How early into dating do men expect sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are safe ways to have near-sex (no transfer of bodily fluids into the other body) that help bridge the gap without creating sexual frustration.

There are, but who wants to relive high school.

Wow please be sure to say that on the first date so I know we have no future.

Who is interested in a future?

[Anonymous]

Not until marriage.

[Anonymous]

As a woman - I don't have any idea and I don't care. I would have sex in the first meeting if I am insanely physically attracted to someone and also feel safe with them and they are similarly attracted to me and have no red flags. If that attraction is not there, I would not have any need to have sex with them. I may continue dating them hoping that the affection and attraction would develop.

Sorry, but the man's expectation around sex is not my issue. They can use their hands and self satisfy themselves. My need for sex is also not a man's issue. He does not have to "perform" if he is not feeling it or is not interested.

BUT, I also pay for my share of the date and I use my own transportation. So there is that.

[Anonymous]

Women break the rules for Chad but enforce them for Brad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women break the rules for Chad but enforce them for Brad.

This guy doesn’t f*ck.

[Anonymous]

Every woman I've been with expected sex by at least 3rd date. They made that rule, not me. Most woman I've been with was sex on first date and most of the rest was second date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TO answer some of the questions in this post....

I'm a late forties woman and I wait at least a couple months. Sometimes more like three or four months. I wait until we have had a convo about what we both want, relationship wise, and agree to exclusivity, and I need to see STD testing results. Then I use a condom for both oral and vaginal.

The only person I have had sex with without a condom is my ex husband. If a man wants to have sex with me without a condom, he needs to put a ring on it. I'm not risking STDs in the dating world. OLD makes it very easy for men to be super slutty. STDs are on the rise. And frankly men cannot test for HPV, which condoms protect against somewhat. And a lot of times, HPV passes from a man's system within a year or two. So if you are using condoms for the first couple years, it decreases your chances that you will catch HPV from him.

I've never tested positive for a STD, and I get checked every year. To me, this caution is worth it.

IME, most men try to start having sex around dates four to six. That's fine, but you don't have to say yes. IME most guys are willing to wait a few months or so. I've had a couple guys move on, but I'm pretty sure they weren't that into me anyway. A guy who is really into you will wait a few months and get STD testing.

Oh - and get the HPV vaccine! Insurance will cover if you get the first shot before you turn 45 or 46. After that, you can ask your gyn or pop to write a scrip. Don't listen to them if they tell you you don't need it. Most doctors are married and don't understand how slutty dating is these days thanks to OLD. It's very easy for men to be dating multiple women at once, which increases the risk of STDs.

Agree with the above. Men also needs to get HPV vaccine. Even if over 45. They sleep around and risk my health

Agree! I wish more straight men in my age group would get it.

I've requested and received every single vaccine available to me and that one, is not. They couldn't give me a good explanation but they would not give me the HPV vaccine. Early 60s man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every woman I've been with expected sex by at least 3rd date. They made that rule, not me. Most woman I've been with was sex on first date and most of the rest was second date.

Can you describe these women? Ages? Socioeconomic status? Religions? How you met them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TO answer some of the questions in this post....

I'm a late forties woman and I wait at least a couple months. Sometimes more like three or four months. I wait until we have had a convo about what we both want, relationship wise, and agree to exclusivity, and I need to see STD testing results. Then I use a condom for both oral and vaginal.

The only person I have had sex with without a condom is my ex husband. If a man wants to have sex with me without a condom, he needs to put a ring on it. I'm not risking STDs in the dating world. OLD makes it very easy for men to be super slutty. STDs are on the rise. And frankly men cannot test for HPV, which condoms protect against somewhat. And a lot of times, HPV passes from a man's system within a year or two. So if you are using condoms for the first couple years, it decreases your chances that you will catch HPV from him.

I've never tested positive for a STD, and I get checked every year. To me, this caution is worth it.

IME, most men try to start having sex around dates four to six. That's fine, but you don't have to say yes. IME most guys are willing to wait a few months or so. I've had a couple guys move on, but I'm pretty sure they weren't that into me anyway. A guy who is really into you will wait a few months and get STD testing.

