Divorced girl friends are more attractive than married ones

[Anonymous]

I think very attractive people actually have a harder time in all relationships because their looks open many doors and they can't always sustain the work that it takes to keep it all spinning. That is not to say that it's their fault, the lookism culture is what does it. I have 3 female children who are now adults. None are unattractive, but one is uncommonly beautiful and exceptional in coloring, symmetry, bone structure, the whole nine yards. I have watched her entire life how the world has reacted to her, and I do not just mean boys or men. Everyone weighs in on some level. She turns heads.

And, it's been her biggest disability. It means checks are written that, really, she cannot always cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am single, not divorced, late forties.

I feel like there was a time in my late thirties/early forties when I looked way better than a lot of women my age. And I started attracting better looking men. Like, as compares to my peers, I was better looking at 42 compared to other 42 years than I was at 25 compared to other 25 year olds.

Now I have been in a relationship for several years and I don't feel that way anymore. In some ways, I feel like I actually look worse than a lot of my peers.

I think I was maybe more conscious of my looks, weight, clothes in my early forties because I as actively dating rather than in a relationship. It is easier to let your guard down when you are in a relationship.

This is logical. 40s is when many women's looks go down hill isn't it? If women are trying harder at this age in preparation for divorce or after divorce they would stand out as more attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

A friend and I noticed this. We are both "cute" in the sense that we are thin and take care of our hair and skin but not naturally pretty. But we know a few women who are just stunning -- big wide set eyes, tiny chin and nose, perfectly symmetrical -- and ALL of them are married to d bags. How does that happen?

Do men care about big wide set eyes and tiny chins and noses?

In the sense it tends translate into a more feminine look than a strong jawline and prominent nose.

I had a gorgeous friend who always had bad boyfriends. The more normal men didn't approach her as much or weren't as full of fake charm as the losers she would pick.

[Anonymous]

I know a few recently divorced and they really upped their game looks-wise. Lost weight, working out, better makeup and clothes. They know they have to compete I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my 40s and married. Have noticed that a lot of my friends or coworkers who are divorced are much more attractive than the ones who are married. They didn't suddenly become pretty after divorce. Marriage is going through a rocky time and I'm noticing because it feels like DH has a lot of choices at this age. In therapy so I recognize this is my insecurity but are others noticing the same thing and why could this be the case? If anything I'd think it would be the other way around.

Prettier people have farther to fall when their looks start fading, so they can be more insecure and desperate for validation.

Prettier people also get more attention from the opposite sex, so they have more to resist and more opportunity to cheat.

So prettier people tend to get divorced more.

[Anonymous]

Pretty white women really suffer post menopause. They go from being on top of the world to being almost invisible. In terms of physical attraction, aging is easier for Asian, black, Latinaz middle Eastern women.

[Anonymous]

This isn't rocket science. Your divorced friends are likely putting more effort into their appearance because they are single. They aren't going to get male attention if they are frumpy. There might also be an element of wanting to make their exes sorry for what they are missing--the whole post-divorce glow-up/revenge makeover is a thing for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty white women really suffer post menopause. They go from being on top of the world to being almost invisible. In terms of physical attraction, aging is easier for Asian, black, Latinaz middle Eastern women.

Not even close to true, but keep telling yourself that.

It's about genetics overall, but not just "race". You are just trolling for racism.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of people struggle in a marriage to have time to themselves and stop working on marriages. They let themselves go and get frumpy. It’s not hard to take care of yourself when you have kids for only 50% of the time and have free time to workout. Cooking dinner every night for kids is draining too.

This goes for men too. There are a lot of men who’d still be married if they worked on themselves and their marriages, but didnt realize it until after they were already divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty white women really suffer post menopause. They go from being on top of the world to being almost invisible. In terms of physical attraction, aging is easier for Asian, black, Latinaz middle Eastern women.

Not even close to true, but keep telling yourself that.

It's about genetics overall, but not just "race". You are just trolling for racism.

NP. I would have said it’s about overall care and lifestyle- it starts to catch up. But if you are going to say genetics than PP has a point. We are used to seeing aging on white people. Non-white people age too but since it’s not as commonly understood, people don’t focus on those details as much. (Eg, melasma versus wrinkles).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

IME 1-2 ("Attractive women are less afraid" and "Attractive women have higher self esteem") are true for the women I know who initiate divorce. They aren't all necessarily off the charts beautiful, but they are pretty enough to probably get hit on even if they are in their 40s. I know people pile on when some women on these boards claim they look 10 years younger than they are but IRL I definitely know such women.

Who are using for the average 40 year old? That’s the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't rocket science. Your divorced friends are likely putting more effort into their appearance because they are single. They aren't going to get male attention if they are frumpy. There might also be an element of wanting to make their exes sorry for what they are missing--the whole post-divorce glow-up/revenge makeover is a thing for a reason.

There's also a mom factor here. Divorced women with joint custody agreements get the kind of time away from being moms that married women never get. Especially in a bad marriage where the husband isn't pulling his weight with the kids, sometimes moms just give up themselves to motherhood and their appearance goes along with it -- practical clothes and hair that is conducive to parenting duties and don't require tons of maintenance, always more focused on helping others get out the door than taking that extra care with their appearance, and limited time to workout or engage in other self-care that improves appearance.

My divorced friends are just leading very different lifestyles to mine even when we have same-age kids, because they are now splitting time between solo parenting and then single, childless life. It changes your priorities and definitely encourages/enables more and different focus on your appearance.

[Anonymous]

I get the argument about time and effort but the women I know have been way above average in beauty the whole time I have known them, from 20s to 40s. Maybe they were always putting in more effort

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty white women really suffer post menopause. They go from being on top of the world to being almost invisible. In terms of physical attraction, aging is easier for Asian, black, Latinaz middle Eastern women.

Not even close to true, but keep telling yourself that.

It's about genetics overall, but not just "race". You are just trolling for racism.

NP. I would have said it’s about overall care and lifestyle- it starts to catch up. But if you are going to say genetics than PP has a point. We are used to seeing aging on white people. Non-white people age too but since it’s not as commonly understood, people don’t focus on those details as much. (Eg, melasma versus wrinkles).

White is not a homogenous group genetically speaking, racist.
Hispanic is not a homogenious group genetically speaking, racist.
Black is not a homogenous group genetically speaking, racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pretty white women really suffer post menopause. They go from being on top of the world to being almost invisible. In terms of physical attraction, aging is easier for Asian, black, Latinaz middle Eastern women.

Not even close to true, but keep telling yourself that.

It's about genetics overall, but not just "race". You are just trolling for racism.

NP. I would have said it’s about overall care and lifestyle- it starts to catch up. But if you are going to say genetics than PP has a point. We are used to seeing aging on white people. Non-white people age too but since it’s not as commonly understood, people don’t focus on those details as much. (Eg, melasma versus wrinkles).

White is not a homogenous group genetically speaking, racist.
Hispanic is not a homogenious group genetically speaking, racist.
Black is not a homogenous group genetically speaking, racist.

NP. Chill. The more melanated you are, the more youthful you look compared to lighter skinned people as you age. But I will say I don’t know how pale Asians do it. Not that much melanin but they also stay out of the sun their whole lives whereas whites in western society tan purposely all the time. Genes are a thing.
Signed, middle aged white lady who knows I don’t look as youthful as my Black and Asian friends.