Boyfriend’s sister keeps taking my belongings

[Anonymous]

I would not leave anything at bf's home anymore and she would not be welcome in my home. I'd then try to decide if his support of her thieving ways was sweet or a deal breaker- but it's likely the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to break up with him. He's minimizing theft of your stuff. He's minimizing how you feel about it. This will be your future. Imagine having kids with a man like that. Dump him and it solves the sister issue.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why isn't anyone talking honestly about this? She isn't borrowing things. She's stealing.

She's a thief. She continues to do it despite the fact that she's been caught.

Your bf's response to this is bizarre and is a problem. He is enabling this.

I would not want anything to do with him or her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:End the relationship.

You've been direct with her and she hasn't changed. Your bf has not backed you up and that will not change.

This.

+1000 The fact that your boyfriend places keeping the peace with this sister over your concerns is problematic. Read all the threads about men placing their families of origin over their spouses. It’s extremely difficult to change this behavior. I know this from firsthand experience.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with you? Do not let her into your home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others with slight tweak:

She's lost the privilege to come to your house starting now. The boyfriend? While I don't like that he didn't stand by you, I can see a 27 year old guy having a soft spot for a much younger sister. He's on probation but don't think he warrants break up yet. Keep an eye on other ways he talks to you, protects you, stands in your corner and take this day to day. What do you want out of life and how does he really fit with those things?

OP here — In other respects he’s a very good partner — supportive, thoughtful, emotionally available and generally very protective of me and he has consistently defended me. That’s part of why this situation has given me pause.

Don’t be dim.
The thief is still his sister.
Once their parents catch wind of your accusations .. That’s it for you.

End that relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others with slight tweak:

She's lost the privilege to come to your house starting now. The boyfriend? While I don't like that he didn't stand by you, I can see a 27 year old guy having a soft spot for a much younger sister. He's on probation but don't think he warrants break up yet. Keep an eye on other ways he talks to you, protects you, stands in your corner and take this day to day. What do you want out of life and how does he really fit with those things?

OP here — In other respects he’s a very good partner — supportive, thoughtful, emotionally available and generally very protective of me and he has consistently defended me. That’s part of why this situation has given me pause.

He is faking being a good partner. He slipped here. What a clueless moron. He knew how his sister was, and he should have been preparing you and talking to her about not messing it up for him.
He is protective? He is probably controlling, not protective.
Has defended you? Why do you need to be defended?

[Anonymous]

Do not let her come to your home, and try not to leave anything at your boyfriend house. If I were you, I will ne annoyed at your boyfriend's reactions more than his sister stealing. If you see your boyfriend as a married material, please give it a deeper thought because you may have a troublesome sister in law to deal with and his family may take her sides no matter what. You just pray that she moves far away like to other states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others with slight tweak:

She's lost the privilege to come to your house starting now. The boyfriend? While I don't like that he didn't stand by you, I can see a 27 year old guy having a soft spot for a much younger sister. He's on probation but don't think he warrants break up yet. Keep an eye on other ways he talks to you, protects you, stands in your corner and take this day to day. What do you want out of life and how does he really fit with those things?

OP here — In other respects he’s a very good partner — supportive, thoughtful, emotionally available and generally very protective of me and he has consistently defended me. That’s part of why this situation has given me pause.

He is faking being a good partner. He slipped here. What a clueless moron. He knew how his sister was, and he should have been preparing you and talking to her about not messing it up for him.
He is protective? He is probably controlling, not protective.
Has defended you? Why do you need to be defended?

This.
Women think “ protective “ men are a flex…

Yeah .. No.

[Anonymous]

It's also weird that his sister is hanging around so much. I understand being close siblings and even spending time with each others SOsin a group but this seems like too much togetherness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's also weird that his sister is hanging around so much. I understand being close siblings and even spending time with each others SOsin a group but this seems like too much togetherness

+1

Does this kid have her own friends?

[Anonymous]

I'd call up her parents and discuss this.

[Anonymous]

I would wonder about what kind of family she (and her brother) come from. There is something very wrong with her and I would be wary of her family as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to break up with him. He's minimizing theft of your stuff. He's minimizing how you feel about it. This will be your future. Imagine having kids with a man like that. Dump him and it solves the sister issue.

THIS

[Anonymous]

Have you spoken to your bf's parents about this?