armageddon everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

Life is tough, but it is tougher when a corrupt government is willfully making it tougher and less safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

OMG, we are SO lucky we aren't dying of bubonic plague. Isn't life so much better now???

Read the news, genius. It is hilarious you mention infectious diseases. The US DID have measles eliminated, yet nowadays because everything is crumbling and going to hell we have brought back disease like mumps, whooping cough and measles and are well on our way to brining back hepatitis B. If YOU actually read history, we are now actually worse off than we were 20 years ago. Easily.

US has rapidly declined into dumpsville.

Ok, so 20 years ago was better, maybe? When else was better? For everyone? For every measure of betterness?

Life was better before Trump. He was sent to destroy our country and he is succeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I also had a difficult childhood (single widowed hoarding parent who never graduated highschool) and worked my way up, but also the types of benefits that helped me work my way up are no longer there. I live a great life, but realized several years ago, doing budgeting, that my kids will be more poorly able to get ahead, than I was. Wage suppression, cost of housing/apartments, cost of healthcare, among other things all make things worse for my kids than it was for me in terms of how the proportional way they will have to allocate their budgets. This is the reality, based on data.

But sure, I climbed out of hoarding single parent household, so, ok.

DP to add, also the loss of pensions (nobody gets rhem anymore unless you work in government jobs kr maybe a few financial companies).

Furthermore, my spouse was laid off 7 months ago and has yet to find a job. Anyone seen the job reports? Horrible - the US is literally hemorrhaging jobs like a burst aneurysm. My niece graduated with an MBA last summer and has yet to find a job in her field. My other niece just wanted a side job while in college and struggled for six months. Youth unemployment rate is high right now... Yet at age 17, the first retail store I walked into in the 90s hired me on the spot (and it was the same for my friends back then, so easy).

Stop putting down the real life difficulties people sre facing, just because we aren't living in a shack.

Yes, there are ups and downs.
That’s life.
When times are good, some people get lazy and think things will always be like this, always easy. Conversely, it is also possible to see bad things and think the only trajectory is down forever. Both examples fail to consider the other moving parts and future unknowns.

I have been doing some geneology research and learned that in the early 1800s an entire branch of my ancestors left North Carolina and eventually settled in Iowa. Like three generations of relatives all moved together. That can’t have been easy, so why did they do it? I looked into it and apparently there were some big problems in North Carolina back then and people were leaving in droves. People also left Germany and Ireland in droves in the past. Now many more people are trying to move to those places. What is now will not always be.

dp.. so, your answer is to move out of the US? I think many have done that already and millions more would do that if they could, especially young women, whom this country needs to keep up the population.

https://thehill.com/homenews/5606934-young-women-want-to-leave-us-poll/

"40 percent of young women want to leave US permanently"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood.

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP. Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything. My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.

I mean of course YOU feel fine since you just described your life trajectory and material success but why can’t you bother to see what the rest of us are trying to show you?

Look, I get it. If you grew up UMC and you see that is now harder, I get it. I just think you would all benefit from putting things in perspective. Some people here are acting like spoiled entitled brats.

DP.. I grew up lmc to immigrant parents, and did well for myself. I'm not so sure about the next generation.

There are always ups and downs economy wise (I was laid off twice in my lifetime) but the downfall of the US is more than just the economy. It's an existential crisis of our democracy, and the economy is f*up because of the POTUS big ego and stupidity.