How does a child deal with getting into a college for Greek life only to get denied from all the chapters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A girl who lived across the hall from me in the dorms freshman year rushed but didn't get an offer from a sorority she wanted to join (she had very particular opinions about The Sorority she should belong to; they did not agree). She rushed again sophomore year, which was very unusual at our school, and got a bid from a different sorority that she decided was good enough. She then became the single biggest booster of that sorority I will ever meet, and I assume she's glad she went through the extra (slightly embarrassing) effort of trying again.

Why is it embarrassing she tried again? I don’t understand this part of your story.

[Anonymous]

Make it into a story of resilience. Do something else more worthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A girl who lived across the hall from me in the dorms freshman year rushed but didn't get an offer from a sorority she wanted to join (she had very particular opinions about The Sorority she should belong to; they did not agree). She rushed again sophomore year, which was very unusual at our school, and got a bid from a different sorority that she decided was good enough. She then became the single biggest booster of that sorority I will ever meet, and I assume she's glad she went through the extra (slightly embarrassing) effort of trying again.

Why is it embarrassing she tried again? I don’t understand this part of your story.

Because, as I noted in the post, sophomore rush was a very unusual option at this school. It wasn't a school where a bunch of people transferred in and sophomore year was another reliable source of pledges. Most people had never even heard of it when she talked about it, so it led directly to the "you can rush sophomore year/ did you not try last year / oh, you did, ohhhh, good luck!" conversation.

Somewhat embarrassing, but worth it for her in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A girl who lived across the hall from me in the dorms freshman year rushed but didn't get an offer from a sorority she wanted to join (she had very particular opinions about The Sorority she should belong to; they did not agree). She rushed again sophomore year, which was very unusual at our school, and got a bid from a different sorority that she decided was good enough. She then became the single biggest booster of that sorority I will ever meet, and I assume she's glad she went through the extra (slightly embarrassing) effort of trying again.

Why is it embarrassing she tried again? I don’t understand this part of your story.

Because, as I noted in the post, sophomore rush was a very unusual option at this school. It wasn't a school where a bunch of people transferred in and sophomore year was another reliable source of pledges. Most people had never even heard of it when she talked about it, so it led directly to the "you can rush sophomore year/ did you not try last year / oh, you did, ohhhh, good luck!" conversation.

Somewhat embarrassing, but worth it for her in the end.

No one cares about experiences two decades ago anyway.

[Anonymous]

Sophomore rush. When they know themself and the school better and can focus on exactly what is a good fit.

This is especially good for girls who don't know anything about rush freshman year, focus on all the "top" sororities/houses and drop the rest, only to wind up without a bid at the end.

[Anonymous]

I rushed and was not accepted at any house. Our rush advisor had said early on that everyone was invited to at least one. We'll, not me. I was sad, disappointed, humiliated, etc. for a while, esp since roommate who was ambivalent and was only rushing because I convinced her to, got into the sorority I was desperate for.

It's 30+ years later, and the only time I've thought about it again sonve then was when our kids were applying to college and had nothing to check for if your mom was in a sorority. Turns out both went to schools with low levels of Greek life, and had zero interest in fraternities/sororities. It didn't really affect my life other than the initial feelings of self-doubt after the rejection.

So OP, I am speaking from experience, and am here to tell you that like much else that affects your child and therefore you, this too shall pass. Really

[Anonymous]

There is an air of desperation coming from the parents. What in God's name did you tell your kid? You could've spent those 18 years cultivating a well-rounded person, but somehow came to this singular plan and when it fell through - you're lost. This is why your kid(s) lack grit and resilience, parents don't have it either.
Please for everything holy, raise your kids! Stop looking for a magic bullet to combat mediocrity. Then you don't need 'hacks'.

[Anonymous]

Transfer somewhere without sororities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sophomore rush. When they know themself and the school better and can focus on exactly what is a good fit.

This is especially good for girls who don't know anything about rush freshman year, focus on all the "top" sororities/houses and drop the rest, only to wind up without a bid at the end.

