Girls Trip planning - how to handle?

[Anonymous]

These are your friends. If you're close enough to travel together you're close enough to tell them "I'd love to see San Francisco but I don't want to fly across the country to sit at the hotel bar. Are you guys up for a more active getaway this time, where we do X, Y, and Z?" See what they say.

[Anonymous]

CA is a pain with the long flights (unless you're going direct) and the time change, so I hear your frustration. I'm not sure how long the trip is, but I wouldn't want to fly all the way out there for a long weekend, you'll spend half your time traveling!

I do girls trips a few times a year and I know now that some of the activities I won't love but I just make the best of it. One of my friends (the most opinionated of the group) likes to go to antique stores. That's not my thing, but I've found a way to either just chat while we're doing it or look for odd items in the store. All that to say, I think the point of the trip is to spend time together, so I'm happy doing it at someone's house but I'm also fine checking out a new place. I personally wouldn't want to be running around to museums and other cultural attractions on a girls trip because, to me, those are low key and relaxing. But, to your point, I also wouldn't want to bother going to a city with a lot to offer if I wasn't going to actually do anything.

It sounds like you want to see them, so I would just discuss and say SF will be expensive (and time-consuming) so I'd be willing to do it but would like to do X, Y, and Z. If that doesn't sound good, maybe we do NY, which is closer, and see what they say. You're all entitled to your preferences, and real friends know how to discuss things.

[Anonymous]

I think I’d just be direct about it, like others have said “I want to get together and see you guys I miss you! Is it weird though that I don’t want to fly all the way out to CA to hang out, since what we all really want to do is hang out in the hotel bar and go out to dinner and stuff? Want to do that somewhere closer to home that’s still a new city? Or I’d actually love to see SF but I know you guys aren’t as in to exploring the cities we go to and that’s totally fine - but I have this feeling I’ll be wanting to go explore SF but that means I’ll be heading out on my own which is silly because I want to spend time with you. Am I making sense??” This is probably literally what my ADHD brain would say

[Anonymous]

Typically, these girls trips are really just cover for getting plowed by a rando. Does it really matter what you do during the day given what happens at night?

[Anonymous]

Here’s what I would text/say:

“San Fran sounds good! Or what about (insert other place(s) you’d rather go, OP)? BTW, are you up for doing some sightseeing on trip? If we opt for SF, I’d love to see XYZ while we are in town. Happy to do a little research and suggest some activities and restaurants.”

I mean, why is this difficult?

[Anonymous]

A girls weekend spent relaxing over coffee and wine and going out for dinners sounds great to me. I don't do these trips often, but when I do the whole point is to catch up and have downtime together so I wouldn't want to run around doing touristy things all day. That said I also wouldn't want to fly to California for this. I think you either need to go with the flow of the group dynamic (but definitely suggest someplace closer) or skip the trip. Do your sightseeing vacations with other people who enjoy a different pace.

[Anonymous]

I love seeing new places but don't love doing specifically touristy things. For example, I would not want to do a SF art gallery, or tour alcatraz, or go to the touristy pier with the seals or otters at it (clearly I can't remember the name of it sorry). I would not want to do any kind of guided tour, even one of those "tour like a local!" private tours. I would, however, like to walk around and find a fun restaurant, or chill in a coffee shop by a nice park, or enjoy nightlife in a new city. So maybe your friends really do think they are "seeing" SF even if their definition of "seeing" it is different than yours? If that's the case, you're not gonna convince them to do a staycation because they want to travel somewhere- they just have a different idea of what traveling looks like and that's fine. Not everyone is a compatible traveler. I hate traveling with friends for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Well, now I am pondering a world in which museums are dismissed as "touristy"

[Anonymous]

If everyone is around the dc metro area or east coast, I’d focus on finding a destination with a shorter flight than SF.

Charleston or Kiawah

Newport, RI

Montreal

San Juan, PR

FL (anywhere, really)

New Orleans (good food and music)

Nashville (good music)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, now I am pondering a world in which museums are dismissed as "touristy"

They are touristy. I like museums, but they are touristy.

[Anonymous]

Just jumping in without reading other posters - so this might have been proposed.

Why not an AirBnB somewhere quiet & easy to get to? Maybe with a local brewery or winery or hiking?

I get the empty nester not wanting to host - that doesn't feel like a vacation. Renting a house is a little better, especially if you have easy dinners/takeout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, now I am pondering a world in which museums are dismissed as "touristy"

Seriously? Should i show you a picture of the line to get into the Louvre? Let me give you a heads up, it's not full of Parisians taking in some relaxing art on their lunch break

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go to SF for a long weekend from the east coast. I was with a dozen people in 2018 and Muir Woods had just started requiring reservations the week we arrived. I decided to schedule a tour bus that guaranteed entry to the woods.

The tour of SF was "interesting", due to all the people living on the streets and the high likelihood your parked car would be broken into.

While Sausalito was scenic, Muir Woods was lovely and the requisite drive down Lombardi Street was fun, I don't think I would stay in SF, especially for a weekend.

Now Napa Valley, that could be fun for 5 days and it's a beautiful drive to all the wineries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, now I am pondering a world in which museums are dismissed as "touristy"

Seriously? Should i show you a picture of the line to get into the Louvre? Let me give you a heads up, it's not full of Parisians taking in some relaxing art on their lunch break

Prepare to have your mind blown: There are lots of museums, and people (not you, obviously, but lots of people, really) go to the ones in their home towns. They even buy these things called "memberships."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, now I am pondering a world in which museums are dismissed as "touristy"

They are touristy. I like museums, but they are touristy.

Madame Tussaud's is touristy. The Whitney is not, although tourists go there.