Do You Miss the Lust?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss being young until I remember that being young wasn't actually all that great. Nostalgia is a helluva drug.

Sure, the lust was more intense. But all of the uncertainty of life was exhausting. Money was a struggle. Finding a significant other was a grind.

You can have lust and passion in midlife too. Just probably not with your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finding lust with someone else is a lot of work and effort - and you spoil the fantasy the moment you actually interact with the hot looking hunk because you find out that they are thick as a brick.

Get a B.O.B... The person you are lusting after does not exist in real life. It is just a fantasy.

Not always. I speak from experience.

[Anonymous]

I'm 46 and I still have lust for my husband. I also take time to kiss and make out. Not all day, every day, but quiet routinely. Read a book and get yourself worked up a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

Because their faithful guy hasn’t been bothered to spend any effort on making her feel desirable for the past decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

Because their faithful guy hasn’t been bothered to spend any effort on making her feel desirable for the past decade.

This expresses an insane amount of entitlement and a lack of accountability. As soon as she asks the man-whore for a house, car, a fulfilling life, kids, retirement account and to meet all of her needs…he is out. No one lust for reality, you have to create lustful moments with the person you chose to create reality with for a marriage to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got divorced last year then had a fling with a man who awakened this lust in me. It was incredible. But he was a bad boy in every sense of the word and not a suitable long term partner.

I’m now dating someone much more sensible and it’s been more challenging to awaken that lust. Interestingly, it seems to come back more when we get space and both operate as separate people, rather than one unit. More space always seems to help my lust come back.

A friend of mine forever bachelor is f**g a married woman. He is the kind of bad of boy you are describing. Women will give the best sex to a bad boy, but they will endlessly complain about the "regular" boring guy who is faithful.

Because their faithful guy hasn’t been bothered to spend any effort on making her feel desirable for the past decade.

Nah. It's because the qualities in a guy that make him a good life partner are many of the same qualities that inhibit lust. A steady, predictable person is a good partner. Lust is created, in part, by uncertainty and unpredictability. You want what you can't have or think you might not get and then when, for a moment, you get it; well, then, sparks fly! It's the release of that tension. When you can have him any old time, there are no butterflies involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss kissing.

Yes. The kissing was one of the most notable things about Heated Rivalry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 46 and I still have lust for my husband. I also take time to kiss and make out. Not all day, every day, but quiet routinely. Read a book and get yourself worked up a bit.

We're the same way, both 48. We're usually too busy during the week but when Saturday rolls around we have a lot of pent-up energy.

[Anonymous]

I missed lust in a chemical level until I was like 35 and now I feel like I’ve matured out of those hormones (I’m 36). Now I miss the idea of lust and youth and yearning.

Watching the summer I turned pretty brought it all back though!

[Anonymous]

I miss lubricity lust. Last time I really felt it was when I was 51-1/2 and yes, for my spouse. Hormones going, going... That was a last gasp. I never imagined that.

[Anonymous]

who doesnt!

[Anonymous]

I hear what you are saying. In my 40s and my sex drive is so high right now, it must be the hormones.

I am married but there is man that I find very attractive whom I run into often and I know he is very attracted to me as well. I can tell by the way he interacts with me. It is so hard to not think about him often and remember what it was like to be with someone who was new. I have been faithful but it is hard not to fantasize about being young and single again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know-maybe I’ve been watching too much Bridgerton and Heated Rivalry, but I miss those days of lust and yearning. Just pure hot lust and wanting someone so badly. I’m in my mid-40s been married 20 years and we have a great life, but damn it what I would give for some hot, yearning sex and no it’s not going to happen with someone I’ve been married to for that long. Unfortunately those days are over and while we have good sex, it’s not like hot like when we were younger. Sigh I’ll get over it but I wish I hadn’t taken my younger days for granted.

Cheating often starts with these thoughts. I feel sorry for your husband.