Do parents realize they are rotting their own and their children’s minds with screens?

[Anonymous]

Screens themselves aren't the problem. Problem is the amount of time kids/teens spend in front of them. They're wasting their childhoods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between a family watching a show together and screen time on phones in public. I had to drop something off at my DC's high school today and there were 3 kids who were late and were walking to school. They weren't a group, they were separate from one another. All three of them had their head down, shoulders hunched, and were watching their phones while they walked. One kid walked across the entire intersection at the stop light on his phone. Another kid I passed on my way in was still walking as I left and he was still staring down at his phone. It was striking.

Other than the amazing news that random driving mom noticed kids walking, what’s your point?

DP. Phone zombies are everywhere. I see teens and adults walking around our neighborhood, hunched over their phones while strolling. It's horrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Screens themselves aren't the problem. Problem is the amount of time kids/teens spend in front of them. They're wasting their childhoods.

Yes. Phones themselves are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between a family watching a show together and screen time on phones in public. I had to drop something off at my DC's high school today and there were 3 kids who were late and were walking to school. They weren't a group, they were separate from one another. All three of them had their head down, shoulders hunched, and were watching their phones while they walked. One kid walked across the entire intersection at the stop light on his phone. Another kid I passed on my way in was still walking as I left and he was still staring down at his phone. It was striking.

Other than the amazing news that random driving mom noticed kids walking, what’s your point?

DP. Phone zombies are everywhere. I see teens and adults walking around our neighborhood, hunched over their phones while strolling. It's horrifying.

Says the clown on her phone now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Screens themselves aren't the problem. Problem is the amount of time kids/teens spend in front of them. They're wasting their childhoods.

Yes. Phones themselves are the problem.

Well, yes, they are, I worded it incorrectly, but the amount of time kids/teens on screens is ridiculous and I was an 80s kids with Nintendo, TV ect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between a family watching a show together and screen time on phones in public. I had to drop something off at my DC's high school today and there were 3 kids who were late and were walking to school. They weren't a group, they were separate from one another. All three of them had their head down, shoulders hunched, and were watching their phones while they walked. One kid walked across the entire intersection at the stop light on his phone. Another kid I passed on my way in was still walking as I left and he was still staring down at his phone. It was striking.

Other than the amazing news that random driving mom noticed kids walking, what’s your point?

DP. Phone zombies are everywhere. I see teens and adults walking around our neighborhood, hunched over their phones while strolling. It's horrifying.

Says the clown on her phone now

Right? How do these idiots not see it?

Every mom posting here: we are the problem. Stop projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Screens themselves aren't the problem. Problem is the amount of time kids/teens spend in front of them. They're wasting their childhoods.

I mean unfortunately there really isn't much to do in childhood. Older millennials, Gen X, Boomers, all had childhoods where we ran feral. I spent all day outside with the neighborhood kids. H used to walk to and from school by age 6, including crossing busy streets, and would stop to get a pop at the store and play in the creek.

Now we can't really let kids do that. I don't - it's wildly unsafe where I live between cars and sketchy people. I can drive my kids to activities or places like the library but they can't go to those places on their own. We try to do playdates and go to parks but people are busy and usually can't make it.

I would love if we re-structured society so that neighborhoods with kids had places for them to get together and play, things were within walking distance, parents worked less, etc. but I don't see that happening in our lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

+1. The defensiveness is quite telling. The science agrees that we as a society are addicted, that children’s brain development is affected, and people are finding ways to defend that ? There is a mental health epidemic, there is an anger epidemic, and people’s egos are so big no one wants to look at the very real issue. Neuroscience is a difficult field , but extremely important as a tool to understand maybe one of the most valuable lessons we need to learn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

+1. The defensiveness is quite telling. The science agrees that we as a society are addicted, that children’s brain development is affected, and people are finding ways to defend that ? There is a mental health epidemic, there is an anger epidemic, and people’s egos are so big no one wants to look at the very real issue. Neuroscience is a difficult field , but extremely important as a tool to understand maybe one of the most valuable lessons we need to learn

