Husband and I fighting over moving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long work commute should not concern you. You should be planning on being a SAHM with help, esp help in the evenings, so you can prepare for your Dh's arrival home from work. Have the table set, the baby fed and in bed by 6pm or help on standby for those first 6 months, and dinner ready to serve within an hour of his arrival.

To be fair, if division of work and good income allows a tension free household and relaxed evenings for both, there is nothing wrong with it, no matter if there is a SAHM or SAHD or both part timers or alternating time off. Doing things for family is a privilege, why demean it?

[Anonymous]

OP, you'll be fine either way so don't stress too much. Both decisions have pros and cons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP, change is hard. But you are about to have 8923745098475 changes with a new baby, and it is WAY WAY WAY easier to move before the kid comes than after. You want to pack up an apartment while a toddler tries to unpack everything you just packed?

Find a place where you'd be comfortable living through at least elementary school, so you don't have to do this again in a few years.

The areas he is looking does have good public schools but we would never go that route. We plan to do private schooling or move to an excellent school district.

We are not ready for a SFH in the suburbs and don’t want a SFH in the city. Too expensive and too much upkeep during what will likely be the busiest time in our lives.

What do you mean you're not ready for a SFH? You're already expecting your family to grow so now would be the ideal time to start looking for onw.

We would only buy in suburbs and we aren’t ready to make that move. A SFH in the city is too expensive and we don’t want the upkeep of a SFH with young kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You posted this before.

Right?!

[Anonymous]

This thread is bonkers. Where are these posters coming from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Imho if it gives you more space for less or even same money and payment is building equity then he is making a wise decision. Change is tough but inevitable so get on with the process. Its easier to move before baby than it is with a baby. Good luck with new place and new baby.

My reasons for not moving are

- We will not stay in a condo or townhome for more than 3 years. Maybe 4 max. We will eventually want a house.

- The one he likes the most is about what we pay here now. I know that equity is important but it feels like we lose money if we don’t stay for 5+ years in a new place.

- Longer commute to work. Not ideal.

Why do you need a house in 3-4 years? If you insist on that, then split the difference and stay in the rental for 2 years and go straight to a house. It would kill me to throw away as much in rent as you are, though. It’s also a huge pain to move with kids/a baby vs just a couple. Finally, believe me, you will not use most of the building amenities once you have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it the same person repeatedly posting these threads?

Seems that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bonkers. Where are these posters coming from?

Many are bored.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you just move to the detached house now?

[Anonymous]

Condos are very hard to sell. If you’re going to move, find a house or townhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it the same person repeatedly posting these threads?

Seems that way.

May be they weren't able to come to a decision and wanted more discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Longer commute sounds like a good reason not to move - esp if you think this is only for a couple of years.

I'd stay where you are for the next few years and spend that time figuring out what life looks like with two kids and what compromises you're willing to make for more space.

My husband says commute isn’t a big deal because it will be about 20 minutes. I’m spoiled with my commute being less than 5 minutes away.

We won’t have enough room for 2 kids in this space. We definitely do not want to pay the 3bd price in our current place. That’s like $8500/mo. We already pay $5700/mo just for rent.

OK if you can't stay in this place with two kids then what would YOU like to do?

20 minutes sounds all right, as commutes go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Who pays the bills?

Odd question. We both pay the bills. We make about the same. All money goes into joint checking and we pay from that. There is no my money or his money. It’s our money.

Not an odd question. Many posters have preconceived notions about other people's lives and can't see past their noses so just try to fit everything into the molds they've made.

[Anonymous]

Change is scary when you are in a nesting mode but you'll be okay.

[Anonymous]

The husband is nesting. You don't need more space because of the baby. You also don't need longer a commute or steps in the house.
Is it really a good time to buy a home now? It may depending on your income and assets.