Taking a teammate to a tournament

[Anonymous]

How big of an ask is this? Will need two hotel rooms, drive the kid, make sure they go to bed and get up on time, be responsible for all of their food/water/snacks and rides. Do you feel put out or are you happy to do it?

[Anonymous]

It’s a big ask. I’m not a fan of doing it but would probably say yes if the kid was well behaved and mine liked them,
If the parents paid rather than reimbursing me (I’ve had parents not pay) and if the parents tended
To reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been on both sides of this. For one sport, it happens all the time and parents always chip and make sure the teammate is connected to everything. This is volleyball and 5 of our tournaments require a flight, so it’s a big expensive commitment.

For the other sport, soccer, we have only done it with teammates that were close personal friends.

Yes, I’d absolutely do it for a teammate.

[Anonymous]

It’s a big ask. I’ve started saying no to these requests. It’s too much responsibility and takes away from the weekend away I’ve planned with my kid and ends up being expensive, no matter how much they offer to pay.

These weekends are exhausting and it gives us zero down time if we are hosting another teammate. I’ve made a mental agreement with myself to be the distant parent next season so no one feels comfortable asking. We had parents take advantage last season of the nice parents.

The one exception if DD happens to have an actual legit close friend on the team. That happened two years ago. I would take any of them in a second. They were friends outside of the team and hung out separately from sports. There wasn’t the same dynamic on our last team.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. Well behaved? Sure no problem. The problem child? Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

9:29 again and the sport of volleyball, if it makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

I would do it if the other family were in a Legitimate bind and my kid got on well with other kid.
I’d hope they would offer to reciprocate

[Anonymous]

It's hugely expensive. Don't ask anyone to do this for you.

[Anonymous]

Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I’m the first 9:29 and it’s all of this. It’s not just the travel to the tournament but it’s all of the team meals and making sure they have what they need for the long tournament days. Volleyball tournaments are very long and it’s a lot. I’m not going to do this next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I’m the first 9:29 and it’s all of this. It’s not just the travel to the tournament but it’s all of the team meals and making sure they have what they need for the long tournament days. Volleyball tournaments are very long and it’s a lot. I’m not going to do this next year.

How do you say no if it's a friend of your kid? The kid is important to the team. I think the parents think if they just pay for the room it's NBD, but being in charge of another teenager for an entire weekend is a big deal IMO, and a huge inconvenience.

[Anonymous]

It truly depends on the kid and my kids relationship with the kid. My daughter has a best friend who is well behaved and would make this easy. I would happily take her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a big ask. I’ve started saying no to these requests. It’s too much responsibility and takes away from the weekend away I’ve planned with my kid and ends up being expensive, no matter how much they offer to pay.

These weekends are exhausting and it gives us zero down time if we are hosting another teammate. I’ve made a mental agreement with myself to be the distant parent next season so no one feels comfortable asking. We had parents take advantage last season of the nice parents.

The one exception if DD happens to have an actual legit close friend on the team. That happened two years ago. I would take any of them in a second. They were friends outside of the team and hung out separately from sports. There wasn’t the same dynamic on our last team.

+1
Only have done this with a teammate that is a genuine friend with my child outside of the team/practices. That is the only way it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a big ask. I’m not a fan of doing it but would probably say yes if the kid was well behaved and mine liked them,
If the parents paid rather than reimbursing me (I’ve had parents not pay) and if the parents tended
To reciprocate.

Reciprocate what? Don't you normally want to go to your kids tournaments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I’m the first 9:29 and it’s all of this. It’s not just the travel to the tournament but it’s all of the team meals and making sure they have what they need for the long tournament days. Volleyball tournaments are very long and it’s a lot. I’m not going to do this next year.

How do you say no if it's a friend of your kid? The kid is important to the team. I think the parents think if they just pay for the room it's NBD, but being in charge of another teenager for an entire weekend is a big deal IMO, and a huge inconvenience.

It’s more than just paying for the room. The times I did it, I always got stuck with paying for food and drinks. And it adds up. Even when parents send money, if their kids don’t budget well, you’re spending your own money. Again, it’s one thing for a good friend but another for everyone else.