How does a child deal with getting into a college for Greek life only to get denied from all the chapters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To OP: It depends upon the school and the dominance or lack of dominance of the Greek system with respect to social life.

Which school ? SMU ? U Alabama ? Or ? Unsuccessful females often transfer out of schools with a dominant Greek presence such as SMU.

Contrary to the assertion of another poster, this may have a long-term effect on your child's self-image or self-worth, therefore it is important how this development is handled now.

OP has not shared enough information in order to offer advice.

I would also expect that if a school is THAT heavily Greek, such that people transfer if they don't join, then this would also negatively affect any value of alumni job networks as those would default to Greek alumni, not school alumni, networks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and was not accepted at any house. Our rush advisor had said early on that everyone was invited to at least one. We'll, not me. I was sad, disappointed, humiliated, etc. for a while, esp since roommate who was ambivalent and was only rushing because I convinced her to, got into the sorority I was desperate for.

It's 30+ years later, and the only time I've thought about it again sonve then was when our kids were applying to college and had nothing to check for if your mom was in a sorority. Turns out both went to schools with low levels of Greek life, and had zero interest in fraternities/sororities. It didn't really affect my life other than the initial feelings of self-doubt after the rejection.

So OP, I am speaking from experience, and am here to tell you that like much else that affects your child and therefore you, this too shall pass. Really

I have never seen a box to check on any of my kids applications asking about parents' Greek experience. Is that a real thing? [DH and I went to colleges that didn't have any Greek, so I'm lurking here out of curiosity].

Fraternity or sorority membership can affect the remainder of one's life both socially & professionally.

I know men who became wealthy primarily due to connections made in their fraternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an air of desperation coming from the parents. What in God's name did you tell your kid? You could've spent those 18 years cultivating a well-rounded person, but somehow came to this singular plan and when it fell through - you're lost. This is why your kid(s) lack grit and resilience, parents don't have it either.
Please for everything holy, raise your kids! Stop looking for a magic bullet to combat mediocrity. Then you don't need 'hacks'.

Not OP.

Maybe you've never met a mother whose greatest accomplishment in college was sorority membership which has been a significant part of her life for many decades after finishing college. The expectation of any daughter to become a member of a sorority is almost life encompassing.

Sorority membership has lifelong effects at a number of colleges and universities for both one's social life during & after college as well as for one's career.

Unfortunately I know plenty of grown women who still think this way. Their sorority membership is still a big deal to them when they hit their 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You accept the fact that Greek life is for losers anyway and move on.

The "losers" in Greek life have higher GPAs, higher graduation rates, and higher starting salaries than the "winners" who stay independent (often, as evidenced by this very thread, because no one gave them a bid). Greeks also tend to hold most of the leadership positions on campus and date the most desirable members of the opposite sex. But sure, keep telling yourself they're losers.

Sounds like from this response that they're also more obnoxious and have higher superiority complexes than non-Greeks as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and was not accepted at any house. Our rush advisor had said early on that everyone was invited to at least one. We'll, not me. I was sad, disappointed, humiliated, etc. for a while, esp since roommate who was ambivalent and was only rushing because I convinced her to, got into the sorority I was desperate for.

It's 30+ years later, and the only time I've thought about it again sonve then was when our kids were applying to college and had nothing to check for if your mom was in a sorority. Turns out both went to schools with low levels of Greek life, and had zero interest in fraternities/sororities. It didn't really affect my life other than the initial feelings of self-doubt after the rejection.

So OP, I am speaking from experience, and am here to tell you that like much else that affects your child and therefore you, this too shall pass. Really

Thank you for sharing your story.

- parent of a DD who is about to rush

[Anonymous]

Honestly if it’s that important to someone to be in a frat then they should do their due diligence when visiting schools. Our kids always asked not only about the existence of fraternities and sororities but also about what percent of students join, how competitive it is to join, etc. Two of my kids did Greek life, both at schools where it was not competitive to join.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To OP: It depends upon the school and the dominance or lack of dominance of the Greek system with respect to social life.

