Dealing with student who likes to “report” everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The flip side of this is that they told DC to not be a tattle teller for many early years, so nothing gets reported. Then in 5th grade all kinds of bullies and harassment started and nothing got reported. There were no ‘self advocacy‘ skills that the child could call upon.

That's on the parent for failing to teach the difference between bullying and harassment and kids who annoy you or don't take orders from you to not breathe in their direction or to not look at you in the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually like the idea of the journal. You aren’t going to change her personality. Just have her write it down and you glance over it at the end of the week to make sure there is nothing major. And she’ll probably stop writing everything down pretty soon because she isn’t getting the instant little triumph of telling on someone that she’s looking for.

+1. Even more simply, I would create an auto-reply that said thank you for your message. Your message has been recorded.

Then I’d call it a day.

[Anonymous]

"I've had a complaint from another child and their parent that Judy's incessant tattling is wearing on their mental health. Could you discuss being kind and understanding to others with her?"

[Anonymous]

My child used to report to teachers or staffs on duty if he felt that he got bullied verbally or physically between k and 2nd grade. They caught some kids on school surveillance camera after the report, and he was right that some kids cut his line or pushed him. He was taught by us and teachers that he was right to report. He has anxiety, autism and adhd, and he tries his best to understand & defend and protect himself from others trying to belittle him or bully him or accuse him. He cried a lot at kindergarten & 1st grade school year because he did not understand why some kids are so mean to him. He has no real friends at school, but he actually is a sweet boy who is a bit social awkward. Things have been getting better and he has some random friends to play with now. And, he rarely report anything to teachers or staff now because he is more matured and he knows how to handle more different types of situations at school.

I just want to say that I would rather teachers not to yell at kids that report everything and try to be understanding . For my son, he was really insecure and sensitive, but he tried to be a well behaved student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child used to report to teachers or staffs on duty if he felt that he got bullied verbally or physically between k and 2nd grade. They caught some kids on school surveillance camera after the report, and he was right that some kids cut his line or pushed him. He was taught by us and teachers that he was right to report. He has anxiety, autism and adhd, and he tries his best to understand & defend and protect himself from others trying to belittle him or bully him or accuse him. He cried a lot at kindergarten & 1st grade school year because he did not understand why some kids are so mean to him. He has no real friends at school, but he actually is a sweet boy who is a bit social awkward. Things have been getting better and he has some random friends to play with now. And, he rarely report anything to teachers or staff now because he is more matured and he knows how to handle more different types of situations at school.

I just want to say that I would rather teachers not to yell at kids that report everything and try to be understanding . For my son, he was really insecure and sensitive, but he tried to be a well behaved student.

Did you ever think about the effects on the other kids? What if it was your sweet boy getting tattled on incessantly? Other kids have their own issues, not just yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child used to report to teachers or staffs on duty if he felt that he got bullied verbally or physically between k and 2nd grade. They caught some kids on school surveillance camera after the report, and he was right that some kids cut his line or pushed him. He was taught by us and teachers that he was right to report. He has anxiety, autism and adhd, and he tries his best to understand & defend and protect himself from others trying to belittle him or bully him or accuse him. He cried a lot at kindergarten & 1st grade school year because he did not understand why some kids are so mean to him. He has no real friends at school, but he actually is a sweet boy who is a bit social awkward. Things have been getting better and he has some random friends to play with now. And, he rarely report anything to teachers or staff now because he is more matured and he knows how to handle more different types of situations at school.

I just want to say that I would rather teachers not to yell at kids that report everything and try to be understanding . For my son, he was really insecure and sensitive, but he tried to be a well behaved student.

Did you ever think about the effects on the other kids? What if it was your sweet boy getting tattled on incessantly? Other kids have their own issues, not just yours.

How much someone is “tattled” on is completely irrelevant if the teacher tells the tattler thank you and moves on. It’s only a problem if you kid is doing things naughty enough that warrant consequences. Otherwise, who cares? She can tell on him for tapping his pencil every day- nothing will happen and he likely won’t even know since the teacher will just ignore the complaint.

[Anonymous]

I like the journal idea. Have her write things down and give you her journal on Fridays.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it is wise or right to tell a child to stop telling their teacher if they see something wrong happening or if someone is making them uncomfortable. As the teacher, it’s your job to triage these complaints. If they are insignificant- just say thank you and ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard a standard recently that I really liked:

We tell adults to get someone OUT of trouble (they are in an unsafe situation, doing something dangerous, someone needs help, etc)

We shouldn’t tell adults to get someone IN trouble.

I think that’s a good standard for kids and perhaps you could explain that standard to your class and then to the parent as well.

No, sometimes people need to get someone else in trouble.

Assign “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” to the mom and kid. Much more accurate lesson in that.

That book is a bad example. The little girl isn’t making up stories or exaggerating, she’s telling the truth exactly as she remembers it.

