Teen girl not having fun at beach week

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Sounds like she went with the wrong group. Seriously, who just sits there and stays on the phone all day/night. It's the beach for crying out loud. Why can't the girls go to the beach, go to the boardwalk, look for boys, go shopping.. there's a million things that they could be doing but choosing to sit on the couch instead. Anyway, here's what I would do. Does she know anyone else not in her house that's at the beach? If so, can she hang out with them on the times that she's bored. If no, then let her know that you'd be okay with her going home; otherwise she can either suck it up or make suggestions to the other girls to do something fun- boardwalk, H20, find parties to go to at night, etc.

[Anonymous]

Ugh this reminds me of the shore house I did after college. I love my friend group to bits but the dynamics of hanging out for a whole weekend - for every meal, every bar, and activity decision was so not my thing. I suffered through it several summers before I put the FOMO to rest and realized it was not for me. And that’s ok! I am more of an independent traveler than group person and I like that about myself.

[Anonymous]

She may just need to go along with the herd for this sort of trip, even if it's not what she wants to do.

[Anonymous]

If you are old enough and mature enough to go to beach week, then you are old enough to handle this on your own. If not, you shouldn't have gone to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are old enough and mature enough to go to beach week, then you are old enough to handle this on your own. If not, you shouldn't have gone to begin with.

Surely she can talk to her mom about it though. I don't know why some people think that once you turn 18, you are a full adult and hence you no longer need your parents for guidance, advice, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's them. They want to do beach week to tell ppl on social media but are not adventurous. She will find her people.

This.

[Anonymous]

So they're not doing anything? Are they going out to eat together? They don't even want to go to the beach with her?

She can come home early if she wants to but you seem too involved in this. She will find her friend group soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - none of them are drinking. They are on their phone in the evening. Just odd to me (but not really). I will mention to her to hang with them one morning even though it is just being on your phone (which she normally loves to do!).

Of course they are. That’s the main purpose of Beach Week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - none of them are drinking. They are on their phone in the evening. Just odd to me (but not really). I will mention to her to hang with them one morning even though it is just being on your phone (which she normally loves to do!).

Of course they are. That’s the main purpose of Beach Week.

Not anymore.

Using their phones instead of going to the beach, is the new-normal for teens.

[Anonymous]

My DD is friends with some girls like this. Never want to go to the community pool in our neighborhood, just want to sit around together on phones doing nothing. *Maybe* they will agree to go to a movie. It's sad. DD spends less and less time with them. They are kind of duds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - none of them are drinking. They are on their phone in the evening. Just odd to me (but not really). I will mention to her to hang with them one morning even though it is just being on your phone (which she normally loves to do!).

Of course they are. That’s the main purpose of Beach Week.

Not anymore.

Using their phones instead of going to the beach, is the new-normal for teens.

That sounds awful! OP's DD needs to find new classmates to hang out with. Literally, she needs to figure out how to tag along with people from other houses. What are these kids all going to do when they get to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are old enough and mature enough to go to beach week, then you are old enough to handle this on your own. If not, you shouldn't have gone to begin with.

Surely she can talk to her mom about it though. I don't know why some people think that once you turn 18, you are a full adult and hence you no longer need your parents for guidance, advice, etc.

NP. I think there's a difference between calling your mom to vent and calling your mom to ask what to do because you're not having fun with your friends. You can train your kids to solve their own problems, which I do. "What are the options for what you could do? Okay, and if you picked Option 1, how would you see that going? And Option 2?" Etc.

[Anonymous]

This makes me sad for this generation of girls (and boys). They are so addicted to smart phones and social media that they are missing out on life. It is a true addiction, they don’t see how bad it is for them and how it is harming their well-being. My two teen daughters are the same, and I don’t know how to combat it. I occasionally limit phone access to get their minds a break, but they get mad and sullen just like an addict.
Your daughter is great, and is trying to live life and have new experiences like a healthy teenager. Hopefully she will find well-balanced, healthy friends in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Sounds like she went with the wrong group. Seriously, who just sits there and stays on the phone all day/night. It's the beach for crying out loud. Why can't the girls go to the beach, go to the boardwalk, look for boys, go shopping.. there's a million things that they could be doing but choosing to sit on the couch instead. Anyway, here's what I would do. Does she know anyone else not in her house that's at the beach? If so, can she hang out with them on the times that she's bored. If no, then let her know that you'd be okay with her going home; otherwise she can either suck it up or make suggestions to the other girls to do something fun- boardwalk, H20, find parties to go to at night, etc.

Nearly every teen does that now, if they have free time on their hands.

[Anonymous]

This is so sad that kids can't get off their phones. I remember beach week in the 90s being so fun, dancing, playing games, beaching, meeting kids from other schools, etc. My friend ended up meeting a boy that ended up her husband after college at beach week!