Struggling as new parents

[Anonymous]

It does get better!
Our local hospital had a lactation group that met- all new moms- maybe there is one nearby?

Back when I had my firstborn in 2004, I found a lot of useful advice and info on new parent message boards on iVillage. I was new to my area and had no friends, just dh's family.
I am still friends with some of the women from that message board.

Also highly recommend the book Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child!

It will get better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop breastfeeding
Get on a formula schedule
Find parenting classes in your neighborhood
Join a moms group
Scheduled feeding will be easier

Change clothes in morning and at night unless he gets wet in between then change of course

Call your pediatrician for help
Go to the library get a book on what to do with a new born

He sometimes spits up but it’s a tiny amount. Do we leave him in that sleeper or change for every little wet spot on him?

Use a small soft bib so you can change that without changing the whole outfit.

I don’t like using those. It makes me worry about strangulation. Moves around too much and that worries me.

A bib with a Velcro closure will fall off before it chokes a newborn who isn’t moving at all. Take a deep breath OP and think about all the people out there who survived their newborn hood and thrived as people with parents who were a lot less attentive and loving as you. Then keep on chugging. Just don’t let anxiety over every little thing keep you from enjoying all the wonderful things about being a new mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now is grueling but simple: the baby has a tiny stomach and so it needs to eat a lot to get bigger, and as part of that process get a bigger stomach so that it can go longer between feeds (and sleep longer). When it’s not eating, it will be asleep or crying. Change it when it’s wet (the diaper should change color). You can wait to change a wet diaper but should change a poopy diaper immediately. There probably will not be a clear schedule until closer to four months.

Formula or breast milk is fine. Breastfeeding is harder at first but—if you and baby get the hang of it, which isn’t guaranteed—easier eventually. As long as the baby is eating and growing and alive, you’re doing it right.

The hospital told us feed every 3 hours. He is eating every 2 hours. Last night he was up every 1.5 hours ready to eat. Feeding takes 45m - 1 hour and he eats again 1 hour later. He is feeding way more often than the hospital told us to feed him. Sometimes I wonder if he is getting enough because he seems like he always wants to eat.

We have been changing his diaper every 1.5 hours but I wonder if that’s too much. His blue line isn’t that bad on his diaper.

Sometimes he cries for no reason. Last night he cried for like 10 minutes. Nothing helped and then he just fell asleep.

This all sounds very normal- I'm the beginning ( and actually still with my 3 month old) I feed on cues not a set time...I would do the at least by 3 hour rule not that you have to feed only at every 3 hours. Feeding more frequently will build your supply and ensure he's fed. Highly recommend meeting with a lactation consultant and joining pace.

I usually change just for poop unless it's like going to sleep for the night or about to get in the car. That still leads to many diaper changes a day ( mine pooped after nearly every feed in the begging, only a few times a day now).

Sounded like that cry was from being tired. You'll start to hear differences- my kid has a hungry cry, a tired cry, I'm uncomfortable cry, etc. I generally check for a dirty diaper and make sure baby is fed and well rested. It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed and clueless in the beginning and you'll learn your baby overtime. No need to stop nursing ( heck my milk hadn't even come in at day 5 with my first)

[Anonymous]

It’s hard. It does get better. But no matter what, it’s hard in the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Put the bib on when feeding and take off after burps. Soft ones.
Lactation consultant is good. An 1 is a little long to eat. They do get way more efficient and then it takes 15 min and it's lovely. Their mouths and stomachs are tiny as the PP said.
We did lots of stroller (bassinet) and baby carrier walks in the mornings and evenings to get fresh air and not hot parts of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best book for new parents- What to Expect the First Year. It goes into different cries, what their poop should look like, milestones, etc. really practical information. You can probably get a digital copy from your local Library.

🙄

Because OP has plenty of time to read and digest while being a mom to a newborn baby for the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best book for new parents- What to Expect the First Year. It goes into different cries, what their poop should look like, milestones, etc. really practical information. You can probably get a digital copy from your local Library.

🙄

Because OP has plenty of time to read and digest while being a mom to a newborn baby for the first time.

DP. I had a somewhat difficult newborn but I read a lot while I was trapped under her nursing constantly.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can do this! You will figure things out quickly and get into a rhythm. We. Also followed baby’s cues in the early days. I suggest not pumping after feeding unless baby has a latch issue. That can lead to over supply which comes with challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now is grueling but simple: the baby has a tiny stomach and so it needs to eat a lot to get bigger, and as part of that process get a bigger stomach so that it can go longer between feeds (and sleep longer). When it’s not eating, it will be asleep or crying. Change it when it’s wet (the diaper should change color). You can wait to change a wet diaper but should change a poopy diaper immediately. There probably will not be a clear schedule until closer to four months.