Is that why you are here? To teach parents by berating them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

+1. The defensiveness is quite telling. The science agrees that we as a society are addicted, that children’s brain development is affected, and people are finding ways to defend that ? There is a mental health epidemic, there is an anger epidemic, and people’s egos are so big no one wants to look at the very real issue. Neuroscience is a difficult field , but extremely important as a tool to understand maybe one of the most valuable lessons we need to learn

No one is actually defending screen use. People are (rightly) telling OP (and you) that she (you) is in no position to be casting judgment. Because you’re both ALSO “phone zombies” setting terrible examples for YOUR OWN kids.

Worry about your own behavior, because there is plenty of room for improvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the OP and think this is a huge, societal problem. And the defensiveness on this thread is huge and telling. Unfortunately, there are no easy solutions. Raising kids and teaching kids are both incredibly hard. Screens can provide some relief. So this needs to be a bigger solution than just “do better.”

Personally, I struggle with this immensely. I’m doing okay with my kids so far (they’re in preschool, which makes it easier): screens on long plane or train rides, screens when they’re sick, and if we’re in a social situation at another family’s house and they turn on the TV, we don’t love it but whatever. Plus I know they get some screens at school. But beyond that, there’s no screens at home. So they routinely go weeks with zero screens on our watch. But I really struggle with screen time for myself. It’s just SO easy to pull your phone out when you have some downtime. It’s such a time waster, it’s bad for my attention and my mental health. I’ve recently installed the app “Opal” which blocks most apps and all websites on my phone after a cumulative hour of use each day. That’s helping, I’d recommend it for other folks who struggle with this.

Societal wide, I’d like to see:

-Way less screens in school. Get the smart boards out of preschool classrooms! No videos for recess when it’s raining - just let the kids play inside.

-More support for parents generally. Our society sucks at this. The more we can support families with paid leave, flexible work schedules, free PK, etc, the easier it is for parents and the less they’ll need to rely on screens.

-More tolerance in public spaces for kids. Sometimes kids cry, tantrum, misbehave, are loud. If this is “unacceptable” then the only answer is screens. My kids are very well behaved. But - sometimes these things happen, it’s part of learning. I address it immediately, but it’s still part of life.

-More acceptance of very small physical risks to kids. What does that mean? More independence. Kids walking to the park and playing unsupervised at younger ages. Kids taking public transit by themselves. Kids bike riding to each other’s houses. Kids using real saws and hammers to build stuff. Kids going to the store themselves. These risks are comically small, and yet we are scared so we limit them, and that leads to more nice, “safe,” screen time inside.

I’d be interested in other ideas from folks, particularly from parents of older kids.

It's not defensiveness. It's calling out OP's lack of self-awareness and fixation on judging parents, which is not helpful.

The best way to stop screen time in kids is to reduce our own screen time as adults. I doubt any of us can honestly say we aren't addicted to our devices. They were designed to be addictive. Edtech corruption means school systems are addicted to screens too. Kids literally cannot escape screens in our society as it is.

So instead of trying to shame parents for "rotting their kids' brains" or proposing general, unactionable solutions, let's focus on the source of the problem - the devices themselves. Please feel free to share the best tools and strategies for reducing your own screen time and that of your kids. My current strategy is to keep my phone in a different room when I am home. We also recently got a music player (think Toniebox/Yoto) that doesn't require a phone to operate.

Also please feel free to share how teachers are using screens in the classroom, to what extent their employers are requiring to use them (feel free to name and shame school systems) so parents can advocate against those requirements, and to what extent teachers feel compelled to use screens for other reasons as well as workarounds.

It really is. But of course, defensive people don’t like being called out for being defensive, so they desperately deflect. Oh well. DP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the OP and think this is a huge, societal problem. And the defensiveness on this thread is huge and telling. Unfortunately, there are no easy solutions. Raising kids and teaching kids are both incredibly hard. Screens can provide some relief. So this needs to be a bigger solution than just “do better.”

