Why won’t DH read fiction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you expect your husband to fulfill the role of fiction book discussion partner? Post some reviews on GoodReads and join a book club!

NP.

I think the OP’s “love language” is discussing fiction with her DH.

However, he’s obviously not interested in that anymore, while OP is still very much turned on by it. There is sort of quasi-sexual mismatch here.

Outsourcing the issue could work here. Put another way, they could “open the marriage” through a book club. She goes to the book discussions to get revved up or turned on, then comes home to DH and they both get off in the bedroom.

Problem solved!

[Anonymous]

OP, you need more friends, or more book groups. Stop discussing with DH things he doesn't care about discussing. Chatter away elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I feel like OP is implying her husband lacks empathy, imagination and emotion because he doesn't like reading fictional stories. That is bizarre to me, but perhaps she is making that connection because she feels he lacks those things in his interactions with her.

[Anonymous]

I find that with most fiction, I forget it as soon as I'm done with it.
I read a lot of non-fiction (probably 10-1 non-fiction vs fiction) these days as I've gotten older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am willing to and do read pretty much anything. Unfortunately, as someone who loves to discuss books with others, I find myself married to someone who refuses to read fiction and most topics of non-fiction, too.

When we were dating and engaged, DH was able to talk a lot about fiction, but in hindsight it was books he was forced to read in HS or college or books he sort of knew about from book reviews in the NYT or from other people’s conversations.

I can’t change what he reads now, but I’m hoping someone who reads exclusively non-fiction can help me understand your reasoning behind not liking or being drawn to fiction.

I originally was going to post this to the book forum, but I’m realizing it’s more about my relationship and worries about who I’m married to. DH is very judgey of the books I read, but they’re all so different that I think he’s actually judging the concept of fiction and reading it.

Could this be a neurodivergence thing? A lack of empathy? Aphantasia? Something else?

Our relationship has been bumpy lately and I’m realizing there are some things that seem benign (like reading) hint at something more problematic below the surface.

He's "judgey" and doesn't meet your expectations. You should divorce him. It won't get better. Maybe try dating younger. You'll have plenty of options and will find someone more suitable.

[Anonymous]

NEVER CHANGE DCUM!!
The last five fiction books I read have all been free on Project Gutenberg...(and free on AO3).
Utterly feminine stuff like Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables, the Secret Garden...(and fanfics about villains from children's franchises).
No, I do not expect my husband to enjoy these equally and discuss them with me.
No, this is not grounds for divorce.
Find something you can share in equally. I was deep into silent movies at one point and my husband joined in enthusiastically though he'd never seen one.

[Anonymous]

Mine only reads his phone. Was an avid reader a decade ago. I adored quietly reading with him when we first got together. We don’t share books much but will occasionally read passages out loud. He does send me reels though so I guess there’s that.?

[Anonymous]

Join a book club.

DW and I read different genres. I'm not into her stuff, she's not into my stuff. We still enjoy hanging around together, both reading our own books.

[Anonymous]

Yet another DCUM troll diagnosing her husband because he doesn’t do something she wants.

[Anonymous]

His brain is probably more analytical and dry and not as creative, so he prefers that sort of reading material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am willing to and do read pretty much anything. Unfortunately, as someone who loves to discuss books with others, I find myself married to someone who refuses to read fiction and most topics of non-fiction, too.

When we were dating and engaged, DH was able to talk a lot about fiction, but in hindsight it was books he was forced to read in HS or college or books he sort of knew about from book reviews in the NYT or from other people’s conversations.

I can’t change what he reads now, but I’m hoping someone who reads exclusively non-fiction can help me understand your reasoning behind not liking or being drawn to fiction.

I originally was going to post this to the book forum, but I’m realizing it’s more about my relationship and worries about who I’m married to. DH is very judgey of the books I read, but they’re all so different that I think he’s actually judging the concept of fiction and reading it.

Could this be a neurodivergence thing? A lack of empathy? Aphantasia? Something else?

Our relationship has been bumpy lately and I’m realizing there are some things that seem benign (like reading) hint at something more problematic below the surface.

Here we go again..why are women on this forum always pointing to men's mental health??

[Anonymous]

maybe a guy thing? I only read nonfiction.

[Anonymous]

I read mostly nonfiction because I was a history major and it is my particular interest. I occasionally read fantasy if I need an escape (but not romantasy—not my thing). I don’t judge anyone for what they like or don’t like to read! My Goodreads friends read widely different things, and I enjoy seeing that variety.

DH doesn’t read much at all, and that’s fine—I don’t get my book discussion itch scratched from him. I have other friends with whom I discuss books and history, and I belong to a book club whose book choices push me out of my comfort zone (which is a good thing, I concede).

I don’t need DH to fulfill all my needs. I’m grateful for wonderful friendships with men and women where I can dive into books.

[Anonymous]

Male here; I only read nonfiction as I continue to educate myself…..

[Anonymous]

Most fiction these days is written by and catered to women.