Grounds for divorce?

[Anonymous]

OP, just tell him you want jurisdiction of the yard. You will do/hire everything.

[Anonymous]

Defintely divorce. Lots of single men out there lining up to date a woman who is into gardening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is mostly a vent, but:

I’ve been slowly replacing non-native with native plants in my yard. I recently (this past spring) planted about 50 plugs of various natives in new and established beds around my house. Yesterday, I discovered that my husband weed whacked ALL of my cardinal flower plants!
1.) I told him where I had planted them, pointed them out to him/made him put eyes on them after they were planted.
2.) they were planted in an established bed
3.) it seemed pretty obvious they were purposely put there because they were in a group of three.

He was very apologetic, forgot they were there and thought they were weeds, etc. I’m so angry and upset. This is not the first time he’s done something similar. He also weed whacked my row of young sunflowers.

He has promised to replace them, but of course who do you think has to direct him to the correct plant and place to buy them? And how long do you think it will take for this to happen? Unlikely to be this year. Ugh.

He’s otherwise pretty great, but things like this makes me just want to pack up and move to a cabin in the woods with my dog so I can plant my things and no one will ruin the work I’ve done.

If you're willing to pack all the way up and move, why don't you just do the weed whacking yourself?

[Anonymous]

but he has undiagnosed ADHD. Between him and my ADHD teens

of course they do!

[Anonymous]

First, nice job planting native plants! Once established they are super low maintenance and my garden looks great even during the heat and dry waves.

Second, I’m hopeful for you that they’ll come back. My grandpa used to mow down his garden every fall and it all came back every spring. As long as the roots are ok they can survive. I’m sending you some plant dust for good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is grounds for divorce as DH has really soiled the bed.

Enough with the stupid puns...I think sunflowers look horrible in most gardens unless you have a very large plot that is nearly professionally landscaped (yeah...somehow they work in Martha Stewart's gardens).

Now, unlike your DH, I would tell you that I am weed whacking the sunflowers...ore more accurately...would warn you before you wasted the money to start.

That’s so sweet of you. Your spouse won’t need to waste their time on DCUM before deciding to dump your sorry ass.

My spouse and I somehow manage to be on the same page with our landscaping (imagine!)…and both agree most sunflowers look like shit in a lawn.

It’s very difficult to pull off and nearly everyone doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is grounds for divorce as DH has really soiled the bed.

Enough with the stupid puns...I think sunflowers look horrible in most gardens unless you have a very large plot that is nearly professionally landscaped (yeah...somehow they work in Martha Stewart's gardens).

Now, unlike your DH, I would tell you that I am weed whacking the sunflowers...ore more accurately...would warn you before you wasted the money to start.

That’s so sweet of you. Your spouse won’t need to waste their time on DCUM before deciding to dump your sorry ass.

My spouse and I somehow manage to be on the same page with our landscaping (imagine!)…and both agree most sunflowers look like shit in a lawn.

It’s very difficult to pull off and nearly everyone doesn’t.

Well, guess what? You’re not OP and different people are allowed to have different opinions. Now go sit down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, nice job planting native plants! Once established they are super low maintenance and my garden looks great even during the heat and dry waves.

Second, I’m hopeful for you that they’ll come back. My grandpa used to mow down his garden every fall and it all came back every spring. As long as the roots are ok they can survive. I’m sending you some plant dust for good luck!

Thank you! I did give the stumps a good soaking yesterday, so hopefully they’ll survive. They aren’t very established yet because I planted plugs, but they were looking really healthy before they were chopped. Crossing my fingers they’ll make it

To the sunflower hater - I don’t really care what you think! But for anyone else who might be interested, they were chocolate cherry sunflowers, planted for cutting, native to North America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just tell him you want jurisdiction of the yard. You will do/hire everything.

This. Do this for all tasks. Divide into realms and someone has authority over them. Discuss as needed but do not have both people in charge of any one item. It is the only way to have a happy marriage.

[Anonymous]

If your husband really does have adhd, why are you surprised? I have adhd and have started the day intending to do some gentle hedge trimming and ended the day removing entire established evergreen plants bc I ended up hyperfocused and just kind of zoned out and went to town. Then had stumps starting up at me in the yard for years until I had them removed. I also have many “ingredients” in the garage for projects I would love to start someday and purchased everything to do so but never followed through.

The reason I bring this up is that you need to play to your husband’s strengths and know his weaknesses. I guarantee he was distracted by something either internally or externally during the tour of the garden you gave him when you showed him the native plants not to touch and has no idea what was discussed. If your kids do have adhd, Im assuming you have to ensure they are paying attention when you tell them something important and then have them tell you what you just told them. Why dont you do that w him (in a non demeaning way)?

[Anonymous]

Shove his nose into the destroyed plants and with a rolled-up newspaper whack his behind several times yelling, “Bad husband! Bad husband!”

He won’t do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shove his nose into the destroyed plants and with a rolled-up newspaper whack his behind several times yelling, “Bad husband! Bad husband!”

He won’t do it again.

That could be positive reinforcement for some 😂

[Anonymous]

I don’t think this is grounds for divorce alone unless there are other issues in the marriage. Or if you really would be happier, people get divorced for no actual reason other than wanting different lifestyles…

But I also would take my power back and ban him from weed whacking and use that divorce lawyer budget for a landscaping service to replace everything.

Hurt me once, your fault, hurt me twice, my fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is mostly a vent, but:

I’ve been slowly replacing non-native with native plants in my yard. I recently (this past spring) planted about 50 plugs of various natives in new and established beds around my house. Yesterday, I discovered that my husband weed whacked ALL of my cardinal flower plants!
1.) I told him where I had planted them, pointed them out to him/made him put eyes on them after they were planted.
2.) they were planted in an established bed
3.) it seemed pretty obvious they were purposely put there because they were in a group of three.

He was very apologetic, forgot they were there and thought they were weeds, etc. I’m so angry and upset. This is not the first time he’s done something similar. He also weed whacked my row of young sunflowers.

He has promised to replace them, but of course who do you think has to direct him to the correct plant and place to buy them? And how long do you think it will take for this to happen? Unlikely to be this year. Ugh.

He’s otherwise pretty great, but things like this makes me just want to pack up and move to a cabin in the woods with my dog so I can plant my things and no one will ruin the work I’ve done.

Wow all this drama over some silly plants?

Here's your solution. YOU do the weedeating/yardwork in and around the plants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Defintely divorce. Lots of single men out there lining up to date a woman who is into gardening.

😵‍💫