Dealing with student who likes to “report” everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say out loud in front of the class for all to hear "Nobody likes a tattle tale! Go sit down!"

Is this the 1950s?

[Anonymous]

The flip side of this is that they told DC to not be a tattle teller for many early years, so nothing gets reported. Then in 5th grade all kinds of bullies and harassment started and nothing got reported. There were no ‘self advocacy‘ skills that the child could call upon.

[Anonymous]

I actually like the idea of the journal. You aren’t going to change her personality. Just have her write it down and you glance over it at the end of the week to make sure there is nothing major. And she’ll probably stop writing everything down pretty soon because she isn’t getting the instant little triumph of telling on someone that she’s looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just say out loud in front of the class for all to hear "Nobody likes a tattle tale! Go sit down!"

This is ok for a child to do. Adults should behave this way.

Answer with questions - ‘did she hurt you or just annoy you?’ ‘Well, you’re big enough to handle that yourself. What are you going to do about it?’

To the mom tell her she needs to work WITH you to help her daughter self advocate and build resilience - life skills. If the mom keeps sending you these emails start responding with the exact same email (copy/paste) about building resilience and self-advocacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mom needs to give birth to a son, wait about 6 years, and then have an epiphany that boys are obnoxious and annoying.

Please don’t have children. You shine with mysogyny. We have enough of that crap in the world and enough people like you proliferating it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach 1st grade and I’ve encountered a problem I have never had before.

Child likes to “tattle” for everything. Obviously this is normal so we give them the tools to handle small problems on their own. Just today she reported that larlo was touching her chrombook. She let me know that she asked me to stop, and he did in fact stop. She insists on still telling me anyway. Unfortunately mom now is reporting on these little “tattles” to me. After school and email came about different student touched her backpack. Mom acknowledges that none of these things are a major concern and just normal kid stuff but she has promised her DD that she will always tell me anything she feels like needs to be shared with me. I get multiple emails a week about kids tapping pencils, chasing her on the playground, and even one email that said “larla said larlo called her a mean name but she cannot remember what it was.”

Ive talked to mom about helping her handle these problems on her own, and she said she really appreciates that but she wants to always give larla “the benefit of the doubt.”

Best book ever for this: Miles McHale Tattletale

[Anonymous]

Adding it does not imply shame for the tattler. It gives them parameters and a rhyming reminder that they can learn the Tattle Battle Pledge
" If a friend is sick, hurt, or in harm's way then telling someone is okay. Unless its sickness, danger, or bullying I see. I will mind my own business and worry about me."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard a standard recently that I really liked:

We tell adults to get someone OUT of trouble (they are in an unsafe situation, doing something dangerous, someone needs help, etc)

We shouldn’t tell adults to get someone IN trouble.

I think that’s a good standard for kids and perhaps you could explain that standard to your class and then to the parent as well.

No, sometimes people need to get someone else in trouble.

Assign “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” to the mom and kid. Much more accurate lesson in that.

When do you need to tattle to get someone in trouble that isn’t also getting someone else out of trouble?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask mom to come in for a meeting and at that meeting explain that pencil tapping and playground disagreement are normal for 1st grade, and we need to help students contend with them and be resilient while also teaching them what is really important for boundary-crossing. I might also consult the counselor to get their advice or offer their services to the child to develop strategies to 1.) cope and 2.) differentiate between what is important to fight and what is just a social interaction that you want to respond to by moving/ignoring/etc...

I would not do any of this. It’s just adding more attention. I would ignore as much as possible and not engage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is a public school, it’s fine to just not respond to every email from the mother. Maybe once every week or every other week said her one response saying you’ve received her messages and thank you for letting you know- that is it. She can email all she wants. But you don’t have to respond to everything.

Same goes for daughter. “Thanks for letting me know, now get back to your work.” Repeat as often as necessary. This is annoying for sure, but not a big deal that needs to involve an in person meeting or counseling

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually like the idea of the journal. You aren’t going to change her personality. Just have her write it down and you glance over it at the end of the week to make sure there is nothing major. And she’ll probably stop writing everything down pretty soon because she isn’t getting the instant little triumph of telling on someone that she’s looking for.

This works with complainers of all ages. Requesting that someone put something in writing shuts them down most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Remind her that snitches end up in ditches.

[Anonymous]

Hi Ms parent name,

OK. Thanks for letting me know.

Regards
teacher name

At some point you have to stop indulging this or they are going to continue doing it.

[Anonymous]

Tell the kid to sit down and be quiet. Tell the mom the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mom needs to give birth to a son, wait about 6 years, and then have an epiphany that boys are obnoxious and annoying.

Thank you for giving me a great laugh today.