Too many doctor's appointments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eye opening - H used to take DCs to many (not all) doctor's appointments in the past, but since he moved away for work, I have to do all doctor's appointments. They're not little anymore, and it's more serious stuff - sports injuries, dermatologists, therapy etc. or simple things like dental cleaning. I can't send a nanny with them - it's not fair and it's also not recommendable because I need to know about instructions and make decisions in some instances. My boss complained that I have too many doctor's appointments. I think that's rude and bizarre. She's a someone who used to have a SAHD (kids are now in college). What do you think about this?

Doctors'. I think it is eye-opening indeed that you do not know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eye opening - H used to take DCs to many (not all) doctor's appointments in the past, but since he moved away for work, I have to do all doctor's appointments. They're not little anymore, and it's more serious stuff - sports injuries, dermatologists, therapy etc. or simple things like dental cleaning. I can't send a nanny with them - it's not fair and it's also not recommendable because I need to know about instructions and make decisions in some instances. My boss complained that I have too many doctor's appointments. I think that's rude and bizarre. She's a someone who used to have a SAHD (kids are now in college). What do you think about this?

Doctors'. I think it is eye-opening indeed that you do not know this.

You need to schedule FMLA and block off a consistent time each week where you can lump them together.
It’s not rude that she’s mentioning it. She expects consistency and responses since her parenting is experience was different. Try to schedule first appts of the morning or last in the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teen I rode my bike and went to dermatologist, dentist and orthodontist on my own.

same, and pt when I had it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to schedule as many appointments as possible on one day and you take off work for the day and that will be MUCH less disruptive to your job.

This. I'm not sure why this is so complicated for you op.

[Anonymous]

You've said a couple of times. "I don't know how often the appointments are." You don't seem to have a good work ethic (or common sense) if you don't know & can't figure it out. Look at your calendar. Also, how often does she have sports injuries that she needs appointments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teen I rode my bike and went to dermatologist, dentist and orthodontist on my own.

same, and pt when I had it.

NP. How on earth did this work? Minors can’t sign the paperwork. I doubt my kids’ doctors would even see then if they showed to unaccompanied, for liability reasons, if nothing else.

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like you have a complicated situation and maybe your boss is unreasonable I don’t know. BUT - the job market is horrible, you do not want to be looking for a new job right now. I don’t know if your job is at risk but if my boss started making comments like this I would take note immediately and try to figure out an alternative plan asap. It’s scary out there. Don’t stick your head in the sand bc you think your boss is being unreasonable. I would take her words as a warning and figure out a plan for your kids and their medical needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to schedule as many appointments as possible on one day and you take off work for the day and that will be MUCH less disruptive to your job.

This. I'm not sure why this is so complicated for you op.

Not op but easier said than done. And if you have multiple kids and the doctors appointments are virtually all across town this is very difficult to do. Not to mention that most doctors stop seeing patients fairly early so there is a small window say 3 to 5 if you’re trying not to pull your kids out of school to go see the doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you not have to take PTO for those kind of absences? Or at least use Flex Time? If you are just kind of disappearing from work for a couple hours every two weeks, I could see why she might be saying something.

This. Maybe it's less about the reason for the absence than the lack of communication that you would be absent. I always email my boss to tell her I'll be unavailable for an hour or two for an appointment. She always responds that I don't need to let her know. But we both know that if something came up and I hadn't let her know, it wouldn't look good for either of us. I'd be dinged for not responding and she'd be dinged for not knowing I was unavailable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at nanny. You probably also lost me at "husband used to take daughter to all dr's appointments."

NP. Why is it a surprise that a DH would take kids to a doctor's appointment? My DH and I both work, and we share the duties of taking the kids to the doctor. And a nanny is just child care for the kids. A part-time nanny can be more affordable that using after-care, depending on the number of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eye opening - H used to take DCs to many (not all) doctor's appointments in the past, but since he moved away for work, I have to do all doctor's appointments. They're not little anymore, and it's more serious stuff - sports injuries, dermatologists, therapy etc. or simple things like dental cleaning. I can't send a nanny with them - it's not fair and it's also not recommendable because I need to know about instructions and make decisions in some instances. My boss complained that I have too many doctor's appointments. I think that's rude and bizarre. She's a someone who used to have a SAHD (kids are now in college). What do you think about this?

Your nanny can drive them to therapy, dental and other basic stuff.

I don't have a nanny. My salary would not cover this additional expense.

Then why did you mention a nanny in your OP?

Teens can handle routine dentist, eye and ortho appointments without you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at nanny. You probably also lost me at "husband used to take daughter to all dr's appointments."

NP. Why is it a surprise that a DH would take kids to a doctor's appointment? My DH and I both work, and we share the duties of taking the kids to the doctor. And a nanny is just child care for the kids. A part-time nanny can be more affordable that using after-care, depending on the number of kids.

It’s not a surprise. It’s the fact that OP apparently has not had to deal with kid medical appointments on a regular basis before now, and the kids are TEENAGERS. If she’s had a nanny and DH to share the workload up until now and can’t figure it out when the kids are teens, I just don’t know what to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not have to take PTO for those kind of absences? Or at least use Flex Time? If you are just kind of disappearing from work for a couple hours every two weeks, I could see why she might be saying something.

This. Maybe it's less about the reason for the absence than the lack of communication that you would be absent. I always email my boss to tell her I'll be unavailable for an hour or two for an appointment. She always responds that I don't need to let her know. But we both know that if something came up and I hadn't let her know, it wouldn't look good for either of us. I'd be dinged for not responding and she'd be dinged for not knowing I was unavailable.

Not scheduling leave will be terrible, you can be fired for that.

But also just taking too much leave, employers do get upside. They have fired cancer payments for taking too much time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teen I rode my bike and went to dermatologist, dentist and orthodontist on my own.

same, and pt when I had it.

NP. How on earth did this work? Minors can’t sign the paperwork. I doubt my kids’ doctors would even see then if they showed to unaccompanied, for liability reasons, if nothing else.

DP. I don't know but it did. I went to dentist, allergist, and ortho on my own.

In this day and age, you can check them in online with all the paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teen I rode my bike and went to dermatologist, dentist and orthodontist on my own.

same, and pt when I had it.

NP. How on earth did this work? Minors can’t sign the paperwork. I doubt my kids’ doctors would even see then if they showed to unaccompanied, for liability reasons, if nothing else.

DP. I don't know but it did. I went to dentist, allergist, and ortho on my own.

In this day and age, you can check them in online with all the paperwork.

There was much less paperwork and no HIPPA, so you could just call in and they could give you health information over the phone.