Do parents realize they are rotting their own and their children’s minds with screens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

Maybe mom or nanny spends many more hours with their kids 1-1 than you do so you are trying to fill every minute as you don't spend much time with them vs. these people need a break.

This nanny is probably picking these kids up and taking them home to actually bake a pie (not just talk about how it is done) and the PP is criticizing her for taking a few minutes to collect herself before the chaos of a full day with kids sets in. Meanwhile I’m sure PP is heading to a child-free office while someone else does the nitty gritty day-to-day childcare of her children during the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

yeah I think the pp was empathizing with the kids in the example and taking their perspective. It’s ok to feel that way.

Sure, it's OK to feel judgmental, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

I don’t disagree with the stay in your lane idea here, but I do think a big reason our culture lacks empathy is because of screens. Many teenagers and young adults raised on screens do not know how to talk to others - they are so used to talking from behind a keyboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's an idea - stop dragging the other kids to their boring sibling's basketball games. That's not fair to them. Or, long drives. I'm ok with kids using devices in moderation. Parent your own kids - well, clearly you are only to your favorite child.

Kids can handle boredom - that’s the point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

I don’t disagree with the stay in your lane idea here, but I do think a big reason our culture lacks empathy is because of screens. Many teenagers and young adults raised on screens do not know how to talk to others - they are so used to talking from behind a keyboard.

The irony of OP's post is that she herself lacks empathy to write a post like this on a social media platform while simultaneously judging people for being on screens...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

yeah I think the pp was empathizing with the kids in the example and taking their perspective. It’s ok to feel that way.

Sure, it's OK to feel judgmental, right?

It’s natural, and you’re doing it right now, and it is what it is. Being judgmental and being right/wrong are still independent of one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

Maybe mom or nanny spends many more hours with their kids 1-1 than you do so you are trying to fill every minute as you don't spend much time with them vs. these people need a break.

This nanny is probably picking these kids up and taking them home to actually bake a pie (not just talk about how it is done) and the PP is criticizing her for taking a few minutes to collect herself before the chaos of a full day with kids sets in. Meanwhile I’m sure PP is heading to a child-free office while someone else does the nitty gritty day-to-day childcare of her children during the week.

For whatever it's worth we were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, and we talked about the pie because we were going to bake after getting home from lunch. The nanny takes the kids to preschool/daycare from their home in the mornings. The older kid told me once. And I don't fill every minute talking with mine - once we were seated I was looking at the menu, talking with the other people we were meeting, etc. There are definitely times I need a break - everyone with young kids does - but I don't fill those times with screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

I don’t disagree with the stay in your lane idea here, but I do think a big reason our culture lacks empathy is because of screens. Many teenagers and young adults raised on screens do not know how to talk to others - they are so used to talking from behind a keyboard.

They actually do. Its just different and has nothign to do with empathy. My kids were reading by age 3. Was yours? And, yes they had screens in moderation. We never ever used a babysitter and so yes, sometimes we'd go out and had the kids iPads so we could get a break and talk. They were with me 24-7. If you are working and only have an hour or two a day with them, yes, that makes sense but some of our kids get our full attention all day every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

Maybe mom or nanny spends many more hours with their kids 1-1 than you do so you are trying to fill every minute as you don't spend much time with them vs. these people need a break.

This nanny is probably picking these kids up and taking them home to actually bake a pie (not just talk about how it is done) and the PP is criticizing her for taking a few minutes to collect herself before the chaos of a full day with kids sets in. Meanwhile I’m sure PP is heading to a child-free office while someone else does the nitty gritty day-to-day childcare of her children during the week.

For whatever it's worth we were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, and we talked about the pie because we were going to bake after getting home from lunch. The nanny takes the kids to preschool/daycare from their home in the mornings. The older kid told me once. And I don't fill every minute talking with mine - once we were seated I was looking at the menu, talking with the other people we were meeting, etc. There are definitely times I need a break - everyone with young kids does - but I don't fill those times with screens.

You know whats annoying is others having to listen to your loud voice talking and narrating al this. Its annoying and obnoxious. Sounds like you don't spend much time with your kids. It sounds like you barely get time with them if they are in day care AND a nanny and that's more sad for the kids than screens are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

Maybe mom or nanny spends many more hours with their kids 1-1 than you do so you are trying to fill every minute as you don't spend much time with them vs. these people need a break.

This nanny is probably picking these kids up and taking them home to actually bake a pie (not just talk about how it is done) and the PP is criticizing her for taking a few minutes to collect herself before the chaos of a full day with kids sets in. Meanwhile I’m sure PP is heading to a child-free office while someone else does the nitty gritty day-to-day childcare of her children during the week.

For whatever it's worth we were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, and we talked about the pie because we were going to bake after getting home from lunch. The nanny takes the kids to preschool/daycare from their home in the mornings. The older kid told me once. And I don't fill every minute talking with mine - once we were seated I was looking at the menu, talking with the other people we were meeting, etc. There are definitely times I need a break - everyone with young kids does - but I don't fill those times with screens.

