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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree OP. It feels like everything is falling apart and there's very little we can do to fix it. It took everyone too long to realize what was happening. I'm struggling not to resent the older generations around me who let it get this bad. I'm grieving the children I will never have because I cannot afford it and because it feels morally wrong to bring a child into this just so I can experience motherhood. [/quote]

I mean this kindly:
Get a grip. Read history. Look at all of the wars, famine, disease. There is nothing new under the sun. If you want to have a kid, have one. It is no worse now than 99% of human history. It is not objectively worse to have kids now than at any other time in history except maybe the 50s but would you really want to be a woman back in the 50s?

And also with the “I can’t afford kids”. Stop being brainwashed into thinking you have to have all of your financials figured out and perfect before you have a kid. Believe me, DCUM would have judged me quite harshly for having a kid when our HHI was 45k back in 2007, with no house, a crappy old car, and not being able to afford daycare. We did it anyway, and had two. Now they are in HS. I figured out my career once the kids were school aged. We were able to buy a house and sending DC1 to college next year. It hasn’t all been perfect - they didn’t do all the fancy activities, didn’t get the fancy Disney vacations or lots of expensive toys, but I would absolutely do it again, even if it meant using welfare and food stamps and living in a tiny apartment. There is really nothing else that gives life purpose as much as having kids.

[/quote]
I'm probably older than you, PP, and I agree with the first PP.   Daycare and college costs have exploded, and wages have not kept up with those costs.

I have one DC about to graduate undergad and one about to go to college.

We have made six figures for a while, but we lived way below our means. And it was still expensive to send the kids to daycare and save for college. We don't drive expensive cars; we don't own name brand anything.  My only expensive jewelry is my engagement ring, and a not that expensive necklace/earring set DH has bought me throughout our 20 years of marriage.

I don't blame women now a days for not wanting kids one bit.[/quote]

It sounds like you have the same tunnel vision then, unable to see different possibilities and ways of doing things. Neither daycare nor college are/were the norm for 99% of human existence. But few people are willing to think outside of the box or go against the grain, which is also how we got here in the first place.

I stand by my point that if you want to be a parent, stop making excuses and don’t worry about doing it the “proper” way with a SFH, daycare, college, and expensive “family” car. Don’t let other people tell you what’s important. It sucks that there isn’t really a road map for this, but it’s doable.[/quote]

Eh, yes and no. As a mom to two kids who lived much of my younger years in a sh*t 90 year old fixer upper with roaches and mice (thanks hoarding neighbor!), with a one percent down payment, in a crime ridden neighborhood where I learned to tell the difference between gunshots and fireworks....

This really ignores the issue of SUBSTANTIAL.wage suppression, explosion of housing costs making living on a single income plus a kid very difficult even in a one bedroom. Oh and at least I did have a college education that afforded me the ability to pull myself to a much higher income! In today's housing market, couldn't have done it again.[/quote]

All of you are missing the point. Unless you are a 1 percenter, life is tough. Always has been. The challenges we face in 2026 are tough, but they are not uniquely awful. Most of humanity throughout history has been poor, has had to make difficult choices, has not had everything ideal. All of you seem to be under this spell where you think that there was this time in recent history where everything was great, and now it’s 100 percent horrible and will never be good again.

It may be that I think the way I do is because for me personally, even with the current events, things are still a thousand times better than when I was growing up, at least materially speaking. I went from a childhood of relative poverty to an adulthood where I worked upwards and have a great standard of living now. I can understand how downwardly mobile people might see the current situation as the worst, but they are objectively wrong.[/quote]

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