Why do relationships not happen for me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound very passive here:
"I'm unapproachable"
"I'm not on apps"
"I went out more with friends, but nothing happened"
"It's just not happening for me"
"No man has shown interest in me ever"

You want a relationship to "happen," but what are you doing actively in that area?

3 of my friends just met their husbands out and about / social settings

And what are you doing out and about in social settings? You said "at this moment I go to work and come home."

Right, but I also said that I used to be social and yet nothing happened. Hence me asking the question, am I the problem here?

How would the internet know the answer to that question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is not your fault and I say this as a man. I think men have lost the art of approaching women. Either they are too scared or shy about it. I think OLD has been a disaster for mens confidence. Men are at their best when they naturally approach a woman. Even men who are very shy and introverted, if they randomly come across their ideal match in a public setting if they tell you they were shy you have never believed it.

THIS!

Men are too scared to approach women nowadays.
The MeToo movement is a contributing factor. Many men are now unsure about how to approach women without potentially violating their boundaries.
They fear that their attempt to approach a woman will be misinterpreted as harassment, leading them to avoid all interactions.

Fewer men attempt to approach women at work for that reason. The workplace use to be a place where many relationships started.

This is SO lame. Here’s an easy primer:

Don’t be a dick
Don’t send dick pics unless requested
Don’t hit on subordinates
Don’t stalk

It’s pretty easy, really. Act like women are fellow humans & you’ll be fine.

Are you clueless in general, or just on this topic?

Women need to approach. That’s how it works now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Seriously, I feel like the monster Demi Moore turns into in The Substance.
I'm unapproachable. People tell me it's fine and such but that is no help.

I just want to know what the problem is. I'm not on apps and at this moment I go to work and come home.
A couple years ago I went out more with friends, but nothing happened.

I am outside of my home for 12 hours a day. It's just not happening for me or maybe I am doing things wrong?
No man has shown interest in me ever.

Everyone I know is engaged or married

Three points: 1. Are there things about your physical appearance that might be disincentivizing men from approaching you? I ask that without judgment, but if so, it’s a different kind of problem that likely calls from different kinds of solutions, and if you’re serious about finding someone, its best to be truthful with yourself about that. 2. Assuming the answer to 1 is “no,” you need to treat this as a networking problem. Do you have casual acquaintances you can mention “hey, I’m looking to meet someone, keep your ear out”? 3. You might have to steel yourself to approaching men rather than waiting for them to approach you. Doesn’t have to be anything major, even saying something like “hey, that’s a cool shirt/watch/hat/whatever” is enough to put it in play and any guy worth your time who is available will take it from there in my experience.

PP, it would be much better to say "hey, I’m looking to meet someone, keep your head on a swivel," OK?

[Anonymous]

Are you attractive to heterosexual men (face/figure/grooming)?

Are you fun to be around?

Are you good in the bedroom?

Men are simple creatures.

-A woman

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am someone who didn't have trouble meeting guys when I was in school. But when I entered the work world, that all changed. These days, you need to do the apps if you want to meet someone.

I'm with somebody amazing now, years after my divorce. He and I joke about how we are are perfect for one another, but would never have met if we hadn't been on the apps. We have totally different social and work life circles. And even then, we didn't meet until the week when each of us expanded our geographic reach far beyond what we initially thought would be ideal. We drive almost an hour and a half each way to see one another many times a week. He's absolutely worth it, and he feels the same about me.

I met my ex-H on the apps over 20 years ago. We later found one connection through which we might have met without the app. But we were both grateful we took the chance and met online because that connection might have never been made otherwise.

The only other advice I'd give is to ask yourself whether you'd date you. Are you doing everything to develop yourself into the best version of you that you could be?

Happy for you. curious how old you are and if you have kids?

[Anonymous]

It's crazy how easy it is for women on the apps and OP refuses to make the least amount of effort possible on them. The apps are like shooting fish in a barrel.

Yes, you will get tons of attention and have to sift through it but given how little options you have today, it will be a step up. Go on a few dates with no expectations and get comfortable at flirting and eye contact etc...

Then you can boost your confidence for more opportunities irl and in your daily life.

Crazy how easy it is for women to get sex or get dates but the blame naturally shifts to men.