Husband and I fighting over moving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let your husband be the boss. He's the breadwinner after all. Now that you are expectinf, you should be preparing for your new role as a mother.

Who said my husband was the breadwinner? We make close to the same income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long work commute should not concern you. You should be planning on being a SAHM with help, esp help in the evenings, so you can prepare for your Dh's arrival home from work. Have the table set, the baby fed and in bed by 6pm or help on standby for those first 6 months, and dinner ready to serve within an hour of his arrival.

What a very weird comment. I have no plans to be a SAHM. My husband is a grown man and can fix his own dinner if I’m busy tending to the baby. 6pm seems like a very early bedtime for a baby. I don’t wait hand and foot for my husband and I won’t start doing that anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it the same person repeatedly posting these threads?

I haven’t posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Longer commute sounds like a good reason not to move - esp if you think this is only for a couple of years.

I'd stay where you are for the next few years and spend that time figuring out what life looks like with two kids and what compromises you're willing to make for more space.

My husband says commute isn’t a big deal because it will be about 20 minutes. I’m spoiled with my commute being less than 5 minutes away.

We won’t have enough room for 2 kids in this space. We definitely do not want to pay the 3bd price in our current place. That’s like $8500/mo. We already pay $5700/mo just for rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Who pays the bills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Who pays the bills?

Both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Who pays the bills?

Odd question. We both pay the bills. We make about the same. All money goes into joint checking and we pay from that. There is no my money or his money. It’s our money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Who pays the bills?

Both of us.

Assuming it is a 50/50 split equally, then perhaps let the kids decide? Or flip a coin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Who pays the bills?

Both of us.

Assuming it is a 50/50 split equally, then perhaps let the kids decide? Or flip a coin.

Kids? Our child isn’t even born yet.

[Anonymous]

Move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should move. You WILL want more space - you'd be surprised at how much crap you need for kids. Keep in mind people willl just give you stuff, even things you didn't want. Plus, your kid will decide to bring stuff home - they will cry real tears over a stick they find on a walk and insist it's their best friend and must bring it home. They'll get sent home from preschool with art crap. They'll get gifts at birthdays and holidays.

+1 We had a 2br + bonus room in the basement, 1.25 bath, 1400sqft house. The LR was sizeable, but the kid's stuff just kept growing. It eventually took over our LR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Longer commute sounds like a good reason not to move - esp if you think this is only for a couple of years.

I'd stay where you are for the next few years and spend that time figuring out what life looks like with two kids and what compromises you're willing to make for more space.

My husband says commute isn’t a big deal because it will be about 20 minutes. I’m spoiled with my commute being less than 5 minutes away.

We won’t have enough room for 2 kids in this space. We definitely do not want to pay the 3bd price in our current place. That’s like $8500/mo. We already pay $5700/mo just for rent.

You really need to move if you want 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Who pays the bills?

Both of us.

Assuming it is a 50/50 split equally, then perhaps let the kids decide? Or flip a coin.

Kids? Our child isn’t even born yet.

There's your answer then, coin toss. Let fate decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

You do understand the concept of real estate equity/ owning an investment vs. throwing money away by renting correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP, change is hard. But you are about to have 8923745098475 changes with a new baby, and it is WAY WAY WAY easier to move before the kid comes than after. You want to pack up an apartment while a toddler tries to unpack everything you just packed?

Find a place where you'd be comfortable living through at least elementary school, so you don't have to do this again in a few years.

The areas he is looking does have good public schools but we would never go that route. We plan to do private schooling or move to an excellent school district.

We are not ready for a SFH in the suburbs and don’t want a SFH in the city. Too expensive and too much upkeep during what will likely be the busiest time in our lives.

What do you mean you're not ready for a SFH? You're already expecting your family to grow so now would be the ideal time to start looking for onw.