Husband and friend trips

[Anonymous]

Tell him to have his mom, dad, sister, brother or cousin to come in to help those days. His trip, he needs to arrange extra childcare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me and asked to go on three friend trips next year. These trips would be around 4 or 5 days and take place during the school year.

The issue is we have three children including a toddler. All three go to different schools and I work a full time job. We have very limited support as our family lives in another state. I said I didn't agree with him going on these trips because it means I have to take leave from work and one of the trips is the week before spring break.

My husband insists I am wrong and being controlling. He went on a trip this year with his brother and I was fine with it but due to my work hours and our kids school schedule I had to arrive late and take off early every single day that he was gone.

Im trying to determine if I am in the wrong for how I feel. Thoughts?

Yes you are wrong and I think you have other reasons for objecting. You know perfectly well with the advanced notice you have you could work out schools commute logistics.

Nope. HIS trip, HIS responsibility to handle logistics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty bold for a man to tell his wife that he’s taking 4 leisurely trips with his AP.

Sadly, this is likely. MY DH didn't travel much, then took an annual "Friend" vacation after we had 4 kids. We divorced this year after I learned of his multi-year AP, and I think these trips were a couple days with a friend and then a few days with her.
Track him OP. and start looking at his phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, it would depend on the specifics. Like if all my law school friends turned 50 the same year, there might be three parties all over the country. If a 4 day trip includes a three day weekend, then one day doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. My husband owns his own business and I have unlimited PTO so vacation days don’t come into play for us. There are just a lot of variables to consider before I would be mad about this.

+1

I can't really have an opinion about this without more info from the OP. A 4-day trip over a long weekend is a totally different proposition than a 4 day trip on weekdays during a normal workweek. And how important the occasions for the trips are matters too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I question what’s really going on during these trips.

Lol, OK.

That says something about you and says nothing about OP's situation.

[Anonymous]

He wants to f*** off for 15+ days? Is that all of his annual vacation or close to?

He sounds insane. I don’t even know how I’d react to my husband suggesting something like this. Flabbergasted I guess.

I’d say pick the most important one and go on that. But he already sounds hostile so I’m guessing that won’t go well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty bold for a man to tell his wife that he’s taking 4 leisurely trips with his AP.

This was exactly my instinct too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me and asked to go on three friend trips next year. These trips would be around 4 or 5 days and take place during the school year.

The issue is we have three children including a toddler. All three go to different schools and I work a full time job. We have very limited support as our family lives in another state. I said I didn't agree with him going on these trips because it means I have to take leave from work and one of the trips is the week before spring break.

My husband insists I am wrong and being controlling. He went on a trip this year with his brother and I was fine with it but due to my work hours and our kids school schedule I had to arrive late and take off early every single day that he was gone.

Im trying to determine if I am in the wrong for how I feel. Thoughts?

Reading this forum reveals a lot of facts ...OP's story has been repeated so many times it amazes me women still sign up for it

[Anonymous]

Even if all three are over weekends that’s a lot of leave and a lot to ask of a spouse.

[Anonymous]

Where do men find these women who put up with so much s**t lol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do men find these women who put up with so much s**t lol?

Girllllllll. Here on DCUM
They love their ill behaving husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me and asked to go on three friend trips next year. These trips would be around 4 or 5 days and take place during the school year.

The issue is we have three children including a toddler. All three go to different schools and I work a full time job. We have very limited support as our family lives in another state. I said I didn't agree with him going on these trips because it means I have to take leave from work and one of the trips is the week before spring break.

My husband insists I am wrong and being controlling. He went on a trip this year with his brother and I was fine with it but due to my work hours and our kids school schedule I had to arrive late and take off early every single day that he was gone.

Im trying to determine if I am in the wrong for how I feel. Thoughts?

Your husband is selfish and self centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do men find these women who put up with so much s**t lol?

And have 3 kids with them too. Wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your issues run deeper than the surface level problem implies. My husband would not want to spend 3 weeks of his annual vacation time with friends, away from his kids and wife, especially when doing so would cause an extra burden on me. I’m all for long weekend trips, in moderation, but your DH’s attitude is so selfish and entitled.

He might not be using vacation time. A lot of people have jobs without traditional vacation metrics. My husband doesn't "vacation" or PTO. He can do whatever he wants whenever he wants as long as the job gets done. And if he needs to go off grid for a week or two, he just needs to make appropriate arrangements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do men find these women who put up with so much s**t lol?

Plenty of woman do this as well.