How to tell teen her essay topic sucks?

[Anonymous]

Did she ask? If not, hush.

If she did, how long since you read it? Are you leaving her to stew while you ask DCUM?

"The writing is really good, so I've been trying to figure out why it feels like it's missing something, and I think I'm worried that you're not giving a sense of you, specifically. Is that why X and Y told you to give more personal details?"

[Anonymous]

Use a bad news sandwich:

“You’ve worked really hard on your essay but I’m concerned the topic doesn’t fit the rest of your application. You should either add more vulnerability or pick a new topic (or whatever). It doesn’t highlight what makes you an awesome & unique candidate for their school.”

It is ultimately her journey so if she’s like “suck it, old lady”, I’d drop it.

[Anonymous]

If it’s Harry Potter, tell her not a good idea because it’s been done to death. If it’s something else, help her make it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

That sounds like an age gap talking. Is it cheesy or just young? Does it make it believable that she wrote her own essay?

A lot of the recommended essays sound like a kid introspecting way deeper on a topic than they ever would in real life. They sprinkle in a lot of pretentious b.s. - advanced vocabulary, emotional words, etc. It looks artful and reads well but is pretty ridiculous when you boil it down. Somebody on DCUM had AI make a fake one for a fake girl that immigrated from Ukraine, was precocious, had language learning thoughts, then new language learning difficulties, then wanted to be a language major at HYP. It sounded and flowed really well but had some major logic flaws if you stopped to ponder it. And at the core it was cheesy though it didn't immediately hit that way. Real or AI, a lot sound cheesy. Do you know the state of play?

Maybe this topic isn't off track in context of the competition or in terms of complying with basic tropes of "excellent" essays.

Watch this video and think some more before you comment.

[Anonymous]

The most I would say as a parent is something like “what are you trying to convey about yourself here?” Otherwise, see if she can shop it around to more trusted adults outside the family. You are too emotionally attached to the process and your opinion might not be as widely shared as you presume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

Okay, on this one I can help, my kid did a short answer essay that keyed off a favorite childhood book. His high school counselor said, "sweet, but trite," very common and they aren't looking to admit 4 year old you. She went on to list other topics/themes that have the same problems- 1) high school athletics interrupted by injury and 2) my grandma/grandpa is my hero (they also aren't looking to admit your grandpa). I wouldn't have thought of it that way but it made sense, they are trying to understand/compare 17 year old to see how they might grow and contribute in a field of other 17/18 YO's so topics highlight childhood or other people rather than current/future person are starting off at a big disadvantage. Sorry your school counselor didn't help you out on this one

[Anonymous]

I think most parents initially think their kids common app essay sucks. BUT, this is a different kind of writing assignment. Regardless of the topic, make sure there is self reflection, self awareness and that it shares something about your kid's character...in their own voice. True story- last year, my husband and I cringed at our kid's essay. They did everything we were warned against...mentioned overcoming a cliche disappointment, mentioned grandma, etc. But it was actually kind of sweet amd really did illustrate her kindness, openness, etc. We did coach kid and gave feedback - asked them to think about the WHY they did what they did or WHY they had specific thoughts. Essay improved at the margins. The essay was authentic and not overly polished. I think that was good. Kid was accepted ED to an ivy.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the idea sounds terrible and there’s a certain degree of cringe in all of them. Can you frame it as you read some good advice about working backwards and making sure the essay tells the AO exactly what they want to know about them and why they make a good addition? Any tweaks to make it more this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

That sounds like an age gap talking. Is it cheesy or just young? Does it make it believable that she wrote her own essay?

A lot of the recommended essays sound like a kid introspecting way deeper on a topic than they ever would in real life. They sprinkle in a lot of pretentious b.s. - advanced vocabulary, emotional words, etc. It looks artful and reads well but is pretty ridiculous when you boil it down. Somebody on DCUM had AI make a fake one for a fake girl that immigrated from Ukraine, was precocious, had language learning thoughts, then new language learning difficulties, then wanted to be a language major at HYP. It sounded and flowed really well but had some major logic flaws if you stopped to ponder it. And at the core it was cheesy though it didn't immediately hit that way. Real or AI, a lot sound cheesy. Do you know the state of play?

Maybe this topic isn't off track in context of the competition or in terms of complying with basic tropes of "excellent" essays.

Watch this video and think some more before you comment.

A little bit of emotional heft/innocent candor works wonders. Remember your audience (largely liberal/female/humanities majors)....read as many of the NYT essays as you can. You will see why they worked.
My kid followed that model. The goal was emotional resonance in the small moments. Got into many T20s and lots of merit elsewhere, as a test-optional candidate. Several personalized notes about the essay.

[Anonymous]

My kids essay stunk! She decided to be independent and to write it and not get any input from us and it was what it was. That said her grades and test scores were good and she still got into a good university. So it all ended up OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is going to be mad and cry.

But it's really really bad. Her grades/SATs/rigor are tippity top. Her essay is terrible and doesn't say that much about her.

Do we just rip the bandaid and tell her? Any tips on phrasing or what to say?

Your use of stupid cliches and annoying phrases indicates you shouldn't be giving anyone writing advice.

[Anonymous]

Step up and pay a professional for their opinion.

Don't be an a** to your kid about the topic. It is one thing to do it early on in the process but now it is too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

This is basically the extra essay for UGA. If she’s applying there, you could help her decide to write a new personal statement and then use the existing essay for Georgia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most I would say as a parent is something like “what are you trying to convey about yourself here?” Otherwise, see if she can shop it around to more trusted adults outside the family. You are too emotionally attached to the process and your opinion might not be as widely shared as you presume.

OP here. I actually think you boiled down my biggest objection. She doesn't say that much about herself, and what she does say is not very personal or introspective. I think she needs to talk less about the book series and instead just use it to introduce the rest of what she wants to say, then circle back to it at the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us the topic.

OP here. I won't get specific, but she mentions a popular childhood book series she enjoyed. And she relates it back to her own life in a cheesy way. I can't think of a way to make it less cheesy, and I also don't think it relates to her life in a in a helpful or interesting way.

The actual writing/grammar is fine. The college counselor and teacher had her add more personal details, but I think the topic is just really cringey.

We had a kid who did that at our high school and got into every single ivy. The English dept uses it as the sample admissions essay now at the school.

Perhaps your daughter attend that school, and is trying to emulate the sample essay, when what made that one special was that it was unique and represented who the original writer was.