Honesty is not the problem here, social skills are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it is wise or right to tell a child to stop telling their teacher if they see something wrong happening or if someone is making them uncomfortable. As the teacher, it’s your job to triage these complaints. If they are insignificant- just say thank you and ignore.

1st grader is not the problem. The mom should not be emailing these “complaints.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child used to report to teachers or staffs on duty if he felt that he got bullied verbally or physically between k and 2nd grade. They caught some kids on school surveillance camera after the report, and he was right that some kids cut his line or pushed him. He was taught by us and teachers that he was right to report. He has anxiety, autism and adhd, and he tries his best to understand & defend and protect himself from others trying to belittle him or bully him or accuse him. He cried a lot at kindergarten & 1st grade school year because he did not understand why some kids are so mean to him. He has no real friends at school, but he actually is a sweet boy who is a bit social awkward. Things have been getting better and he has some random friends to play with now. And, he rarely report anything to teachers or staff now because he is more matured and he knows how to handle more different types of situations at school.

I just want to say that I would rather teachers not to yell at kids that report everything and try to be understanding . For my son, he was really insecure and sensitive, but he tried to be a well behaved student.

Did you ever think about the effects on the other kids? What if it was your sweet boy getting tattled on incessantly? Other kids have their own issues, not just yours.

How much someone is “tattled” on is completely irrelevant if the teacher tells the tattler thank you and moves on. It’s only a problem if you kid is doing things naughty enough that warrant consequences. Otherwise, who cares? She can tell on him for tapping his pencil every day- nothing will happen and he likely won’t even know since the teacher will just ignore the complaint.

No. You can’t demand kindness to the tattler while not giving any to the offender. The teachers more often than not do get involved and separate the kids to get each side and punishments ensue. See pps example about checking video for cutting in line- what the hell? The other kid may also be working on social skills and the constant setbacks and negative feedback suck too. Don’t reinforce this crap at home by telling your kids every inconvenience is bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it is wise or right to tell a child to stop telling their teacher if they see something wrong happening or if someone is making them uncomfortable. As the teacher, it’s your job to triage these complaints. If they are insignificant- just say thank you and ignore.

1st grader is not the problem. The mom should not be emailing these “complaints.”

So what? Just say thanks for letting me know or don’t respond. Big deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child used to report to teachers or staffs on duty if he felt that he got bullied verbally or physically between k and 2nd grade. They caught some kids on school surveillance camera after the report, and he was right that some kids cut his line or pushed him. He was taught by us and teachers that he was right to report. He has anxiety, autism and adhd, and he tries his best to understand & defend and protect himself from others trying to belittle him or bully him or accuse him. He cried a lot at kindergarten & 1st grade school year because he did not understand why some kids are so mean to him. He has no real friends at school, but he actually is a sweet boy who is a bit social awkward. Things have been getting better and he has some random friends to play with now. And, he rarely report anything to teachers or staff now because he is more matured and he knows how to handle more different types of situations at school.

I just want to say that I would rather teachers not to yell at kids that report everything and try to be understanding . For my son, he was really insecure and sensitive, but he tried to be a well behaved student.

I think I know what he did not have friends….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child used to report to teachers or staffs on duty if he felt that he got bullied verbally or physically between k and 2nd grade. They caught some kids on school surveillance camera after the report, and he was right that some kids cut his line or pushed him. He was taught by us and teachers that he was right to report. He has anxiety, autism and adhd, and he tries his best to understand & defend and protect himself from others trying to belittle him or bully him or accuse him. He cried a lot at kindergarten & 1st grade school year because he did not understand why some kids are so mean to him. He has no real friends at school, but he actually is a sweet boy who is a bit social awkward. Things have been getting better and he has some random friends to play with now. And, he rarely report anything to teachers or staff now because he is more matured and he knows how to handle more different types of situations at school.

I just want to say that I would rather teachers not to yell at kids that report everything and try to be understanding . For my son, he was really insecure and sensitive, but he tried to be a well behaved student.

Did you ever think about the effects on the other kids? What if it was your sweet boy getting tattled on incessantly? Other kids have their own issues, not just yours.

How much someone is “tattled” on is completely irrelevant if the teacher tells the tattler thank you and moves on. It’s only a problem if you kid is doing things naughty enough that warrant consequences. Otherwise, who cares? She can tell on him for tapping his pencil every day- nothing will happen and he likely won’t even know since the teacher will just ignore the complaint.

No. You can’t demand kindness to the tattler while not giving any to the offender. The teachers more often than not do get involved and separate the kids to get each side and punishments ensue. See pps example about checking video for cutting in line- what the hell? The other kid may also be working on social skills and the constant setbacks and negative feedback suck too. Don’t reinforce this crap at home by telling your kids every inconvenience is bullying.

What are you talking about? I think you got lost..

I really don’t think anything in here needs a teacher intervention at all. The tattling can be ignored by the teacher, and the things being tattled seem insignificant enough that nothing needs to be done. There is nothing to see or do here.

[Anonymous]

How exhausting. Sorry OP
I’d def keep doing what you’re doing w both the tattle momma and her tattle kid