Should I Continue Babysitting My Boyfriend’s Kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating and do you plan to marry him?

We’ve been dating 7 months, and we haven’t talked about marriage yet, I don’t know.. I’m twice divorced.

Why does that matter in this context?

It sounds like he is taking advantage of you. If I were their mom, I would be livid. Why isn't she taking care of them when he can't/won't? If he travels so much, he needs to give more custody to his ex.

She works a lot too, and he says he doesn’t want to give up his custody time.

If he's frequently not able to watch his kids, maybe he should give up some of his custody time. He's using you for free childcare and to avoid child support. Say no to the next few requests and see how he reacts. That will be telling.

Exactly. He is getting a sweet deal and screwing you and his children in the process.

[Anonymous]

Are you living with this man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating and do you plan to marry him?

We’ve been dating 7 months, and we haven’t talked about marriage yet, I don’t know.. I’m twice divorced.

Why does that matter in this context?

It sounds like he is taking advantage of you. If I were their mom, I would be livid. Why isn't she taking care of them when he can't/won't? If he travels so much, he needs to give more custody to his ex.

She works a lot too, and he says he doesn’t want to give up his custody time.

If he's frequently not able to watch his kids, maybe he should give up some of his custody time. He's using you for free childcare and to avoid child support. Say no to the next few requests and see how he reacts. That will be telling.

This. Tell him no! Seriously what do women see in men like this. He sounds very lazy and his child clearly needs a real actual parent to attend to his behavior problems.

[Anonymous]

OP: We’ve been officially dating for 7 months, but we’ve known each other since college. I’ve been babysitting for about four months now. I have two kids — a 15-year-old daughter, and a 19 year daughter away at college, with my ex-husband. I was also briefly married right out of high school/in freshman year college (young and dumb, so I don’t really count that one..).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’ve been officially dating for 7 months, but we’ve known each other since college. I’ve been babysitting for about four months now. I have two kids — a 15-year-old daughter, and a 19 year daughter away at college, with my ex-husband. I was also briefly married right out of high school/in freshman year college (young and dumb, so I don’t really count that one..).

OK but his kids haven't known you since college. And nothing you said changes the fact that you're free, a convenient way for him to dump his kids and avoid responsibility. Do you all live together?

[Anonymous]

You are doing the wife-work without the rights and benefits a wife would have.

He seems like a mess. Why is he unable to be with his children on his custody time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are doing the wife-work without the rights and benefits a wife would have.

He seems like a mess. Why is he unable to be with his children on his custody time?

You think HE'S the one who comes off as a mess in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating and do you plan to marry him?

We’ve been dating 7 months, and we haven’t talked about marriage yet, I don’t know.. I’m twice divorced.

Red flags all over this situation.

That is way, way too soon for you to be in charge of these young children overnight. I don't personally care about "marriage" but some kind of real commitment with kids that age is really necessary in my opinion. And not 7 months into the relationship in the form of parenting disguised as "babysitting."

I'm curious what their mom thinks. That's an interesting custody situation if his GF is allowed to watch the children overnight...

[Anonymous]

What is he doing when he asks you to babysit?

[Anonymous]

What does he do when you babysit? Regardless, you really need to nip this in the bud now. It's already out of hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think he's taking advantage of you, too or at least advantage of your kindness. What's he doing on the weekends when you are with the kids?

THIS

Also, do you have your own kids, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are doing the wife-work without the rights and benefits a wife would have.

He seems like a mess. Why is he unable to be with his children on his custody time?

You think HE'S the one who comes off as a mess in this situation?

Of course he does. He is the one responsible for his children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating and do you plan to marry him?

We’ve been dating 7 months, and we haven’t talked about marriage yet, I don’t know.. I’m twice divorced.

Why does that matter in this context?

It sounds like he is taking advantage of you. If I were their mom, I would be livid. Why isn't she taking care of them when he can't/won't? If he travels so much, he needs to give more custody to his ex.

She works a lot too, and he says he doesn’t want to give up his custody time.

If he's frequently not able to watch his kids, maybe he should give up some of his custody time. He's using you for free childcare and to avoid child support. Say no to the next few requests and see how he reacts. That will be telling.

THIS IS WHY HE DOESN'T WANT TO GIVE UP HIS CUSTODY TIME

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’ve been officially dating for 7 months, but we’ve known each other since college. I’ve been babysitting for about four months now. I have two kids — a 15-year-old daughter, and a 19 year daughter away at college, with my ex-husband. I was also briefly married right out of high school/in freshman year college (young and dumb, so I don’t really count that one..).

So what is your 15-year old child doing while you are babysitting these other kids? FFS OP, get your act together, for your children if not for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’ve been officially dating for 7 months, but we’ve known each other since college. I’ve been babysitting for about four months now. I have two kids — a 15-year-old daughter, and a 19 year daughter away at college, with my ex-husband. I was also briefly married right out of high school/in freshman year college (young and dumb, so I don’t really count that one..).

OK but his kids haven't known you since college. And nothing you said changes the fact that you're free, a convenient way for him to dump his kids and avoid responsibility. Do you all live together?

No, we don’t live together. He’s very busy with work, including during weekends, which is why he asked me to babysit. The kids mother, doesn’t mind.