What’s going on here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s not ok. He’s being a jerk. Set your boundaries and be firm. Model self respect and self advocating for your kids. They are learning from the two of you.

+1.
So you sit queit while your DH says these things in front of your kids? Come on OP!

The older one sort of cocked her head and looked at me wide eyed when he said that. I didn’t want to get into a whole thing in front of the kids.

How will they learn that it's not okay for him to talk to you like that if you don't " get into a whole thing " in front of them? They are watching and learning.

+1
This child learned a) its ok to talk to your spouse this way and b) dont make a fuss if your spouse talks to you this way.

Horrible example on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Even with no affair, it's clear that he has complete contempt for you, and no marriage can survive that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hes cheating on you and needs to make you the bad guy in his mind.

Or hiding something. Money related? Work ir business related? Legal related?

[Anonymous]

What’s going on here?

Troll post. Thats what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even with no affair, it's clear that he has complete contempt for you, and no marriage can survive that.

This was also my takeaway. Regardless of the cause, he has contempt for you, and I'm not sure you can return from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three weeks ago, my husband said out loud in front of our children that the reason he and I don’t have any friends is because of me. We do have a couple of shared friends, and we each have our own as well, so I’m not really sure where that came from.

Two weeks ago, during a moment of frustration, I heard him mutter “f&$king worthless” under his breath when I couldn’t find something.

Last night, while we were walking after dinner, he called me a weakling for reasons that didn’t really make any sense. We had been walking through this really upscale part of town then made a few turns and the street got pretty congested and loud. I said, “I don’t really want to go this way,” but I didn’t stop—I just made an out-loud observation. I wasn’t carrying anything or doing anything strenuous; we were just walking. I immediately let go of his hand and walked a few steps ahead to catch up with my kids who were ahead of us.

I really don’t know what’s going on here and I don’t know where to start even talking to him about this.

Affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hes cheating on you and needs to make you the bad guy in his mind.

I didn’t want to cloud my first post with this information but I suppose it is really important.
He had a year and a half long emotional affair, it was all online but they would tell each other I love you. That ended and things have been improving but there’s still something really wrong here.

He wishes his life was different, indulges in escapism, and blames you for his unhappiness.

He does replay the past where he says he made a compromise but if he stayed the course he would be wealthy/successful/happy/whatever.
His options are currently wide open but he sees everything like he missed the train and is just stuck in this life, he’s not stuck he can do whatever he wants with my full support.
We aren’t rich but we have a really nice life, healthy children and a nice home.

He wants a life with everything but you. Remove your head from the sand and make a plan.

[Anonymous]

he sounds awful. if my dh called me worthless I would never forget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hes cheating on you and needs to make you the bad guy in his mind.

When it has never happened before and then starts happening regularly, 100% cheating. It kind of blows me away that men who have never crossed each other's paths behave the exact same way when cheating.

[Anonymous]

The friend/social life comment was ridiculous. What prompted that comment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The friend/social life comment was ridiculous. What prompted that comment?

Memorial Day, one of the kids asked what we were doing and we didn’t have plans so he just blurted that out. Like it was my fault that we didn’t have multiple invitations to go to someone’s backyard for Memorial Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The friend/social life comment was ridiculous. What prompted that comment?

Memorial Day, one of the kids asked what we were doing and we didn’t have plans so he just blurted that out. Like it was my fault that we didn’t have multiple invitations to go to someone’s backyard for Memorial Day.

Ugh. Very rude & unnecessary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hes cheating on you and needs to make you the bad guy in his mind.

When it has never happened before and then starts happening regularly, 100% cheating. It kind of blows me away that men who have never crossed each other's paths behave the exact same way when cheating.

It's textbook and so transparent. They have to literally gaslight themselves to make them not the villain in their story.

[Anonymous]

Have you always had such low self esteem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you always had such low self esteem

No, this is relatively new.