Husband and I fighting over moving

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

[Anonymous]

You should move. You WILL want more space - you'd be surprised at how much crap you need for kids. Keep in mind people willl just give you stuff, even things you didn't want. Plus, your kid will decide to bring stuff home - they will cry real tears over a stick they find on a walk and insist it's their best friend and must bring it home. They'll get sent home from preschool with art crap. They'll get gifts at birthdays and holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Imho if it gives you more space for less or even same money and payment is building equity then he is making a wise decision. Change is tough but inevitable so get on with the process. Its easier to move before baby than it is with a baby. Good luck with new place and new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Imho if it gives you more space for less or even same money and payment is building equity then he is making a wise decision. Change is tough but inevitable so get on with the process. Its easier to move before baby than it is with a baby. Good luck with new place and new baby.

My reasons for not moving are

- We will not stay in a condo or townhome for more than 3 years. Maybe 4 max. We will eventually want a house.

- The one he likes the most is about what we pay here now. I know that equity is important but it feels like we lose money if we don’t stay for 5+ years in a new place.

- Longer commute to work. Not ideal.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP, change is hard. But you are about to have 8923745098475 changes with a new baby, and it is WAY WAY WAY easier to move before the kid comes than after. You want to pack up an apartment while a toddler tries to unpack everything you just packed?

Find a place where you'd be comfortable living through at least elementary school, so you don't have to do this again in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Imho if it gives you more space for less or even same money and payment is building equity then he is making a wise decision. Change is tough but inevitable so get on with the process. Its easier to move before baby than it is with a baby. Good luck with new place and new baby.

My reasons for not moving are

- We will not stay in a condo or townhome for more than 3 years. Maybe 4 max. We will eventually want a house.

- The one he likes the most is about what we pay here now. I know that equity is important but it feels like we lose money if we don’t stay for 5+ years in a new place.

- Longer commute to work. Not ideal.

Okay, well that's silly. Buy a place you see yourselves living at least 10 years. I would never buy for 3-4 years. Buy a place you can stay put for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

You posted this before.

[Anonymous]

Let your husband be the boss. He's the breadwinner after all. Now that you are expectinf, you should be preparing for your new role as a mother.

[Anonymous]

Long work commute should not concern you. You should be planning on being a SAHM with help, esp help in the evenings, so you can prepare for your Dh's arrival home from work. Have the table set, the baby fed and in bed by 6pm or help on standby for those first 6 months, and dinner ready to serve within an hour of his arrival.

[Anonymous]

Is it the same person repeatedly posting these threads?

[Anonymous]

Longer commute sounds like a good reason not to move - esp if you think this is only for a couple of years.

I'd stay where you are for the next few years and spend that time figuring out what life looks like with two kids and what compromises you're willing to make for more space.

[Anonymous]

Don’t buy anything for less than 5 years. And frankly in this climate don’t buy anything you couldn’t deal with indefinitely.

Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it OP, change is hard. But you are about to have 8923745098475 changes with a new baby, and it is WAY WAY WAY easier to move before the kid comes than after. You want to pack up an apartment while a toddler tries to unpack everything you just packed?

Find a place where you'd be comfortable living through at least elementary school, so you don't have to do this again in a few years.

The areas he is looking does have good public schools but we would never go that route. We plan to do private schooling or move to an excellent school district.

We are not ready for a SFH in the suburbs and don’t want a SFH in the city. Too expensive and too much upkeep during what will likely be the busiest time in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You posted this before.

I haven’t. Must have been someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have rented in this luxury high rise for the past year. We pay a huge premium to live here. It’s been really nice but the unit itself is not super big - 1200-1300sqft. There are so many incredible amenities - close to work, stores, restaurants, huge gym + pool in building, and multiple work spaces within in the building. They even have a children’s area. We found out last month that we are expecting and my husband now wants to move to a condo or townhome with much more room. He’s been scouting out condos and the like and have found some nice 3bd places with more square footage. I’m super happy here but my husband is insistent we move because we will outgrow the space very quickly.
He’s ready to put an offer in on a certain property. It will be cheaper to pay a mortgage.

I’ve always been super indecisive and not great with change. What are your thoughts on this? Am I naive to think we can make it work in this small space? Is moving more wise? Should I stick to my guns and not move?

Imho if it gives you more space for less or even same money and payment is building equity then he is making a wise decision. Change is tough but inevitable so get on with the process. Its easier to move before baby than it is with a baby. Good luck with new place and new baby.

My reasons for not moving are

- We will not stay in a condo or townhome for more than 3 years. Maybe 4 max. We will eventually want a house.

- The one he likes the most is about what we pay here now. I know that equity is important but it feels like we lose money if we don’t stay for 5+ years in a new place.

- Longer commute to work. Not ideal.

In that case, it doesn't make as much sense. Yes, you would build equity but paying realtor's commission, title, inspection, moving crew now and then again in >5 years would even it out. Now its pretty much an issue of an extra room, which is still useful but you can make do in 2 bed, specially if location, commute and amenities are good.

I think as a father he would like to have his family in a home and have more space. You two need to make an excellent sheet and try to make it a logical decision.