Husband and friend trips

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Your husband is inconsiderate and immature.

Best of luck w a husband as such.

[Anonymous]

He’s being a selfish a$$. Does he plan vacations as a family too? This is him living like a single person.

[Anonymous]

DH and I each do a couple long weekends away with friends a year. Generally we can rearrange our work schedules and its not a big deal. If we can't, the one who is going away arranges for a babysitter or whatever is needed in their absence.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would go back to him and say it is fine but you will be taking equal amounts of time away, too. See what he says. Pretty sure he will not agree to that.

[Anonymous]

My DH would never suggest this.

Why does your DH have kids and a wife?

I have no problem with DH going away but 3 times for this long nope.

[Anonymous]

Are you guys in counseling? This might be a sign to start.

[Anonymous]

Pretty bold for a man to tell his wife that he’s taking 4 leisurely trips with his AP.

[Anonymous]

My DH would never even consider one trip, let alone 4 in one year. I have to encourage my DH to spend more time with his friends. How many vacation days does he have? Is he spending most of them on himself? I would not be ok with this arrangement unless we had family or a nanny on call to help out AND he spent more of his vacation time with his family AND he was ok with me doing the same.

[Anonymous]

I mean, it would depend on the specifics. Like if all my law school friends turned 50 the same year, there might be three parties all over the country. If a 4 day trip includes a three day weekend, then one day doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. My husband owns his own business and I have unlimited PTO so vacation days don’t come into play for us. There are just a lot of variables to consider before I would be mad about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your issues run deeper than the surface level problem implies. My husband would not want to spend 3 weeks of his annual vacation time with friends, away from his kids and wife, especially when doing so would cause an extra burden on me. I’m all for long weekend trips, in moderation, but your DH’s attitude is so selfish and entitled.

This. Read this post several times, OP.

Another thought that I hope I’m wrong about. Are you sure about who he’s going on these trips with? Like, is there active social media posting, conversations you’re having with the other wives, etc.? Do your husband’s friends have the type of relationships where they, you know, cover for each other?

[Anonymous]

My dh has been twice in 2 years for 4 days for a big reunion.

Anymore would be too many specially with all the things you have to end up doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me and asked to go on three friend trips next year. These trips would be around 4 or 5 days and take place during the school year.

The issue is we have three children including a toddler. All three go to different schools and I work a full time job. We have very limited support as our family lives in another state. I said I didn't agree with him going on these trips because it means I have to take leave from work and one of the trips is the week before spring break.

My husband insists I am wrong and being controlling. He went on a trip this year with his brother and I was fine with it but due to my work hours and our kids school schedule I had to arrive late and take off early every single day that he was gone.

Im trying to determine if I am in the wrong for how I feel. Thoughts?

Yes you are wrong and I think you have other reasons for objecting. You know perfectly well with the advanced notice you have you could work out schools commute logistics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband came to me and asked to go on three friend trips next year. These trips would be around 4 or 5 days and take place during the school year.

The issue is we have three children including a toddler. All three go to different schools and I work a full time job. We have very limited support as our family lives in another state. I said I didn't agree with him going on these trips because it means I have to take leave from work and one of the trips is the week before spring break.

My husband insists I am wrong and being controlling. He went on a trip this year with his brother and I was fine with it but due to my work hours and our kids school schedule I had to arrive late and take off early every single day that he was gone.

Im trying to determine if I am in the wrong for how I feel. Thoughts?

Yes you are wrong and I think you have other reasons for objecting. You know perfectly well with the advanced notice you have you could work out schools commute logistics.

The DH has found the thread.

[Anonymous]

I question what’s really going on during these trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty bold for a man to tell his wife that he’s taking 4 leisurely trips with his AP.

Ughhh.