Formula or breast milk is fine. Breastfeeding is harder at first but—if you and baby get the hang of it, which isn’t guaranteed—easier eventually. As long as the baby is eating and growing and alive, you’re doing it right.

The hospital told us feed every 3 hours. He is eating every 2 hours. Last night he was up every 1.5 hours ready to eat. Feeding takes 45m - 1 hour and he eats again 1 hour later. He is feeding way more often than the hospital told us to feed him. Sometimes I wonder if he is getting enough because he seems like he always wants to eat.

We have been changing his diaper every 1.5 hours but I wonder if that’s too much. His blue line isn’t that bad on his diaper.

Sometimes he cries for no reason. Last night he cried for like 10 minutes. Nothing helped and then he just fell asleep.

NP. My kids are 15 and 13 now. I never understood that the first couple of weeks, your kid is just gonna eat and poop there's nothing to expect except managing that. Feeding is def going to be determined by the baby - there's no hard and see rule if exactly 3 hours to feed. Maybe it's 2 and maybe it's 3 1/2. The gist is that it's a baby but it's like adults - they are human and unpredictable. I will say breastfeeding is harder to manage and they will get hungry more often than w formula. Not that you need to do one or better to do one than other but just saying that's my experience with 2.

What I had to learn for myself is that books can offer you a guide to know what to expect but as a parent, with your kid, you will never know exactly what to do this will never really change. You need to realize that you should be able to tell what's wrong but you're not gonna have the answers to anything. Even when they are 3 or 8 or 15. Get used to it! lol

The only advice I would offer is that things are always changing. Your kid being awesome at age 5 may be not as awesome at age 10. Vice versa. You may think they are easy at 2 but at age 6 they become difficult. There are no answers, only changes.

Changing 6 diapers or 8 diapers isn't that big a deal. You have to give yourself a break and realize there's no perfection. You do the best you can and learn with your partner together. Enjoy every second. Feel lucky you've got your kid. Relax and just get to know them

Congratulations on being a parent!

[Anonymous]

The book “my baby week by week” truly was the best for me and many of my friends. Just a handful of pages per week and helped me emotionally in so many ways too.

https://a.co/d/fAghsOM

[Anonymous]

Newborns are meant to be held/in close contact with a parent/loving adult almost constantly. Their stomachs are tiny, so they need to eat very frequently. 2-3 hours (if baby is awake) is a long time between feedings for many newborns. Try to let go of expectations & listen to your baby. As long as s/he has wet diapers & is gaining weight, you’re doing great.
Some suggestions to consider:
-Be sure you (mom) stay hydrated
-skin to skin contact is great for the baby
-it’s fine for the baby to nap while being held
-babywearing helps a lot
-contact a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader for help with nursing.

Hang in there & congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are new parents to a 5 day and have zero clue what we are doing. We are still learning his cues and what to do but it’s very hard. We don’t know what he wants when he gets fussy, if we change him too much, how often to change his clothes, how often to feed, when to put to sleep, etc. Breastfeeding has been the biggest challenge for me. Send me some advice.

You are doing fine. Every new parent feels this way.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a sling? I suggest putting the baby in a sling. At 5 days old the baby wants to be near you all the time, baby is still adjusting to being outside the womb. I used to wear my kids a lot during the first month or two.

Also, nursing every 2 hours is perfectly normal. Breast milk is very efficient and babies digest it easily. A breastfed baby will eat more often than a formula fed baby. That’s great you’re planning a meeting with a lactation consultant, she will be able to check babies latch and make sure baby is eating enough.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job. Try not to worry so much and trust your instincts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are new parents to a 5 day and have zero clue what we are doing. We are still learning his cues and what to do but it’s very hard. We don’t know what he wants when he gets fussy, if we change him too much, how often to change his clothes, how often to feed, when to put to sleep, etc. Breastfeeding has been the biggest challenge for me. Send me some advice.

Why didn't you take a class on newborns in the nine months prior to his birth? Take a class now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are new parents to a 5 day and have zero clue what we are doing. We are still learning his cues and what to do but it’s very hard. We don’t know what he wants when he gets fussy, if we change him too much, how often to change his clothes, how often to feed, when to put to sleep, etc. Breastfeeding has been the biggest challenge for me. Send me some advice.

Why didn't you take a class on newborns in the nine months prior to his birth? Take a class now!

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