I hate how fraternities brag that they are so great when they reject most students

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fraternities like to brag about how they are a great way to make friends and connections when most people will never end up in a single chapter. They are exclusionary. Like at UVA, half of the guys rushing never end up a bid anywhere, which is especially painful when UVA itself is extremely hard to get in. It is sick because rush isn't a meritocracy like sport tryouts are. There is no clear criteria of what makes someone a better candidate for a fraternity over another student. It is a process full of nepotism, and those who get in receive all the benefits on a college campus. And no one cares about making the process more fair.

And what makes me even more sick is that this forum is filled with former fraternity and sorority members who wants to bully and attack those who got rejected. So many people hate greek life for being elitist and bullies, and many members are proving those concerns right.

None of this is contradictory.

They are a great way to make connections if you get in. Most don't get in.

OP, this is like money -- money is a great way to buy things, if you have a lot of it. Most don't. That doesn't mean money isn't great for buying things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many clubs at college are exclusive and hard to join too, some even more so than social Greek life. The just “sign up” clubs often fall apart. Finding a group doesn’t seem as easy as it used to be.

I think that is definitely the trend. I went to a small school without a Greek scene, but most of the clubs had some sort of competitive process to get in, and it's only become more that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rush is great preparation for the real world. Not everyone is going to like you, you may not be a good fit or your skills/likeness fit in with the culture and you are exactly what is needed. Go where you are wanted. Most kids these days seem to have a very different view of themselves versus what everyone else sees. Kids from the DC area seem to think they are “better” than kids from other areas and rush may actually be a good wake up call

Don't lie to yourself. You know full well that fraternities and sororities place great weight on a certain look and manner - you need to be handsome in a certain way, presentable in a certain way, and talk in a certain way. And white American for a lot of the frats and sororities. A whole lot of diverse populations who might do very well in the real world get left out of that. The real world is actually much wider and more tolerant than you think it is, with careers to suit a great many intellects and social profiles.

My husband is an Asian MD/PhD on the spectrum - he doesn't do small talk, he doesn't present particularly well, he wouldn't check any of the standard boxes. He would never have had a chance in a Greek life system. How can you be so stupid to believe that rushing is a great preparation for the real world? And yet he's done exceptionally well for himself in the real world, because older people looking for real professional talent aren't as shallow as most young idiots in frats and sororities.

What a moron you are.

I’m not going to resort to name calling but please face reality. Your husband would not be hired for a public facing job because he likely lacks the skills needed. Greek life is essentially a social club. You need to be presentable and have social skills. There are clubs and jobs for everyone. People should know where they would do best.

Not everyone wants to be a salesman

[Anonymous]

When I was in college, I had a friend who was plied with alcohol until she passed out and then sexually assaulted by three fraternity brothers. She could never come forward because she would have been ostracized at her sorority. Does that still happen? On the off chance that it does, I told DS that he will never, over my dead body join a frat.

[Anonymous]

You do realize this could happen at any party. Just stop it on the frats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do realize this could happen at any party. Just stop it on the frats

pp here- agreed it could have happened at any party. What may not have happened however, was the "systemic code of silence or face retaliation" that followed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fraternities like to brag about how they are a great way to make friends and connections when most people will never end up in a single chapter. They are exclusionary. Like at UVA, half of the guys rushing never end up a bid anywhere, which is especially painful when UVA itself is extremely hard to get in. It is sick because rush isn't a meritocracy like sport tryouts are. There is no clear criteria of what makes someone a better candidate for a fraternity over another student. It is a process full of nepotism, and those who get in receive all the benefits on a college campus. And no one cares about making the process more fair.

And what makes me even more sick is that this forum is filled with former fraternity and sorority members who wants to bully and attack those who got rejected. So many people hate greek life for being elitist and bullies, and many members are proving those concerns right.

It's just like coplege admissions.

[Anonymous]

I was in a Frat at UVA and wife was at a Sorority. We will NEVER tell our DS to join a Fraternity.

We know that 80% of Frat kids and 70% of Sorority girls are losers in life. Either a bunch of followers with no spine, or so introverted that you need to pay for friends, or so worry about status that this becomes 50% of your life. Complete joke.

It is 2025. There is no need for Greek system to exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize this could happen at any party. Just stop it on the frats

pp here- agreed it could have happened at any party. What may not have happened however, was the "systemic code of silence or face retaliation" that followed.

baloney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a Frat at UVA and wife was at a Sorority. We will NEVER tell our DS to join a Fraternity.

We know that 80% of Frat kids and 70% of Sorority girls are losers in life. Either a bunch of followers with no spine, or so introverted that you need to pay for friends, or so worry about status that this becomes 50% of your life. Complete joke.

It is 2025. There is no need for Greek system to exist.

troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to VT. Nobody gives a sh@t. Yes- there’s Greek life but it’s not a BFD.

+1
I have two DCs there right now and neither rushed. They had a great group of friends from living in the dorms freshman year and had no desire to go through that whole ridiculous process. Both are members of other clubs and organizations and have a full social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many clubs at college are exclusive and hard to join too, some even more so than social Greek life. The just “sign up” clubs often fall apart. Finding a group doesn’t seem as easy as it used to be.

My kid is at a T40, and majority of clubs are open to anyone. There might be a few that are exclusive, and most of those are "performance groups"---dance, music, theater and you must audition to get in. However, there are also plenty of similar "performance groups" that are literally open to everyone---as long as you show up routinely for rehearsals and activities, you are a part of the group. For dance/music--if you want to be part of 4 pieces, you will get put into 4 pieces at the level they deem you ready for. So yes there is a little competition--and yes, freshman year, you will be denied from a few more advanced groups that they give to juniors and seniors, despite the fact you might actually be a better dancer. But you are still put in a group for that type of dance. And also know that when you are a junior/senior, you will get into those groups (even if you are not the top dancers)

But most clubs are "you show up and participate and if you want to be active you can". Those who are more active get to make more decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize this could happen at any party. Just stop it on the frats

pp here- agreed it could have happened at any party. What may not have happened however, was the "systemic code of silence or face retaliation" that followed.

baloney

It is baloney because:
a) she went to
the party knowing alcohol would be served;
b) she chose to drink;
c) she wasn't plied with anything;
d) she could have reported it easily to the school or police. It's done all of the time.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak to any experience other than what we had at MIT, but our goal was to match as many girls as possible to the sororities with their highest preference possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a Frat at UVA and wife was at a Sorority. We will NEVER tell our DS to join a Fraternity.

We know that 80% of Frat kids and 70% of Sorority girls are losers in life. Either a bunch of followers with no spine, or so introverted that you need to pay for friends, or so worry about status that this becomes 50% of your life. Complete joke.

It is 2025. There is no need for Greek system to exist.

Or, even easier, just don't participate ! UVA isn't like W&M where 76% of the student body participates. My UVA kid spent four happy years there and never once stepped into a Greek house. It's only 26% participation there.