Personally, I struggle with this immensely. I’m doing okay with my kids so far (they’re in preschool, which makes it easier): screens on long plane or train rides, screens when they’re sick, and if we’re in a social situation at another family’s house and they turn on the TV, we don’t love it but whatever. Plus I know they get some screens at school. But beyond that, there’s no screens at home. So they routinely go weeks with zero screens on our watch. But I really struggle with screen time for myself. It’s just SO easy to pull your phone out when you have some downtime. It’s such a time waster, it’s bad for my attention and my mental health. I’ve recently installed the app “Opal” which blocks most apps and all websites on my phone after a cumulative hour of use each day. That’s helping, I’d recommend it for other folks who struggle with this.

Societal wide, I’d like to see:

-Way less screens in school. Get the smart boards out of preschool classrooms! No videos for recess when it’s raining - just let the kids play inside.

-More support for parents generally. Our society sucks at this. The more we can support families with paid leave, flexible work schedules, free PK, etc, the easier it is for parents and the less they’ll need to rely on screens.

-More tolerance in public spaces for kids. Sometimes kids cry, tantrum, misbehave, are loud. If this is “unacceptable” then the only answer is screens. My kids are very well behaved. But - sometimes these things happen, it’s part of learning. I address it immediately, but it’s still part of life.

-More acceptance of very small physical risks to kids. What does that mean? More independence. Kids walking to the park and playing unsupervised at younger ages. Kids taking public transit by themselves. Kids bike riding to each other’s houses. Kids using real saws and hammers to build stuff. Kids going to the store themselves. These risks are comically small, and yet we are scared so we limit them, and that leads to more nice, “safe,” screen time inside.

I’d be interested in other ideas from folks, particularly from parents of older kids.

As a tangent, I have realized that this varies by area. Here in the DMV, we have very high (i.e., unreasonable) expectations of children's behavior and it's very stressful for parents. There are other parts of the country, I have found when visiting relatives, that are much more tolerant/realistic about children. Everyone is more relaxed there and the children are more relaxed (not necessarily better or worse behaved).

Back to the topic: The screens/phones are 100% a huge issue and the question in the thread title, do parents realize they are rotting their own and their children's brains - the answer on this thread seems mostly to be No.

“If this is unacceptable, then the only answer is screens.”

No. Absolutely not. No. The fact that any adult thinks that statement is true is absolutely insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

Our kid's teachers use massive screens in the classroom, and have the kids play computer games during the school day. In kindergarten. It sounds like you are more interested in judging than in self reflection. Be the change you want to see!

PP here. I do try to be that change — in how I work with your kids and with my own kids. That is my entire point. Another defensive post trying to blame someone else. There are some bad teachers, but most really care and work tirelessly. They certainly know the curriculum and they try to reduce screentime as much as possible. But tech use is encouraged in our district. We need to rethink who we elect to the school board and their priorities. But it can’t all happen at school. Building an attention span starts at home. I’m not judging; I’m pointing out my perspective based on my job. Computer games are blocked (other than educational things like quizlet and kahoot), so if your kid is playing them, they are getting links and codes from other students to get around the wall.

Of course most teachers really care. Most are still using screens a lot in the classroom. And asking kids to use screens to complete and turn in assignments. Maybe focus on that instead of sh&t posting about parents. I don't know why teachers insist on bashing parents online. I don't think it makes you more effective - on the contrary, I think it serves as an excuse.

Let's all focus on working on ourselves instead of attacking each other.

Oh, that’s funny. In reality, it’s the parents desperately deflecting responsibility and making endless excuses.

So you're not going to make an effort to stop demanding students use screens. Thanks for sharing.

How would I do that, when I’m a parent and not a teacher? Fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree 100%. But of course you’ve offended the hoards of parents that are too lazy to parent their kids. Teachers see it too. I mentioned to my kids seconds grade teacher during the course of the parent teacher conference in the fall that my kid doesn’t have a tablet and isn’t allowed video games and the teacher said “well there you go, that’s why he’s so well behaved and doing so well.”

