Will we need a SAHP with 4 school age kids?
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Anonymous
| Weirdly, when my four kids were in elementary school, that was when things were the easiest! Once they got to middle school and high school, I cut back on work and find it good to be around… to drive, eavesdrop on their conversations with friends while hanging out eating at the table, basically to take their emotional temperature discreetly and regularly. But if you can wfh or have some flexibility, you can do all that while working. I wouldn’t make a big shift right now, OP. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| I think all in one school is the easiest. When the oldest goes to middle it'll be harder. |
Anonymous
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Go PT.
Otherwise you'll just sit around twiddling your thumbs at home from 830-330 (during school hours). Itsl is not until after school which is when schedules and extracurriculars need to be juggled. |
Anonymous
Not necessarily. OP can take care of errands, volunteer (at the school or where ever is meaningful to OP), workout, prepare meals, etc. I'm sure there are plenty of things she can do. |
Anonymous
Exactly. Grocery shopping and meal prep for one so dinner is easy during the evening rush. Laundry. Cleaning. Exercise. Cleaning the gutters. Mowing the lawn. The possibilities are endless! |
Anonymous
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I’m quitting with my youngest in first grade, and oldest in middle school (they are closely spaced).
We could make it work - we have for many years - but I don’t want to any more. For me, it was the realization that it was never going get less stressful to balance my work and kids. When they were babies/toddlers, I felt like it was easier to provide them with good childcare and a good preschool and I didn’t stress or have much guilt. It was work but I loved my job and was motivated to make everything work. As my kids got older (elementary) I wanted to be more involved in their learning and lives, my DH’s career took off, and I started feeling like I was being neither a good worker or a good mother. I kept thinking that the balance would get easier as my youngest got older, but it didn’t, it just shifted. Now there is less “childcare” and more guidance and teaching values. I want time for myself, too. So I gave my notice and will soon be a SAHP. |
Anonymous
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No, don’t. Kids become more work as they get older. Helping with homework and/or supplementing their school learning with work at home becomes a lot more complicated than when you were just teaching letters and reading to them. Will they play instruments, do sports? Require private lessons or tutors in anything? Go to group sports practice?This x4 is a lot and needs to be carefully coordinated starting as soon as school finishes to fit it all in. Then there’s the drs appts, orthodontist appts, half days, snow days, random Fridays off for records day, sick days, all the holiday breaks plus summer.
The only foreseeable way to have 4 kids and 2 full time parents is to have extensive family or hires help and/or not do many extracurriculars and utilize before/after care at school daily |
Anonymous
Longtime SAHM here. Yes I do all that during the day (except DH mows the lawn, not me) and it's very boring and monotonous. Helpful to the family, who appreciate it, but not fun or stimulating for me. |
Anonymous
This is very true. I think part of what motivated me through the toddler/preschool years was the idea that this was somehow temporary. The we just had to make it through a few years and things would get easier. But they really don’t. They just shift. The idea of muddling through the next 15 years was too much. |
Anonymous
Purchasing and preparing food to feed a family of six every day is no joke. Especially if your kids play sports or you regularly have friends and family over. |
Anonymous
I don’t disagree, but most jobs aren’t particularly fun or stimulating. Taking care of a family, however a couple chooses to do it, is the goal. |
Anonymous
+1 Family of 5 but my DH and oldest son are giants and both teen son and teen daughter do multiple sports. We go through a lot of food. It wouldn’t even be possible to grocery shop only once a week - we couldn’t store all of that the day we got it home. |
Anonymous
+2 We have 3 teens (2 boys) and all play sports. Food shopping/cooking has become a lot more time consuming the last few years. I miss the days when lighter, simpler meals were enough. My teens basically eat two full dinners every day- real dinner, and then a 2nd meal at some point (usually prepped themselves). They started eating full large breakfasts again, and packing full lunches again too, to get calories in. After eating like birds and being happy with the school lunch for years. I truly cannot believe the amount of food we go through. I am at the store at least every other day no matter how hard I try to plan. Sort of off topic, sorry. But it is crazy. |
Anonymous
I know this is off topic, but there is a great thread from 10 years ago where a woman kind of goes through figuring out just how much food she has to make for her teenagers. I can’t remember it all, but she starts off making them each a chicken leg like they are toddlers and ends up making something like an entire lasagna plus sides. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/465595.page |
Anonymous
I like this off-topic and I think it’s somewhat relevant. My teen son eats at least 4000 calories a day. I feel like shopping, cooking, and dishes is a part-time job in itself at this point. (And before anyone asks, yes he does cook for himself and for the family when he can, but he is a multi-sport athlete and his schedule is absolutely packed.) |