Should I Continue Babysitting My Boyfriend’s Kids?
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Anonymous
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I’ve been dating a guy with a 10-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old son. He asked me to babysit overnight once for a work trip, which I agreed to, but now it’s happening often—weekends and sometimes school days.
The kids are really sweet, but the 7-year-old is very challenging at times—he hits, kicks, and throws tantrums, especially when it’s time for bed, or to get ready for school. He also doesn’t listen well, so I often have to repeat myself. The 10 year old behaves well though. They’re both very picky eaters and demand different meals, and they’re pretty addicted to screens. That said, things have improved since I started babysitting them. We’ve been playing board games and cards, reading together, and I try to get them outside, which helps a bit—but it’s still tough. I struggle with saying no, because I don’t want to disappoint him, and I genuinely enjoy babysitting them, even though it can be difficult. I’m unsure whether I should continue babysitting or start being more firm and say no more often. |
Anonymous
| How long have you been dating and do you plan to marry him? |
Anonymous
| Where is their mom? |
Anonymous
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The answer is no.
Have your BF make arrangements for his children. |
Anonymous
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You only do it if there's a ring, OP, and they have effectively become your children.
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Anonymous
Agree. Without more information, it appears he's taking advantage of you. It's up to you to stop it. |
Anonymous
We’ve been dating 7 months, and we haven’t talked about marriage yet, I don’t know.. I’m twice divorced. |
Anonymous
Why does that matter in this context? It sounds like he is taking advantage of you. If I were their mom, I would be livid. Why isn't she taking care of them when he can't/won't? If he travels so much, he needs to give more custody to his ex. |
Anonymous
Red flags all over this situation. That is way, way too soon for you to be in charge of these young children overnight. I don't personally care about "marriage" but some kind of real commitment with kids that age is really necessary in my opinion. And not 7 months into the relationship in the form of parenting disguised as "babysitting." |
Anonymous
| I think it's okay if it's an occasional thing, but you shouldn't be the solution to his regular/on-going childcare needs. It sounds like you are functioning like a step parent without actually being one. If you haven't talked about marriage or that's not in the cards, I don't think fair to you or the kids either. |
Anonymous
She works a lot too, and he says he doesn’t want to give up his custody time. |
Anonymous
He isn't using his custody time. There's no right of first refusal? What's he paying you to do this? |
Anonymous
| Seven months? You never should have even met these children, yet. |
Anonymous
| No way. He is taking advantage of you. |
Anonymous
So you're used to making bad decisions and being exploited. At the same time, I suppose these poor kids have nowhere else to go and no mother figure in their lives. Maybe you are doing some good in the world by being a part-time mother to these children, and thanks to you, they will grow up to be better adults. But yes, your boyfriend is totally abusing your generosity and goodwill. It seems like you're in the same circle of bad men. You should move and break into different social circles. |