Portion size for your DH

Anonymous
That's fine.

What's wrong with you?
Anonymous
That's more than my DH eats but about on par with my tall 11 year old.
Anonymous
That’s a lot more carbs than my DH eats but probably about the same amount of food. He’s taller and eats more protein and vegetables daily.

It’s A LOT less food than my younger, adult son eats. He’s taller and thin.

So this is going to vary. Leave your husband alone and let him eat what he wants.
Anonymous
Stop arguing with him about how much food he should be eating.

I think his diet seems pretty typical. Doesn't mean it is what is optimal for him or for anybody. But you arguing with him is not going to help him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are at odds about what is typical food intake for a man.

Here is a typical daily log, which seems like way too much food.

breakfast:
Two egg omelette on a bagel with tomato and onion

Lunch:
6” deli meat sub, fruit slices, baked crisps

Snack:
Two handfuls of honey roasted peanuts

Dinner
Two chicken thighs, sautéed vegetables, starch like a 1-2 cups of potatoes au gratin or Mac and cheese.


DH here: this quantity of food doesn’t seem crazy, but you aren’t going to lose weight that way. Is he interested in losing weight? If so, the highest leverage modifications to make here would be: 1. Drop the bagel, the two egg omelette is fine and i find that carbs early in the day sets me on a bad path, 2. Replace half of the Mac and cheese at dinner with an extra chicken thigh. My guess is that this is someone who’d drop weight pretty quickly just by going low carb for breakfast and lunch, and would probably do well on intermittent fasting for a while. But, not gonna work unless he’s trying to lose weight. I will push back on some of the push back in this thread, sometimes men in this situation DO need some tough love because it’s easy to be in denial about how much weight you have gained. But you need to slow your roll on the micromanaging, OP, that’s going to backfire. He has to find a method that works for him.
Anonymous
The problem in the US is that what the typical diet is, is not healthy. I love bagels but it shouldn't be a frequent or every day thing. Same with mac and cheese or cheese covered potatoes. Yes it is normal, no it is not good. And because it is normal it is very hard to convince someone to change.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The problem in the US is that what the typical diet is, is not healthy. I love bagels but it shouldn't be a frequent or every day thing. Same with mac and cheese or cheese covered potatoes. Yes it is normal, no it is not good. And because it is normal it is very hard to convince someone to change.



This is the correct answer. So many people in this country who think they're eating clean are actually doing anything but. In this case I would point to lunch - if you eat processed deli meat, you might as well just find your nearest bottle of Drano and drink it. As Principal Clark said in Lean on Me, if you're going to kill yourself, why not do it expeditiously.

Anonymous
First, he’s probably underestimating the quantity of food he’s eating if he’s obese.

Second, overeating is probably so ingrained that he doesn’t even realize it’s happening. My husband is like that. He has never maintained a healthy weight at any point during his adult life, he’s always been gaining weight.

I didn’t understand this until now, because he’s only become obese recently.

He was pretty skinny when he started college after a huge growth spurt. Then he put on a little bit of weight and looked on the thin side of a healthy BMI when I met him. Then every year he gains a little weight.

It wasn’t a big deal until it was.

He’s already gone from 6’1” and 170 pounds in college to 300 in his 40’s. Around 250 we started talking about how being overweight was a problem and he agreed he wanted to change, but he keeps eating the same. And after a lifetime of gaining weight every single year, his perception of “normal” portions are completely off. He says he’s hungry but it looks more autopilot of piling huge portions and polishing it off. He’s on track to gain between 5-10 pounds a year like always.

He’ll be 400 pounds by the time he’s 55 and close to 500 by retirement. If he lives that long. People telling OP that she’s “nagging” for being concerned do not understand how horrible it is to watch someone slowly kill themselves this way.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you policing what a grown man eats?


Because he’s OBESE! BMI 33.

I assume he is underreporting on things like the mac and cheese.


He is underreporting more than that. That amount of food would possibly make a normal WOMAN overweight but probably not obese.
Anonymous
That seems pretty normal to me.
Anonymous
2 CUPS of mac n cheese or potatoes seems like a lot.
Frankly I would divorce a person that ate raw onion at breakfast. Or fire them if they worked for me.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you policing what a grown man eats?


Because he’s OBESE! BMI 33.

I assume he is underreporting on things like the mac and cheese.


He is underreporting more than that. That amount of food would possibly make a normal WOMAN overweight but probably not obese.


Maybe not. My DH is 5'8 and 220. I am 5'4 and 120. He eats a lot less than I do. I have 3 meals and a many snacks because im always hungry. He has two meals and barely thinks about food.

has been on Ozempic for over a year, gets 10000 steps a day, nothing works. He never ate a lot.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you policing what a grown man eats?


Because he’s OBESE! BMI 33.

I assume he is underreporting on things like the mac and cheese.


He is underreporting more than that. That amount of food would possibly make a normal WOMAN overweight but probably not obese.


Maybe not. My DH is 5'8 and 220. I am 5'4 and 120. He eats a lot less than I do. I have 3 meals and a many snacks because im always hungry. He has two meals and barely thinks about food.

has been on Ozempic for over a year, gets 10000 steps a day, nothing works. He never ate a lot.


Spoiler alert: he eats more calories than you, regardless of the relative frequency of meals/snacks.

No human body is immune to the laws of physics.
Anonymous
Fats have a lot of calories. Specifically, the nuts are the worst thing I see on there.
Anonymous
On way more food than this I lost 60 pounds. But it depends on the food. Carbs are way too high. Where is the fruit (fruit slices could be anything, dairy? There is no where near enough protein.

Also he eats more -- this is not what he eats in a day.
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