Divorced girl friends are more attractive than married ones

[Anonymous]

In my 40s and married. Have noticed that a lot of my friends or coworkers who are divorced are much more attractive than the ones who are married. They didn't suddenly become pretty after divorce. Marriage is going through a rocky time and I'm noticing because it feels like DH has a lot of choices at this age. In therapy so I recognize this is my insecurity but are others noticing the same thing and why could this be the case? If anything I'd think it would be the other way around.

[Anonymous]

You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

[Anonymous]

In my circle, it's the nicest women (but still smart with high expectations) whose husbands ended up cheating, leading to divorce. My conclusion is the husbands were lazy, opportunistic, and got tired of doing the work of being in a long-term relationship.

One of these husbands really FAFOed. His life is much worse now from a financial and respect standpoint. Maybe he doesn't care because he has a younger, skinnier AP wife. That he met at church. Also married with kids!!!

The lives of rich people and celebrities tells us that anyone can get cheated on. No matter how attractive, rich, or powerful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

This seems plausible. Of the neighbors I have who are divorced, they all immediately had new boyfriends. In fact I'm sure one of them got with the guy before the divorce.
I can't imagine wanting a new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

I like theory 4: ugly women work harder to keep husbands happy.

I also think ugly women work harder to be interesting.

Ugly women also have more time to do activities that have nothing to do with dating, which makes them more interesting.

This may apply to ugly men too..

[Anonymous]

Are the husbands are more attractive than average too? Maybe it makes them more likely to cheat?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

Yeah, my beautiful friends had to work harder in dating to figure out if a guy was into them because of just their looks. They attracted a lot more superficial guys than us mediocre lookers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

Yeah, my beautiful friends had to work harder in dating to figure out if a guy was into them because of just their looks. They attracted a lot more superficial guys than us mediocre lookers.

I don’t buy this. They could have searched for values and depth too. I have lots of beautiful friends who married well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

Yeah, my beautiful friends had to work harder in dating to figure out if a guy was into them because of just their looks. They attracted a lot more superficial guys than us mediocre lookers.

I don’t buy this. They could have searched for values and depth too. I have lots of beautiful friends who married well.

They did. Nowhere did I say they didn't. They just hard to work harder to filter out more shallow guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

all interesting theories, but in my experience the vast majority of beautiful and hot women are happily married to non-misogynistic men. fortunately my wife is one of them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want some theories?

1. Attractive women are less afraid to divorce because they are more likely to catch another partner once they’re single.

2. Attractive women have higher self esteem so they’ll leave.

3. Attractive women have low self esteem because they have always been judged by looks so they marry the first guy that is kind to them but end up divorced.

4. Ugly women work harder to keep their husbands happy.

5. Attractive women attract shallow men, making it less likely they’ll have a good relationship.

6. Men who choose attractive women are more likely to be misogynists.

7. Insert random misogynistic reason

all interesting theories, but in my experience the vast majority of beautiful and hot women are happily married to non-misogynistic men. fortunately my wife is one of them!

Most men are misogynistic just FYI. Most women carry internalized misogyny too. Unless you know someone who was raised on Mars, that’s just factual.

[Anonymous]

Women divorce when they can afford to so they have more money and more money means better clothes, care, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s that the husbands of pretty women tend to be jerks, because they prioritize looks.

A friend and I noticed this. We are both "cute" in the sense that we are thin and take care of our hair and skin but not naturally pretty. But we know a few women who are just stunning -- big wide set eyes, tiny chin and nose, perfectly symmetrical -- and ALL of them are married to d bags. How does that happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women divorce when they can afford to so they have more money and more money means better clothes, care, etc.

This! Most divorces are initiated by women who have planned it for a long time and can afford to divorce. They have also been planning said divorce for a long time, so they probably have been working on themselves, too.