Taking a teammate to a tournament

[Anonymous]

I have always done this in an organized way since my kid started traveling to overnight tournaments.

I guess we are lucky to find enough parents that aren't interested in attending all the overnight tournaments, but are fine handling one.

Ideally, you find enough parents = overnight tournaments and everyone takes one. Worst case if you trust one another, is the "lucky" parent takes the first overnight the next season.

Honestly, there were few parents that went to every tournament...for a team of 15 it would be 5 parents taking call it 12 kids between them and then 3 parents that always went.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a big ask. I’m not a fan of doing it but would probably say yes if the kid was well behaved and mine liked them,
If the parents paid rather than reimbursing me (I’ve had parents not pay) and if the parents tended
To reciprocate.

Reciprocate what? Don't you normally want to go to your kids tournaments?

Yes I always went to everything and still do. By reciprocate I meant if others needed things and if they do their share of volunteer work for the team.

[Anonymous]

I've done this and have no problem with it. Our team does a lot of Venmo reimbursements, so I have no problem tracking expenses and saying "Please send $125 for the weekend" or whatever it was. When I've done it, the other family booked their child's flights so that expense was covered. Other family also had a hotel room booked, so the kids stayed in there together and I kept the room I'd booked. (They're old enough that it wasn't an issue.) Other parents have done it on our team for other kids as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a big ask. I’m not a fan of doing it but would probably say yes if the kid was well behaved and mine liked them,
If the parents paid rather than reimbursing me (I’ve had parents not pay) and if the parents tended
To reciprocate.

Reciprocate what? Don't you normally want to go to your kids tournaments?

Sometimes there are unavoidable conflicts. (DP). I’ve got two kids in sports that do travel sports which means for Memorial Day I have to choose. Typically a relative will cover a tournament but this year I couldn’t get a conflict covered. She went with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I’m the first 9:29 and it’s all of this. It’s not just the travel to the tournament but it’s all of the team meals and making sure they have what they need for the long tournament days. Volleyball tournaments are very long and it’s a lot. I’m not going to do this next year.

How do you say no if it's a friend of your kid? The kid is important to the team. I think the parents think if they just pay for the room it's NBD, but being in charge of another teenager for an entire weekend is a big deal IMO, and a huge inconvenience.

If they are actually good friends, outside of the sport, then I don’t have a problem with it. If not then I say we are not able to do it. No, I don’t feel bad. These people are not feeling bad asking you so I don’t feel bad declining. It’s always the same families not attending the away tournaments, which is why I now distance myself.

[Anonymous]

We have done this several times and have never found it to be a big deal.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it unless it was for a really close friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have done this several times and have never found it to be a big deal.

Do you just itemize and ask for Venmo for $?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a big ask. I’m not a fan of doing it but would probably say yes if the kid was well behaved and mine liked them,
If the parents paid rather than reimbursing me (I’ve had parents not pay) and if the parents tended
To reciprocate.

Reciprocate what? Don't you normally want to go to your kids tournaments?

Sometimes there are unavoidable conflicts. (DP). I’ve got two kids in sports that do travel sports which means for Memorial Day I have to choose. Typically a relative will cover a tournament but this year I couldn’t get a conflict covered. She went with friends.

Are you a single parent?

[Anonymous]

It's clearly a big ask. I have had to make it a few times -- thankfully my kid is well-behaved -- and we always ask his closest friend on the team. I would say yes in an instant for an actual friend and without hesitation for a long time teammate unless a behavioral problem.

[Anonymous]

This depends so much on the kid.

Some kids I would say yes without hesitation and others I would not in a million years.

[Anonymous]

Only if it's a kid that I know pretty well that my kid is friends with on the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I would never ask this.

If you can not afford this then don't take the other kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does the family usually offer to reimburse? I think it's awkward with team meals and such.

I would never ask this.

If you can not afford this then don't take the other kid.

I can afford it but why would I front a $750 bill for another kid?

[Anonymous]

We have a kid on our team whose parents don't travel with them ever, so it's always on another family to drive them around and make sure they are set to go, alive etc.