Oh - and get the HPV vaccine! Insurance will cover if you get the first shot before you turn 45 or 46. After that, you can ask your gyn or pop to write a scrip. Don't listen to them if they tell you you don't need it. Most doctors are married and don't understand how slutty dating is these days thanks to OLD. It's very easy for men to be dating multiple women at once, which increases the risk of STDs.

Agree with the above. Men also needs to get HPV vaccine. Even if over 45. They sleep around and risk my health

Agree! I wish more straight men in my age group would get it.

I've requested and received every single vaccine available to me and that one, is not. They couldn't give me a good explanation but they would not give me the HPV vaccine. Early 60s man.

Time to change your doctor. Maybe they meant insurance wouldn’t cover it but you can do self pay

[Anonymous]

In religious groups, couples wait until married or at minimum engaged with a wedding venue booked. They do marry young though so not waiting until 30's.

[Anonymous]

You should not be having sex while dating. Have sex only after you are married

[Anonymous]

Getting STDs should be the least of your worries. Answering to our creator on the day of judgement should scare you more than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:guy here - i've been willing to wait for a month+ but the best relationships i've ever had were when the woman either slept with me on date 1 or wanted to (and i turned it down and then we slept with each other on date 2)...

...the last two people i went on dates with that I wanted to see more of....one was hesitant to kiss after date 2 when i went in, the other was kinda hesitant to kiss after a four-hour date 1...

...I still wanted to see both of them and would've been willing to take it slow but they weren't interested.

So, while in theory i'd be down to wait, my lived experience seems to indicate that if a woman isn't wanting to be handsy/kiss on at the end of a long first date or atleast date 2, i'm cooked.

^^woman here and yep!! If I like you I want to touch you. Maybe not have sex or even take clothes off, but I definitely know how I feel by the end of a good date.

That's not the question! OP is asking SEX, not about intimacy outside of sex. I will do everything but sex pretty quickly. Sex is a whole other ball game. It brings risks - emotional, STDs, pregnancy, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TO answer some of the questions in this post....

I'm a late forties woman and I wait at least a couple months. Sometimes more like three or four months. I wait until we have had a convo about what we both want, relationship wise, and agree to exclusivity, and I need to see STD testing results. Then I use a condom for both oral and vaginal.

The only person I have had sex with without a condom is my ex husband. If a man wants to have sex with me without a condom, he needs to put a ring on it. I'm not risking STDs in the dating world. OLD makes it very easy for men to be super slutty. STDs are on the rise. And frankly men cannot test for HPV, which condoms protect against somewhat. And a lot of times, HPV passes from a man's system within a year or two. So if you are using condoms for the first couple years, it decreases your chances that you will catch HPV from him.

I've never tested positive for a STD, and I get checked every year. To me, this caution is worth it.

IME, most men try to start having sex around dates four to six. That's fine, but you don't have to say yes. IME most guys are willing to wait a few months or so. I've had a couple guys move on, but I'm pretty sure they weren't that into me anyway. A guy who is really into you will wait a few months and get STD testing.

Oh - and get the HPV vaccine! Insurance will cover if you get the first shot before you turn 45 or 46. After that, you can ask your gyn or pop to write a scrip. Don't listen to them if they tell you you don't need it. Most doctors are married and don't understand how slutty dating is these days thanks to OLD. It's very easy for men to be dating multiple women at once, which increases the risk of STDs.

Agree with the above. Men also needs to get HPV vaccine. Even if over 45. They sleep around and risk my health

Agree! I wish more straight men in my age group would get it.

I've requested and received every single vaccine available to me and that one, is not. They couldn't give me a good explanation but they would not give me the HPV vaccine. Early 60s man.

Tell them you will pay out of pocket and then just get one vaccine if you can't afford the other two.

Or go to some sort of gay mens health clinic and let them think you are gay. Gay men can get it.

Or argue with your doctor and tell them you want it off label.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting STDs should be the least of your worries. Answering to our creator on the day of judgement should scare you more than anything else.

Eh, if God makes sex fun then wants to pass judgement on people for doing it, not really a God I’m interested in worshipping. That’s narcissistic and abusive behavior.