You know whats annoying is others having to listen to your loud voice talking and narrating al this. It's annoying and obnoxious. Sounds like you don't spend much time with your kids. It sounds like you barely get time with them if they are in day care AND a nanny and that's more sad for the kids than screens are.

Are you confused? When I was. talking to the 5 yr old about clouds and the post office we were standing outside. I don't know why you think my voice is loud - it's not. And it's not MY kids who are in daycare and have a nanny - it's the kids I see at the bus stop most mornings who are given a phone by their nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

I don’t disagree with the stay in your lane idea here, but I do think a big reason our culture lacks empathy is because of screens. Many teenagers and young adults raised on screens do not know how to talk to others - they are so used to talking from behind a keyboard.

They actually do. Its just different and has nothign to do with empathy. My kids were reading by age 3. Was yours? And, yes they had screens in moderation. We never ever used a babysitter and so yes, sometimes we'd go out and had the kids iPads so we could get a break and talk. They were with me 24-7. If you are working and only have an hour or two a day with them, yes, that makes sense but some of our kids get our full attention all day every day.

What’s your point though? The pp is saying heavy screen use can cause antisocial behavior/anxiety. You’re saying your kids had screens in moderation and are fine. Do you even disagree?

[Anonymous]

You're right, but it pains me to say it because you're so self-righteous and unpleasant about it. Think twice about creating posts just to dump on other people, it doesn't reflect well on you. I'm sure you're not any better than they are, and that you have massive faults yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see so many children seemingly addicted to phones/ipads. They can’t watch their sibling’s basketball game… they can’t look out the window for a 20 min train ride or interact with their parents or siblings… I guess they get “bored” and can’t bear to be alone with their thoughts so they need a phone or iPad stuffed in front of them.

No wonder when you look at their parents are no better. Always a phone in their face, scrolling, scrolling. Stuff a phone in front of junior so senior can get his fill of TikTok for the day.

You can flame me, you can call me a hypocrite for being on DCUM. But being on my phone for 30 min at night after a full day is very different from having it in my face all day.

Our society is going to ruin with these smartphones.

I can see you occupy all that wonderful screen free time staring and strangers and then speculating about their lives and judging them. Then posting your deep thoughts about them on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's an idea - stop dragging the other kids to their boring sibling's basketball games. That's not fair to them. Or, long drives. I'm ok with kids using devices in moderation. Parent your own kids - well, clearly you are only to your favorite child.

I agree with this. I was dragged to every one of my (favored) older siblings sports practices and games (practices!), and I still hold it against my parents to this day. I wasted so much of my life learning nothing, doing nothing. My parents never once brought toys or books for me. Playing under the bleachers in a hot gym is not somehow magical and valuable. I would have been better off at least learning some new vocabulary watching shows on a tablet.

My kids are only allowed screens on planes and road trips. There is a middle ground. They will not be forced to attend siblings’ activities. Nothing wrong with TV when there is legitimately nothing else to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes me sad is seeing a toddler pushed in a stroller holding a phone or iPad rather than looking at the world around them. I take a bus to work and there is often a nanny with a 2 yr old and 3 yr old waiting for the same bus. If we have more than a minute wait, she gives the older one her phone. Once we're on the bus, the kids are on the phone together. Why they can't play I Spy or practice counting, I don't know.

I waited in a 20 minute line Sunday with a 5 yr old, and we practiced days of the week, talked about rain and puddles and clouds, steps to making a pie, the types of things people go to the post office for, etc. I think he can do this because he's always done it - he's never had a phone or iPad in the stroller or car or highchair.

What makes me sad is all the judgements people like you give to everyone. We are such a polarized society of perfect people - "if-only-everyone-can-be-like-me people". Since you are perfect, there is no room for growth and introspection. Your kids, I'm sure, are perfect too. Did you flashcard how to be perfect while you were in line at the post office? It might be on that kindergarten readiness assessment.

Imagine a world where we empathize with people and understand events from multiple perspectives, like maybe other people's perspectives..... the world would be a different place.

I don’t disagree with the stay in your lane idea here, but I do think a big reason our culture lacks empathy is because of screens. Many teenagers and young adults raised on screens do not know how to talk to others - they are so used to talking from behind a keyboard.

They actually do. Its just different and has nothign to do with empathy. My kids were reading by age 3. Was yours? And, yes they had screens in moderation. We never ever used a babysitter and so yes, sometimes we'd go out and had the kids iPads so we could get a break and talk. They were with me 24-7. If you are working and only have an hour or two a day with them, yes, that makes sense but some of our kids get our full attention all day every day.

What’s your point though? The pp is saying heavy screen use can cause antisocial behavior/anxiety. You’re saying your kids had screens in moderation and are fine. Do you even disagree?

The point is its not true and they are nasty and judgemental and need to worry about their own kids.