What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t Sophie’s Choice! Football games don’t end next weekend. Can you go to another game?

No. He's a freshman and honestly we had no idea how tickets worked. We like football but on tv or high school games last year so we didn't anticipate how popular and the need to plan ahead, and we missed the boat on affordable tickets. This one would still be $200 for the two of us, but that's cheaper by a lot than any other games.

This sounds more like you want validation for not wanting to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t Sophie’s Choice! Football games don’t end next weekend. Can you go to another game?

No. He's a freshman and honestly we had no idea how tickets worked. We like football but on tv or high school games last year so we didn't anticipate how popular and the need to plan ahead, and we missed the boat on affordable tickets. This one would still be $200 for the two of us, but that's cheaper by a lot than any other games.

This sounds more like you want validation for not wanting to go.

Well sure, I don't want to go! Again, not because I don't want to see him (we're driving close to 6 extra hours this weekend just to see him) but because the drive is really overwhelming to do two weekends in a row. But if not going is going to be relationship damaging and it makes me a horrible mother, then I will suck it up and go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t Sophie’s Choice! Football games don’t end next weekend. Can you go to another game?

No. He's a freshman and honestly we had no idea how tickets worked. We like football but on tv or high school games last year so we didn't anticipate how popular and the need to plan ahead, and we missed the boat on affordable tickets. This one would still be $200 for the two of us, but that's cheaper by a lot than any other games.

This sounds more like you want validation for not wanting to go.

Well sure, I don't want to go! Again, not because I don't want to see him (we're driving close to 6 extra hours this weekend just to see him) but because the drive is really overwhelming to do two weekends in a row. But if not going is going to be relationship damaging and it makes me a horrible mother, then I will suck it up and go.

It's not horrible. Just talk to him when you see him this weekend. If he seems depressed and like he's asking because he needs you, consider going. If he's just asking you because he thinks it would be convenient/affordable to go the game or things he's doing you a favor, then just explain that the driving wipes you out and pick a different weekend. It's good he's reaching out and I do understand not wanting to say no to your kid, because how often does a kid that age ask to spend time with parents? But it can be worked out to be something more reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t Sophie’s Choice! Football games don’t end next weekend. Can you go to another game?

No. He's a freshman and honestly we had no idea how tickets worked. We like football but on tv or high school games last year so we didn't anticipate how popular and the need to plan ahead, and we missed the boat on affordable tickets. This one would still be $200 for the two of us, but that's cheaper by a lot than any other games.

This sounds more like you want validation for not wanting to go.

Well sure, I don't want to go! Again, not because I don't want to see him (we're driving close to 6 extra hours this weekend just to see him) but because the drive is really overwhelming to do two weekends in a row. But if not going is going to be relationship damaging and it makes me a horrible mother, then I will suck it up and go.

How can you not figure this out? This does not need to be crowd sourced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you feel bad for declining something you wouldn't even share in a meaningful way and which would add unwanted effort and expense to your life?

I don't quite understand the "feeling bad" premise here. I would just say no.

I feel guilty easily, and looking at the responses a lot of people seem to think it's terrible and I should go and feel guilty if I don't. In a vacuum, without having to already drive this weekend, we'd definitely go next weekend or would have gone to visit already but we had a lot going on with family which meant ds ended up coming for rather than us going.

A segment of DCUM loves to attack the OP. If you wanted to go they would say you are smothering him and stupid for catering to his whims. Read the advice with an open mind and make the best decision for you.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 3 hours away and I did that two weekends in a row. Once by myself and the with DH. She was struggling with settling in and I wanted to make sure she was okay. The second weekend was Parents Weekend. It was a lot.

I would say no to going two weekends in a row.

[Anonymous]

It is no big deal to miss this. Just say you aren’t up for traveling two weeks in a row but you are so excited to see home for thanksgiving break (or whenever you will see him). It is bizarre to me that you are agonizing over this. Unless he has some sort of serious home sickness or perhaps a mental health issue, I would not consider this.

[Anonymous]

Ask him which weekend he would rather have you there.

[Anonymous]

No, with zero regret.

[Anonymous]

I would go.

[Anonymous]

6.5 hours and he won’t be sitting with you? No way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are going to an event (not a fun one, an obligation) this weekend about 2.5 hours away from ds's college (who is 6 + hours away from us), so are going to drive the day after and meet him for lunch on Sunday. Ds texted me to ask if we wanted to go to the football game the weekend after. It is so much driving and we have to find a pet sitter again and we don't have a burning desire to go to the game (if it were close, we'd go of course). How guilty would you feel and would you just suck it up and go? It's not a case of him being lonely. He has lots of friends and has adjusted well. He also wouldn't sit with us at the game as he'd be in the student section...But I feel so bad! Help me out. Other games later in the season are not an option as they are very expensive.

Just him extra tight, take a nice gift for him and let him know that y'all are getting too old to overstretch your selves too much on one trip.

[Anonymous]

*hug him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go if he was sitting with us. If he's in the student section, then no.

This or you get a very firm commitment from him for dinner after the game. Even then, I think it’s fine to decline because you’ll be there this weekend.