Can we wrap a mini-vacation around this funeral or is it insensitive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it but don't talk about it during the funeral or to those who might be sensitive

Thank you. We would be completely discrete about it.

But will you be discreet?

[Anonymous]

Like celebrating her death?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it but don't talk about it during the funeral or to those who might be sensitive

+1 this is totally fine. Just don’t discuss it. Be honest if asked, but low key it. Don’t gush about the most amazing sushi you’ve ever had.

NP. Oh wait, I just got it…OP wants to post all her vacay pics on Instagram, and now she either won’t be able to, or might get some blowback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it but don't talk about it during the funeral or to those who might be sensitive

*1 but the very fact that you have to ask about it makes me question whether or not you can pull this off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do what you need to do. I took my kids to Disneyland Paris after the funeral of my young BIL in the same city. It was heartbreaking, he was too young to die, and my kids needed the boost. My MIL made a comment, but I think everyone understood. And my MIL is a nice person and after that one comment didn't hold a grudge. She knows I loved her youngest son like a brother.

Your children’s uncle died and you celebrated?

PP you replied to. You're really trolling hard. My BIL was a youthful, fun-loving person, and he would have totally approved his little niece and nephew going to Disney after the funeral. We miss him every day. Brain tumors are horrible.

I am not actually! It’s terrible to do that! Did you force your husband to join the festivities too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH’s great uncle just passed away on the West Coast. There will be a traditional funeral next week for loved ones who live west of the Mississippi and then a memorial service next month for family and friends east of the Mississippi and overseas.

We live on the East Coast. Next month will be very packed with school and other obligations. However, right now, my children are home from college and I am off work. DH works from home.

Is it awful to wrap a mini-vacation around this funeral, leaving two days for the evening wake and the Mass and interment the next morning?

We could fly in, do 1.5-2 days of sightseeing beforehand and then have 1.5-2 days to drive up North to see that area before flying home.

As long as you are discrete, quiet, and don't skip any obligations it is not insensitive or anyone's business what you're doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do what you need to do. I took my kids to Disneyland Paris after the funeral of my young BIL in the same city. It was heartbreaking, he was too young to die, and my kids needed the boost. My MIL made a comment, but I think everyone understood. And my MIL is a nice person and after that one comment didn't hold a grudge. She knows I loved her youngest son like a brother.

Your children’s uncle died and you celebrated?

PP you replied to. You're really trolling hard. My BIL was a youthful, fun-loving person, and he would have totally approved his little niece and nephew going to Disney after the funeral. We miss him every day. Brain tumors are horrible.

I am not actually! It’s terrible to do that! Did you force your husband to join the festivities too?

If the fam was OK with it, you, a total stranger, don't get a say. And yes, at this point, you're trolling. Also, maybe you don't want that experience, hmm? Of what looks like a premature death and everyone is devastated, and someone thinks of the kids and brings them to a fun spot to distract them for a bit. You don't know how you'd have reacted in those shoes. You should have more humility in your thought process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine - but as others have said, be quiet about it. Don't make it seem like the funeral is getting in the way of your fun. and make sure others don't have plans for you.

Thank you.

Any ideas about how to word that we will be available for about 24 hours without lying or letting the cat out of the bag?

I think you are really overthinking this. I wouldn't say a word about how long you'll be available.

[Anonymous]

It’s DISCREET.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do what you need to do. I took my kids to Disneyland Paris after the funeral of my young BIL in the same city. It was heartbreaking, he was too young to die, and my kids needed the boost. My MIL made a comment, but I think everyone understood. And my MIL is a nice person and after that one comment didn't hold a grudge. She knows I loved her youngest son like a brother.

Your children’s uncle died and you celebrated?

PP you replied to. You're really trolling hard. My BIL was a youthful, fun-loving person, and he would have totally approved his little niece and nephew going to Disney after the funeral. We miss him every day. Brain tumors are horrible.

I am not actually! It’s terrible to do that! Did you force your husband to join the festivities too?

If the fam was OK with it, you, a total stranger, don't get a say. And yes, at this point, you're trolling. Also, maybe you don't want that experience, hmm? Of what looks like a premature death and everyone is devastated, and someone thinks of the kids and brings them to a fun spot to distract them for a bit. You don't know how you'd have reacted in those shoes. You should have more humility in your thought process.

Then why the F did OP ask??

Dp

[Anonymous]

I think it is fine. For sure wouldn’t talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s DISCREET.

+1, this is making me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine - but as others have said, be quiet about it. Don't make it seem like the funeral is getting in the way of your fun. and make sure others don't have plans for you.

Thank you.

Any ideas about how to word that we will be available for about 24 hours without lying or letting the cat out of the bag?

Can you do the trip the other way around? Funeral first, then mini vacation?

[Anonymous]

Sure, just don't talk all about it during the funeral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it but don't talk about it during the funeral or to those who might be sensitive

This. Just don't share.