Concerned about neighbor—advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PLEASE CALL POLICE FOR A WELFARE CHECK. They will get her family contacts and permission to break in if necessary. She could be laying in there disabled and unable to use phone to call for help. She could be laying in there dead.

I’m a former prosecutor by the way, for what that’s worth.

Better to apologize later for being too vigilant than to leave her dying or rotting in there. Police will take full responsibility for whatever happens after you call them and share exactly what you said in your OP.

But be prepared to never have the same relationship. I would be so pissed if I was legitimately out of town and had made proper arrangements for my pet’s care, and a neighbor called the police because I didn’t inform her, as if I had to do that before leaving town!

I should think if you were a single woman living alone (like I have been much of my adult life) you would get over it and forgive a concerned neighbor’s call to police, especially if you’d made a habit of letting her know when you traveled and the house was vacant. She isn’t picking up phone or responding to texts, which I should think she’d do if able. Unless she’s hiking someplace sans cell phone or signal.

I was just going to say this. And OP I think it's really human and kind of you to be concerned....there is so little of it these days. She is lucky to have someone in the neighborhood looking out for her.

[Anonymous]

Please let us know how it goes - all of DCUM is worried!

[Anonymous]

I’m a police dispatcher. I’ve put in 2 welfare checks today. Both were unfounded but worthy of being checked on.
Call your non emergency number.

[Anonymous]

OP it's good of you to be concerned.

Please update!

[Anonymous]

Welfare check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave a note on the doors, she may have someone coming to check the animals while she is away. If nobody responds in a week call the popo

This is a good idea. Leave a note that says "hi Karen, I haven't seen you in a while and am starting to get concerned. Please let me know if everything is okay. P.S. If you are a pet sitter, can you please knock on my door and let me know or leave a note back, there is a pen under the mat."

[Anonymous]

I have a single colleague who didn’t show up for work two days in a row around the holidays. We’re friendly so I repeatedly called her and texted her and at the end of the second day the HR rep agreed a welfare check was in order. Turns out she’d called out sick with Covid to the “big” boss who was out of town and forgot to tell the rest of us. I still think it was the right thing to check on her.

[Anonymous]

DO NOT call police. Never a good idea.

Be a little more aggressive in summoning her to the door if you want, check in all the windows if you want.

Give it a few more days at least.

[Anonymous]

An elderly neighbor fell last week in her bedroom and was unable to get to a phone or other wise call for help. Her cleaners found her on Friday morning and she is now hospitalized with dehydration, a UTI, and pneumonia (her brother and sister-in-law were at the house today and volunteered the info). Please do a welfare check.

[Anonymous]

Op, any update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, any update?

The cat ate her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, any update?

The cat ate her.

What about the dog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, any update?

The cat ate her.

What about the dog?

Gosh you're so witty.

OP - Please let us know what happened. And if you haven't heard from your neighbor and still debating what to do, please take action. Better safe than sorry.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been in this situation several times before- and acting fast (but not prematurely) is a fine balance. a few things:

(1) as PP who is a former prosecutor said, the police will NOT show up and break down her door. They will knock on the door, check the property, check for signs of activity, check local hospitals, try to get in touch with relatives. They would only go in (in the least damaging way possible- e.g. try to go in through an open window) if thy have significant evidence that your neighbor is inside and in trouble and needs help urgently. So you do not have to worry she will be pissed at you for damage to her door.

(2) It’s been several days- even if your neighbor was out of town, she would be able to return a call or a text. This situation is highly concerning. Please check with other neighbors to see if they have any intel, and if not, call for a welfare check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, any update?

The cat ate her.

What about the dog?

Gosh you're so witty.

OP - Please let us know what happened. And if you haven't heard from your neighbor and still debating what to do, please take action. Better safe than sorry.

Thanks! Glad you are so impressed by me anon, but save the praise. I get enough of that from average people already.