You realize the teacher was giving you the verbal equivalent of a pat on the head like the needy little lapdog you are, don’t you?

Wow wow wow this topic really hits a nerve for some people!

Yes. They are positively RAGING at the very notion that they bear any responsibility for the screen addled kids they’re raising. Astonishing.

My kids use screens all the time, but I’m not remotely concerned. I am concerned about people like you, however. You are clearly deeply unhappy, and no amount of keeping your kids off of screens while you angrily fat finger your way through yet another post in DCUM is going to fix that, I’m afraid.

I’m happy as a clam. You’re projecting. It’s super transparent, FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The defensiveness of so many PPs speaks volumes. I work at a public school and can assure you that our society is INDEED circling the drain based on what I see day in and day out. Kids have NO attention span and scores keep dropping — yet multiple teachers have taught the content in multiple modalities, key concepts are posted on the wall, and in some cases the tests are open notebook! Their school laptops absolutely need to go, too! What a problem we have on our hands. I realize correlation does not prove causation, but I’m sure it’s an “all of the above” situation, where both parents AND kids are on screens while brains are developing and none of what kids actually need is happening.

Even if you feel you or your kids overuse screens, you can start somewhere. Enforce time limits by age as recommended by experts. Read to your children daily. Do screen free activities or days together…increase these over time. Designate screen-free spaces like the dinner table. Delay phone ownership for kids as long as possible. Limit social media use. No screens in kids’ bedrooms. How I wish everyone realized the education landscape. It’s bad!

And some experts are finding symptoms of ADHD in some kids can lessen/disappear if ALL screens are removed. Wow. Definitely worthy of so much more research. Rather than getting defensive, we could all benefit from greater self-reflection on this front.

Our kid's teachers use massive screens in the classroom, and have the kids play computer games during the school day. In kindergarten. It sounds like you are more interested in judging than in self reflection. Be the change you want to see!

PP here. I do try to be that change — in how I work with your kids and with my own kids. That is my entire point. Another defensive post trying to blame someone else. There are some bad teachers, but most really care and work tirelessly. They certainly know the curriculum and they try to reduce screentime as much as possible. But tech use is encouraged in our district. We need to rethink who we elect to the school board and their priorities. But it can’t all happen at school. Building an attention span starts at home. I’m not judging; I’m pointing out my perspective based on my job. Computer games are blocked (other than educational things like quizlet and kahoot), so if your kid is playing them, they are getting links and codes from other students to get around the wall.

Screens are *completely unnecessary* in schools. You’re a judgmental hag and YOU are responsible for “rottings kids’ brains” every single time you fire up a screen in class or tell the students to do so. But you are too lazy and incompetent to change, so you try to blame parents for their kids using screens when you REQUIRE their kids to use screens.

Idiot.

^^^ The same type of disrespectful attitude we get from many kids at school, too (speaking of being the change…). Funny that you think teachers have the choice to not use screens. I happen to agree they are unnecessary, but all standardized tests are now online. How would you have students complete these?

Maybe teachers should get a freaking backbone and stand up to these idiotic rules instead of abdicating all of their responsibility and pointing fingers at the parents? Just a thought.

(I am not surprised your students don’t respect you. Kids have extremely well calibrated hypocrisy meters.)

It's effectively impossible for teachers to go against the Department of Education or local school boards. Many teachers would love to go back to textbooks and get rid of all screens. Unfortunately, that's not possible. And it's parents that vote for the school boards and the Department of Education officials that are mandating screens. If you don't want screens in schools, vote differently. But you won't. You will always vote for progressives and more tech and then complain when the results are predictably catastrophic.

What was that, dear? Admitting it’s the schools’ fault while continuing to blame parents, are you?

Oops. You lost four words in. You wasted your keystrokes on the rest.