Which school ? SMU ? U Alabama ? Or ? Unsuccessful females often transfer out of schools with a dominant Greek presence such as SMU.

Contrary to the assertion of another poster, this may have a long-term effect on your child's self-image or self-worth, therefore it is important how this development is handled now.

OP has not shared enough information in order to offer advice.

A close friend of mine transferred out of UT for this reason. She rushed, didn't get in anywhere, and went back home to U of Iowa.

[Anonymous]

Most kids stay at the same school and deal. This is such a strange thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most kids stay at the same school and deal. This is such a strange thread.

You are wrong with respect to both of your points. Greek membership is very important at many, mostly Southern, schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and was not accepted at any house. Our rush advisor had said early on that everyone was invited to at least one. We'll, not me. I was sad, disappointed, humiliated, etc. for a while, esp since roommate who was ambivalent and was only rushing because I convinced her to, got into the sorority I was desperate for.

It's 30+ years later, and the only time I've thought about it again sonve then was when our kids were applying to college and had nothing to check for if your mom was in a sorority. Turns out both went to schools with low levels of Greek life, and had zero interest in fraternities/sororities. It didn't really affect my life other than the initial feelings of self-doubt after the rejection.

So OP, I am speaking from experience, and am here to tell you that like much else that affects your child and therefore you, this too shall pass. Really

I have never seen a box to check on any of my kids applications asking about parents' Greek experience. Is that a real thing? [DH and I went to colleges that didn't have any Greek, so I'm lurking here out of curiosity].

Fraternity or sorority membership can affect the remainder of one's life both socially & professionally.

I know men who became wealthy primarily due to connections made in their fraternity.

Are you responding to a different question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an air of desperation coming from the parents. What in God's name did you tell your kid? You could've spent those 18 years cultivating a well-rounded person, but somehow came to this singular plan and when it fell through - you're lost. This is why your kid(s) lack grit and resilience, parents don't have it either.
Please for everything holy, raise your kids! Stop looking for a magic bullet to combat mediocrity. Then you don't need 'hacks'.

Not OP.

Maybe you've never met a mother whose greatest accomplishment in college was sorority membership which has been a significant part of her life for many decades after finishing college. The expectation of any daughter to become a member of a sorority is almost life encompassing.

Sorority membership has lifelong effects at a number of colleges and universities for both one's social life during & after college as well as for one's career.

So does just having a great group of accomplished college friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You accept the fact that Greek life is for losers anyway and move on.

The "losers" in Greek life have higher GPAs, higher graduation rates, and higher starting salaries than the "winners" who stay independent (often, as evidenced by this very thread, because no one gave them a bid). Greeks also tend to hold most of the leadership positions on campus and date the most desirable members of the opposite sex. But sure, keep telling yourself they're losers.

Sounds like from this response that they're also more obnoxious and have higher superiority complexes than non-Greeks as well.

Sounds like from this response you've never darkened the door of a top-tier house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The point of college is to prepare for your career and the next phase of life. Greek life is only a tiny part of that experience. I don’t understand the great disappointment. I was a Kappa (one of the best houses on our campus) and I barely participated. Quite frankly, my overall experience would have similar without it.

Yea, well, your experience isn't relevant or helpful.

you are a jackass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would someone process that?

what is there to process. If this is the first time things have not worked out, it is a good lesson. Life is filled with things that don’t work out. Rejection is hard - you just get up and find a more inclusive group to join.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You accept the fact that Greek life is for losers anyway and move on.

The "losers" in Greek life have higher GPAs, higher graduation rates, and higher starting salaries than the "winners" who stay independent (often, as evidenced by this very thread, because no one gave them a bid). Greeks also tend to hold most of the leadership positions on campus and date the most desirable members of the opposite sex. But sure, keep telling yourself they're losers.

As someone who was scholarship chairman in his fraternity, I can assure you this is not true in the slightest.