Can we wrap a mini-vacation around this funeral or is it insensitive?

[Anonymous]

Who needs to know? But really, who would judge? Hell, when I flew across the country for my own mother's funeral, you bet I got together with friends, hung out with cousins (aside from at the cemetery), etc. I don't feel guilty at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine - but as others have said, be quiet about it. Don't make it seem like the funeral is getting in the way of your fun. and make sure others don't have plans for you.

Thank you.

Any ideas about how to word that we will be available for about 24 hours without lying or letting the cat out of the bag?

We plan on being there for the funeral from x until y

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you got the advice you needed, but I just want to say I agree. And I don't think anyone would expect you to hop on a long flight like that and immediately go home. I am sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

It was anticipated given his age, but still sad to say goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Funerals of beloved elderly people are great get togethers in my experience, and I think it makes perfect sense combine it with a family vacation. Both things are about reinforcing community and making lasting memories.

[Anonymous]

We've done it, and it was early days of social media (before social media was such a big deal - like 2009 or something), and we posted a few small posts. Mostly along the lines of, we're sorry it took such a sad circumsance to get us here, but enjoying this peaceful view or something like that. Actually we posted before the trip, as I recall now, we had to do some complicated travel that left us with a day in a specific city to get cheap fares (20 years ago, we were broke 20 somethings). So we posted before hand imagine circumstances mean you have a free day in X city, what would you do? And then we posted us doing one-two of the recommendations, with the sad reasons brought us her, but glad we can see whatever it was. (and we had also posted the obit so were not vague posting about the sadness).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do what you need to do. I took my kids to Disneyland Paris after the funeral of my young BIL in the same city. It was heartbreaking, he was too young to die, and my kids needed the boost. My MIL made a comment, but I think everyone understood. And my MIL is a nice person and after that one comment didn't hold a grudge. She knows I loved her youngest son like a brother.

Your children’s uncle died and you celebrated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do what you need to do. I took my kids to Disneyland Paris after the funeral of my young BIL in the same city. It was heartbreaking, he was too young to die, and my kids needed the boost. My MIL made a comment, but I think everyone understood. And my MIL is a nice person and after that one comment didn't hold a grudge. She knows I loved her youngest son like a brother.

Your children’s uncle died and you celebrated?

You’re upset that young children didn’t have to be immersed in their adult relatives’ grief 24/7?

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is a mini-vacation. It's some family togetherness during a sad time.

[Anonymous]

Jesus OP you’re making something out of nothing. No one will care. They will just be glad you came. You can even tell people you tacked on a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it but don't talk about it during the funeral or to those who might be sensitive

+1 this is totally fine. Just don’t discuss it. Be honest if asked, but low key it. Don’t gush about the most amazing sushi you’ve ever had.

[Anonymous]

I would do all the vacationing after the funeral matters. Unless the arrival was truly dictated by flight prices.

[Anonymous]

My parents live in a popular tourist area. When my dad died, I know several people who turned it into a family vacation. Was not an issue for me. In fact, a couple friends/family members went to my dad's favorite places and had a "toast" to him. One of my favorite pictures is of my best friend since childhood and her family at my dad's favorite ice cream place all eating his favorite sundae.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do what you need to do. I took my kids to Disneyland Paris after the funeral of my young BIL in the same city. It was heartbreaking, he was too young to die, and my kids needed the boost. My MIL made a comment, but I think everyone understood. And my MIL is a nice person and after that one comment didn't hold a grudge. She knows I loved her youngest son like a brother.

Your children’s uncle died and you celebrated?

PP you replied to. You're really trolling hard. My BIL was a youthful, fun-loving person, and he would have totally approved his little niece and nephew going to Disney after the funeral. We miss him every day. Brain tumors are horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it but don't talk about it during the funeral or to those who might be sensitive

This. I would not talk about it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it but don't talk about it during the funeral or to those who might be sensitive

Thank you. We would be completely discrete about it.

these things find a way to get out at some point. be careful.