Do parents realize they are rotting their own and their children’s minds with screens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's an idea - stop dragging the other kids to their boring sibling's basketball games. That's not fair to them. Or, long drives. I'm ok with kids using devices in moderation. Parent your own kids - well, clearly you are only to your favorite child.

I agree with this. I was dragged to every one of my (favored) older siblings sports practices and games (practices!), and I still hold it against my parents to this day. I wasted so much of my life learning nothing, doing nothing. My parents never once brought toys or books for me. Playing under the bleachers in a hot gym is not somehow magical and valuable. I would have been better off at least learning some new vocabulary watching shows on a tablet.

My kids are only allowed screens on planes and road trips. There is a middle ground. They will not be forced to attend siblings’ activities. Nothing wrong with TV when there is legitimately nothing else to do.

Mine too and there were always excuses of why I couldn't do my own sports, music or other activities that interest me. I got to sit there bored.

We did only educational videos or learning apps early on. They helped a lot with reading and other things.

[Anonymous]

You see a kid for 5 minutes using an iPad and decide they must do that their whole lives. F off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

I don’t disagree with the stay in your lane idea here, but I do think a big reason our culture lacks empathy is because of screens. Many teenagers and young adults raised on screens do not know how to talk to others - they are so used to talking from behind a keyboard.

They actually do. Its just different and has nothign to do with empathy. My kids were reading by age 3. Was yours? And, yes they had screens in moderation. We never ever used a babysitter and so yes, sometimes we'd go out and had the kids iPads so we could get a break and talk. They were with me 24-7. If you are working and only have an hour or two a day with them, yes, that makes sense but some of our kids get our full attention all day every day.

My kid was translating Sanskrit at age 2.5 and calculating differential equations by 6. But this came so easy to her that we allowed some screen time too. Sorry your kid is so dumb.

[Anonymous]

The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

Maybe it’s the teaching and curriculum. I don’t think half of our teachers know the curriculum. We have to fill in with tutors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

Our kid's teachers use massive screens in the classroom, and have the kids play computer games during the school day. In kindergarten. It sounds like you are more interested in judging than in self reflection. Be the change you want to see!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

Our kid's teachers use massive screens in the classroom, and have the kids play computer games during the school day. In kindergarten. It sounds like you are more interested in judging than in self reflection. Be the change you want to see!

PP here. I do try to be that change — in how I work with your kids and with my own kids. That is my entire point. Another defensive post trying to blame someone else. There are some bad teachers, but most really care and work tirelessly. They certainly know the curriculum and they try to reduce screentime as much as possible. But tech use is encouraged in our district. We need to rethink who we elect to the school board and their priorities. But it can’t all happen at school. Building an attention span starts at home. I’m not judging; I’m pointing out my perspective based on my job. Computer games are blocked (other than educational things like quizlet and kahoot), so if your kid is playing them, they are getting links and codes from other students to get around the wall.

[Anonymous]

I agree 100%. But of course you’ve offended the hoards of parents that are too lazy to parent their kids. Teachers see it too. I mentioned to my kids seconds grade teacher during the course of the parent teacher conference in the fall that my kid doesn’t have a tablet and isn’t allowed video games and the teacher said “well there you go, that’s why he’s so well behaved and doing so well.”

[Anonymous]

My kids are 5 and 6 and only use screens on airplanes, 1x per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

Our kid's teachers use massive screens in the classroom, and have the kids play computer games during the school day. In kindergarten. It sounds like you are more interested in judging than in self reflection. Be the change you want to see!

PP here. I do try to be that change — in how I work with your kids and with my own kids. That is my entire point. Another defensive post trying to blame someone else. There are some bad teachers, but most really care and work tirelessly. They certainly know the curriculum and they try to reduce screentime as much as possible. But tech use is encouraged in our district. We need to rethink who we elect to the school board and their priorities. But it can’t all happen at school. Building an attention span starts at home. I’m not judging; I’m pointing out my perspective based on my job. Computer games are blocked (other than educational things like quizlet and kahoot), so if your kid is playing them, they are getting links and codes from other students to get around the wall.

Our math teacher for calc has the kids watch videos daily and tells them to figure it out. Our English teacher plays audiobooks and no discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 5 and 6 and only use screens on airplanes, 1x per year.

Good. Do this for as long as you can!

—Parent of teens

[Anonymous]

DC was on the two screen computer yesterday from 9 am to 10 pm. While at the computer, he had is phone on.
This is absolutely too much and we have days like this. I think his excuse was that everything else is so boring.
I don't worry about my kid and definitely not about someone else's. I truly believe most kids screen using kids will be fine. It's something else that does them in and screens make it worse.
I can't read and write for example, and I did fine in life retiring very early.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally agree but unfortunately it is very hard for parents to be fully present with their kids because they are all addicted too (myself included!). I really see recent history as divided between the pre smartphones times (before 2012) and post smartphone times. It is hard as an individual to go back to life before. So many important functions are tied to the smartphone and so it is very hard to not check it frequently and then you get sucked into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC was on the two screen computer yesterday from 9 am to 10 pm. While at the computer, he had is phone on.
This is absolutely too much and we have days like this. I think his excuse was that everything else is so boring.
I don't worry about my kid and definitely not about someone else's. I truly believe most kids screen using kids will be fine. It's something else that does them in and screens make it worse.
I can't read and write for example, and I did fine in life retiring very early.

How is this ok in any circumstances? And you can't read and write??

[Anonymous]

While I generally agree with the OP, I think it’s also bad when parents are completely stressed out and killing themselves to keep their kids entertained without screens. I know some parents who are constantly running their kid from one place to the next or coming up with all kinds of things to fill up their kids’ time, making themselves crazy in the process. Everyone needs some down time and it’s ok for kids to be bored sometimes. I am more of an “everything in moderation” person where screens are allowed at times on weekends. No personal screens on weekdays but TV is on the background for part of most evenings. The parents running themselves ragged during the week and then all weekend to keep their kids entertained without screens seem so exhausted. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing and I suspect it isn’t for most families. It’s easy to judge from a snapshot.