Will we need a SAHP with 4 school age kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really see how next year would be harder than this year. You already juggle work and 4 kids, and it will probably be even easier when they’re all at the same elementary school. You say you love working, so only knowing these details, it sounds like you should look for another role.

This. No point SAH now. You made it this far.

[Anonymous]

I have four and don’t sah. My husband and I both have flexible jobs, and we are smart about which activities the kids do to limit our logistical burden. We are busy, but we love it!

[Anonymous]

You can do this either way.

If you like work, you can just alternate between you and your dh who stays home when someone is sick. You can definitely make it work. To make it a little easier, you can hire an after school nanny. But if you don’t want to do that, you can stagger work schedules so one of you is home when school is out.

If you want to stop working and your marriage is rock solid and you don’t care about advancement (or lack thereof) in your career, then you stay home and get involved in school and that kind of stuff. Personally, I would absolutely love to do that, but we are not in a position financially to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can do this either way.

If you like work, you can just alternate between you and your dh who stays home when someone is sick. You can definitely make it work. To make it a little easier, you can hire an after school nanny. But if you don’t want to do that, you can stagger work schedules so one of you is home when school is out.

If you want to stop working and your marriage is rock solid and you don’t care about advancement (or lack thereof) in your career, then you stay home and get involved in school and that kind of stuff. Personally, I would absolutely love to do that, but we are not in a position financially to do so.

Things to consider if OP hires an after school nanny:
1. If you need the nanny to drive your kids to activities, you'll probably need to let her drive your car. You can't count on the nanny having a car big enough to fit 4 kids (since all kids are still under 12 and will have to sit in the back.)
2. It's harder to find part time, afternoon only nannies because most people need full time work to pay the bills.
3. If you're only hiring her for afternoons, she won't be able to cover other needs (like snow days, teacher work days, etc.)because she will most likely have a daily morning obligation (like nannying for another family, or maybe classes if she is a college student, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Up to you. I have a mentor who had four kids; neither she nor her husband ever left the workforce, and she's had many big roles, including as CEO of a public company. If you don't want to quit, you'll figure it out. They, of course, had a lot of help. Her kids are older and doing great, and their family remains close.

[Anonymous]

That or a full time nanny.

[Anonymous]

Once they’re in school it’s A LOT easier. You can always try it out and see if you like it (assuming you find a job you want). Worst case you quit 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

It’s so easy to go to work now.

Middle school has lots of afterschool activities.

I’d go to work now, build good will so it’s more flexible during middle school.

Once they were in HS they were essentially ghosts. School, after school activities, home to grab food, homework, bed.

Once your oldest drives you even have a driver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once they’re in school it’s A LOT easier. You can always try it out and see if you like it (assuming you find a job you want). Worst case you quit 🤷‍♀️

Right. I only have two kids, but one was sick last Wednesday, then they had Thursday and Friday off and a 1/2 day today. That would be 3.5 days of work missed in 1 week 

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so easy to go to work now.

Middle school has lots of afterschool activities.

I’d go to work now, build good will so it’s more flexible during middle school.

Once they were in HS they were essentially ghosts. School, after school activities, home to grab food, homework, bed.

Once your oldest drives you even have a driver.

+1 This is what I came on here to post. I feel like I am constantly doing pick ups and drop offs at the middle and high schools. This is especially true if your DC plays a fall sport, because the practices start in August.

[Anonymous]

I have two middle schoolers and have worked part time since they were 6. I can barely do that, with sick days, random days off (they go to different schools/schedules), husband travel, regular check ups, but my kids are pretty high need (one with some special needs and the other is in a really demanding school program). I may have to go full time next year and I really don't know how we'll function! I'm behind on laundry as it is (and kids do their own). I will say I imagine if we were in a place where they took the school bus and were gone from 7:30-4 and I worked from home, it would be different, but I end up driving at least one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so easy to go to work now.

Middle school has lots of afterschool activities.

I’d go to work now, build good will so it’s more flexible during middle school.

Once they were in HS they were essentially ghosts. School, after school activities, home to grab food, homework, bed.

Once your oldest drives you even have a driver.

+1 This is what I came on here to post. I feel like I am constantly doing pick ups and drop offs at the middle and high schools. This is especially true if your DC plays a fall sport, because the practices start in August.

Quoting myself because I forgot to add that you should probably either quit or stay in the same job. I wouldn't take a new job on right now unless it's a pretty flexible schedule.

[Anonymous]

I have four kids ages 16, 15, 13, and 10. My oldest has special needs, and my husband is a surgeon, which is flexible in that it’s easy for him to schedule time off a few months in advance, but not really flexible in terms of taking off if the kids are sick or someone needs to run to the school immediately because our 11 year old is laying on the floor in the middle of everyone’s coats and refusing to get up.

I ended up working part time evenings and overnights and hiring a morning sitter to get everyone off to school when I was on overnight.
Sometimes things get dropped or missed, but that’s life.

[Anonymous]

We only have three kids, but they’re spread across high school, middle school, and elementary. It’s not necessary for me to stay home but it makes all of our lives significantly less stressful. Spouse isn’t a high earner by DCUM standards but we make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really see how next year would be harder than this year. You already juggle work and 4 kids, and it will probably be even easier when they’re all at the same elementary school. You say you love working, so only knowing these details, it sounds like you should look for another role.

This. No point SAH now. You made it this far.

That depends on the kids and their schedules. Personally I found the daycare years significantly easier, logistically. It even covered summers and random teacher workdays!

It also depends on your own priorities as a family. We value dinner together, just as an example, and with activities every single evening the only guaranteed way we can make that work is having the day free to do everything so that in the half hour when everyone is home we’re ready. Some people don’t care about stuff like that so much, which is fine, but evenings get BUSY with multiple older kids.