I hate how fraternities brag that they are so great when they reject most students

[Anonymous]

Fraternities like to brag about how they are a great way to make friends and connections when most people will never end up in a single chapter. They are exclusionary. Like at UVA, half of the guys rushing never end up a bid anywhere, which is especially painful when UVA itself is extremely hard to get in. It is sick because rush isn't a meritocracy like sport tryouts are. There is no clear criteria of what makes someone a better candidate for a fraternity over another student. It is a process full of nepotism, and those who get in receive all the benefits on a college campus. And no one cares about making the process more fair.

And what makes me even more sick is that this forum is filled with former fraternity and sorority members who wants to bully and attack those who got rejected. So many people hate greek life for being elitist and bullies, and many members are proving those concerns right.

[Anonymous]

I was in a fraternity and think Greek life is absurd in hindsight. But to be fair, most of your first paragraph is basically a description of the real world. This process may not be the worst thing for these kids to experience.

[Anonymous]

Of course joining a fraternity (or sorority) isn't a meritocracy. It's a popularity contest, based on appearance, connections, and money. Why would you think it's any different?

If your student doesn't want to be part of that system, don't go to a school where they are the dominant social life.

[Anonymous]

I guess somebody’s kid didn’t get a bid.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to defend the UVA frat rush system because I think it's very hard to get a bid because of how they do not force you to attend all of the fraternities, like they do with sororities. what happens is that guys go to maybe 6-8 chapters during open house (there are 28 total or something like that) and then they follow through with those and ultimately get dropped. Again like sororities, those are likely the most popular chapters and most of those already have their pledge class in mind. If the guys could spend more time at ALL of the options they would likely find a home for them. My DS is in a fraternity there and has loved it. They are not considered a "top" fraternity, but it has a great brotherhood and it's been awesome for him to break out of his shyness and meet lots of other guys. he lives in the house and is watching the Commanders game with a big group of fraternity brothers. My DS only went to about 3 or 4 chapters during open house (it was virtual) and to this day he wished he had given more thought to which, but he is happy with where he landed. I think the upper tier fraternities keep guys in the process for too long only to cut them eventually. That's one good thing about sororities that they HAVE to consider all the available options, which directs them to the places that match with them, rather than just what the girls think is popular or cool.

[Anonymous]

Aren’t you a bit old for a fraternity? And probably the wrong gender

[Anonymous]

It's all the worst instincts of human tribalism, but held up as some sort of desirable lifestyle.

I'm European and never had to deal with that sort of thing in my university, but I'm surprised that Americans, supposedly more egalitarian than many others around the world, would aspire to such things. My kids have no interest in any of it, thank goodness.

And please. There's nothing greek about it. What's up with purloining all the greek letters of the alphabet? So try-hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fraternities like to brag about how they are a great way to make friends and connections when most people will never end up in a single chapter. They are exclusionary. Like at UVA, half of the guys rushing never end up a bid anywhere, which is especially painful when UVA itself is extremely hard to get in. It is sick because rush isn't a meritocracy like sport tryouts are. There is no clear criteria of what makes someone a better candidate for a fraternity over another student. It is a process full of nepotism, and those who get in receive all the benefits on a college campus. And no one cares about making the process more fair.

And what makes me even more sick is that this forum is filled with former fraternity and sorority members who wants to bully and attack those who got rejected. So many people hate greek life for being elitist and bullies, and many members are proving those concerns right.

Start a new fraternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fraternities like to brag about how they are a great way to make friends and connections when most people will never end up in a single chapter. They are exclusionary. Like at UVA, half of the guys rushing never end up a bid anywhere, which is especially painful when UVA itself is extremely hard to get in. It is sick because rush isn't a meritocracy like sport tryouts are. There is no clear criteria of what makes someone a better candidate for a fraternity over another student. It is a process full of nepotism, and those who get in receive all the benefits on a college campus. And no one cares about making the process more fair.

And what makes me even more sick is that this forum is filled with former fraternity and sorority members who wants to bully and attack those who got rejected. So many people hate greek life for being elitist and bullies, and many members are proving those concerns right.

While I agree with most of your post, the bolded is just not true and ridiculous. In no way shape or form does one have to go Greek to "receive all the benefits on a college campus." Where did you get that idea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not going to defend the UVA frat rush system because I think it's very hard to get a bid because of how they do not force you to attend all of the fraternities, like they do with sororities. what happens is that guys go to maybe 6-8 chapters during open house (there are 28 total or something like that) and then they follow through with those and ultimately get dropped. Again like sororities, those are likely the most popular chapters and most of those already have their pledge class in mind. If the guys could spend more time at ALL of the options they would likely find a home for them. My DS is in a fraternity there and has loved it. They are not considered a "top" fraternity, but it has a great brotherhood and it's been awesome for him to break out of his shyness and meet lots of other guys. he lives in the house and is watching the Commanders game with a big group of fraternity brothers. My DS only went to about 3 or 4 chapters during open house (it was virtual) and to this day he wished he had given more thought to which, but he is happy with where he landed. I think the upper tier fraternities keep guys in the process for too long only to cut them eventually. That's one good thing about sororities that they HAVE to consider all the available options, which directs them to the places that match with them, rather than just what the girls think is popular or cool.

My DS rushed three times, including to many of the low tier chapters, and got denied from all of them. I don’t think you understand how competitive it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are exclusionary.

That's kind of the whole idea, right? What were you expecting?

[Anonymous]

Go to VT. Nobody gives a sh@t. Yes- there’s Greek life but it’s not a BFD.

[Anonymous]

Oh that is true, it’s like the Ivys — it wasn’t participating in the fraternities that gave the boost, they already had that baked in and were selected for it

[Anonymous]

OP- you’re sick over it?

[Anonymous]

Rush is great preparation for the real world. Not everyone is going to like you, you may not be a good fit or your skills/likeness fit in with the culture and you are exactly what is needed. Go where you are wanted. Most kids these days seem to have a very different view of themselves versus what everyone else sees. Kids from the DC area seem to think they are “better” than kids from other areas and rush may actually be a good wake up call