Taking a teammate to a tournament

[Anonymous]

I've never done it before. It's a big ask, but I would do it for a close friend who needed help. It's not about the money - it's about the changed dynamic with having an extra kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

This - I know the bestie's parents very well, if I spent over what we estimated beforehand, I wouldn't think twice about being like "ok you owe me $50 more than we thought" - her kid and mine are bonded at the hip, and it'd be fine.

A kid/family I don't know as well? Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I would never ask this.

If you can not afford this then don't take the other kid.

I don’t know many people who are ok with someone asking them to spend hundreds on a kid that’s not their own. What a ridiculous notion. Agreeing to take the kid and be responsible for them is a gift. The very least the asker can do is pay their kid’s way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

This - I know the bestie's parents very well, if I spent over what we estimated beforehand, I wouldn't think twice about being like "ok you owe me $50 more than we thought" - her kid and mine are bonded at the hip, and it'd be fine.

A kid/family I don't know as well? Hard pass.

Someone has to take the kid. Should the same family always have to take them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I would never ask this.

If you can not afford this then don't take the other kid.

I can afford it but why would I front a $750 bill for another kid?

That seems insanely high for a weekend.

[Anonymous]

If you, the mom, are taking your son to a tournament, do you bring another boy into YOUR room? Not sure I would be comfortable with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

This - I know the bestie's parents very well, if I spent over what we estimated beforehand, I wouldn't think twice about being like "ok you owe me $50 more than we thought" - her kid and mine are bonded at the hip, and it'd be fine.

A kid/family I don't know as well? Hard pass.

Someone has to take the kid. Should the same family always have to take them?

Yes. Their own parents. Don’t sign your kids up for travel sports if you aren’t willing to make the entire commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you, the mom, are taking your son to a tournament, do you bring another boy into YOUR room? Not sure I would be comfortable with that.

This is why I've never done it. I'm not bringing another teen boy into my room. My own is enough!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

This - I know the bestie's parents very well, if I spent over what we estimated beforehand, I wouldn't think twice about being like "ok you owe me $50 more than we thought" - her kid and mine are bonded at the hip, and it'd be fine.

A kid/family I don't know as well? Hard pass.

Someone has to take the kid. Should the same family always have to take them?

Yes. Their own parents. Don’t sign your kids up for travel sports if you aren’t willing to make the entire commitment.

So when the coach asks the other parents do you just say no? The kid is an integral part of the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you, the mom, are taking your son to a tournament, do you bring another boy into YOUR room? Not sure I would be comfortable with that.

This is why I've never done it. I'm not bringing another teen boy into my room. My own is enough!

And I’ll add to that, I’m not going to be the responsible adult if that kid has his own room and decides to sneak out or do something else stupid. It’s too much liability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I would never ask this.

If you can not afford this then don't take the other kid.

I can afford it but why would I front a $750 bill for another kid?

That seems insanely high for a weekend.

Welcome to jacked up prices for crappy hotels in third rate cities where sports tournaments are held.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

This - I know the bestie's parents very well, if I spent over what we estimated beforehand, I wouldn't think twice about being like "ok you owe me $50 more than we thought" - her kid and mine are bonded at the hip, and it'd be fine.

A kid/family I don't know as well? Hard pass.

Someone has to take the kid. Should the same family always have to take them?

Yes. Their own parents. Don’t sign your kids up for travel sports if you aren’t willing to make the entire commitment.

So when the coach asks the other parents do you just say no? The kid is an integral part of the team.

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

This - I know the bestie's parents very well, if I spent over what we estimated beforehand, I wouldn't think twice about being like "ok you owe me $50 more than we thought" - her kid and mine are bonded at the hip, and it'd be fine.

A kid/family I don't know as well? Hard pass.

Someone has to take the kid. Should the same family always have to take them?

Yes. Their own parents. Don’t sign your kids up for travel sports if you aren’t willing to make the entire commitment.

So when the coach asks the other parents do you just say no? The kid is an integral part of the team.

Yes

You’d let the coach take them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

This - I know the bestie's parents very well, if I spent over what we estimated beforehand, I wouldn't think twice about being like "ok you owe me $50 more than we thought" - her kid and mine are bonded at the hip, and it'd be fine.

A kid/family I don't know as well? Hard pass.

Someone has to take the kid. Should the same family always have to take them?

Yes. Their own parents. Don’t sign your kids up for travel sports if you aren’t willing to make the entire commitment.

So when the coach asks the other parents do you just say no? The kid is an integral part of the team.

Yes

You’d let the coach take them?

A coach has never offered and on our teams, the coach has never been the one asking. It’s always been the same parents asking.

[Anonymous]

We have done this a few times. We just get a suite. Usually it is only DH or myself attending (never both). Usually a chain place like Embassy Suites or Springhill Suites etc is not much more expensive (and one person can take the sofa bed in the “living room”). Might be different if we stayed at a team mandated hotel that was more expensive. Also usually it is for just one night.

We refuse any reimbursement for the room, but kid is always sent with $ for meals and we let them pay for theirs.

I usually don’t find it terribly awkward because there isn’t usually a whole lot of down time between games and team meals. The room is mostly just for sleep.
We have not asked anyone to take our own kid to a tournament, but the parents return the favor in other ways (rides etc).