How to tell teen her essay topic sucks?

[Anonymous]

She is going to be mad and cry.

But it's really really bad. Her grades/SATs/rigor are tippity top. Her essay is terrible and doesn't say that much about her.

Do we just rip the bandaid and tell her? Any tips on phrasing or what to say?

[Anonymous]

I'd have her show it to her counselor or English teacher or whoever she has to review her essay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd have her show it to her counselor or English teacher or whoever she has to review her essay.

She has, to both of those people. They have made edits/suggestions but neither has said that the actual topic stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is going to be mad and cry.

But it's really really bad. Her grades/SATs/rigor are tippity top. Her essay is terrible and doesn't say that much about her.

Do we just rip the bandaid and tell her? Any tips on phrasing or what to say?

OMG just tell her it sucks! Do you really tread that lightly around your kid??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd have her show it to her counselor or English teacher or whoever she has to review her essay.

She has, to both of those people. They have made edits/suggestions but neither has said that the actual topic stinks.

Have you considered, then, that maybe you are wrong?

[Anonymous]

No. You don’t tell her. It’s her journey.

[Anonymous]

help her think about reframing it...give concrete suggestions. don't tell her it sucks.

[Anonymous]

It’s not very helpful to say the topic sucks. Pick out the line that you like the best in the essay or a moment that comes closest to saying something about who she is. Praise it and suggest she build on that.

Also, if you have essay ideas for her, suggest them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is going to be mad and cry.

But it's really really bad. Her grades/SATs/rigor are tippity top. Her essay is terrible and doesn't say that much about her.

Do we just rip the bandaid and tell her? Any tips on phrasing or what to say?

OMG just tell her it sucks! Do you really tread that lightly around your kid??

She's very sensitive you meanie!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is going to be mad and cry.

But it's really really bad. Her grades/SATs/rigor are tippity top. Her essay is terrible and doesn't say that much about her.

Do we just rip the bandaid and tell her? Any tips on phrasing or what to say?

OMG just tell her it sucks! Do you really tread that lightly around your kid??

Not OP, but telling your kid their essay sucks at this point is not a good look. I would definitely tread that lightly around my own kid.

[Anonymous]

Tell us the topic.

[Anonymous]

If she's a top student as you say, I assume she's applying to some selective schools that require multiple essays?

Tell her to table this one and try a different topic as well. Sometimes it takes 2-3 tries to hit on something that just works. Maybe pieces of the original essay can be used for a supplemental, so tell her that it's well written, has a great tone(whatever compliment are true) but feels more supplemental and it would be worth trying another take just to see what comes out.

[Anonymous]

Can you reverse engineer finding an internet post that advises against the topic? It's more hurtful coming purely from a parent.

My son had to tell a friend not to cover a "house divided" sports rivalry theme in her "'Why School X" essay. Stale, obvious, common and also unappealing to people who don't care about sports. Really bad. She listened. Although with great surprise. Happy ending. She is at School X.

This forum repeatedly covers how to deal with mental health, disabilities, challenges in essays. There is no consensus and participants never seem fully satisfied with those awkward discussions and their implications about truth telling, being authentic, etc. However, individual families hopefully share some common frameworks on what is authentic and what is cringy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is going to be mad and cry.

But it's really really bad. Her grades/SATs/rigor are tippity top. Her essay is terrible and doesn't say that much about her.

Do we just rip the bandaid and tell her? Any tips on phrasing or what to say?

OMG just tell her it sucks! Do you really tread that lightly around your kid??

Not OP, but telling your kid their essay sucks at this point is not a good look. I would definitely tread that lightly around my own kid.

You clearly aren't Asian! I tell my fat lazy son that he is fat and lazy every day. Be strong and tell your child to rewrite her stupid essay.

[Anonymous]

I'd stay out of it unless she asks you. Not your lane.

Yes, DCUM Snowplow Parents, this may mean she goes to a college 25 slots lower in UNWR rankings than she might have (gasp!!)

Your relationship with your daughter, her independence, and her own pride in earning her place in college with her efforts are all worth way more.