The schools where rush is particularly competitive tend not to have sophomores rush, at least for the in demand chapters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A girl who lived across the hall from me in the dorms freshman year rushed but didn't get an offer from a sorority she wanted to join (she had very particular opinions about The Sorority she should belong to; they did not agree). She rushed again sophomore year, which was very unusual at our school, and got a bid from a different sorority that she decided was good enough. She then became the single biggest booster of that sorority I will ever meet, and I assume she's glad she went through the extra (slightly embarrassing) effort of trying again.

Why is it embarrassing she tried again? I don’t understand this part of your story.

Because, as I noted in the post, sophomore rush was a very unusual option at this school. It wasn't a school where a bunch of people transferred in and sophomore year was another reliable source of pledges. Most people had never even heard of it when she talked about it, so it led directly to the "you can rush sophomore year/ did you not try last year / oh, you did, ohhhh, good luck!" conversation.

Somewhat embarrassing, but worth it for her in the end.

No one cares about experiences two decades ago anyway.

Right. Which is why this whole thread is eye-rolling stupid. NP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You accept the fact that Greek life is for losers anyway and move on.

The "losers" in Greek life have higher GPAs, higher graduation rates, and higher starting salaries than the "winners" who stay independent (often, as evidenced by this very thread, because no one gave them a bid). Greeks also tend to hold most of the leadership positions on campus and date the most desirable members of the opposite sex. But sure, keep telling yourself they're losers.

[Anonymous]

To OP: It depends upon the school and the dominance or lack of dominance of the Greek system with respect to social life.

Which school ? SMU ? U Alabama ? Or ? Unsuccessful females often transfer out of schools with a dominant Greek presence such as SMU.

Contrary to the assertion of another poster, this may have a long-term effect on your child's self-image or self-worth, therefore it is important how this development is handled now.

OP has not shared enough information in order to offer advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and was not accepted at any house. Our rush advisor had said early on that everyone was invited to at least one. We'll, not me. I was sad, disappointed, humiliated, etc. for a while, esp since roommate who was ambivalent and was only rushing because I convinced her to, got into the sorority I was desperate for.

It's 30+ years later, and the only time I've thought about it again sonve then was when our kids were applying to college and had nothing to check for if your mom was in a sorority. Turns out both went to schools with low levels of Greek life, and had zero interest in fraternities/sororities. It didn't really affect my life other than the initial feelings of self-doubt after the rejection.

So OP, I am speaking from experience, and am here to tell you that like much else that affects your child and therefore you, this too shall pass. Really

I have never seen a box to check on any of my kids applications asking about parents' Greek experience. Is that a real thing? [DH and I went to colleges that didn't have any Greek, so I'm lurking here out of curiosity].

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You accept the fact that Greek life is for losers anyway and move on.

The "losers" in Greek life have higher GPAs, higher graduation rates, and higher starting salaries than the "winners" who stay independent (often, as evidenced by this very thread, because no one gave them a bid). Greeks also tend to hold most of the leadership positions on campus and date the most desirable members of the opposite sex. But sure, keep telling yourself they're losers.

I was rush director of my sorority and can honestly say it sounds like you are still in college, as opposed to being an adult. Learn some empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an air of desperation coming from the parents. What in God's name did you tell your kid? You could've spent those 18 years cultivating a well-rounded person, but somehow came to this singular plan and when it fell through - you're lost. This is why your kid(s) lack grit and resilience, parents don't have it either.
Please for everything holy, raise your kids! Stop looking for a magic bullet to combat mediocrity. Then you don't need 'hacks'.

Not OP.

Maybe you've never met a mother whose greatest accomplishment in college was sorority membership which has been a significant part of her life for many decades after finishing college. The expectation of any daughter to become a member of a sorority is almost life encompassing.

Sorority membership has lifelong effects at a number of colleges and universities for both one's social life during & after college as well as for one's career.