Does anyone thinking about leaving fed job (or taking a break) if forced to RTO 5 days a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

And that’s exactly what we as a society should be discouraging. Allow parents to work with WFH or hybrid arrangements so that kids are not sitting in daycare for 10 hrs, it’s not good for the kids. Support working parents and we might get a society with more functional people, destroy and overwork families and we will deserve every bit of dysfunction coming our way.

I am not a Fed btw, I do feel strongly about this issue though. If hybrid work environment is getting the work done and a family is able to have healthier meals, plus their kids spend more time with parents then what exactly is the problem? This should be a no brainer, I can understand PPs for argument coming from an uneducated person but not from a supposedly educated person. Shame on you, PP!

This. They set up a situation where people have to both work to make ends meet but then make childcare impossible and then are wondering why people aren't having babies.

[Anonymous]

I won’t be happy with it for long, especially if I can’t flex my start and end times. Dinner and breakfast with my family means a lot to me. I don’t want my teenager home alone for five hours after school every day. I like being around—even if we aren’t interacting, everyone stays on track with homework and laundry etc. I could never go back to how we used to live, I’d prefer living on less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think about it but probably not. We were considering a move that would lengthen my commute and have shelved it.

If you’ve been government 15 years, then know if you leave and come back you’ll be in the higher amount of pension contribution.

That is not true. You go back into the system you started in on your first day. I know this because I left and came back after the change and I stayed in the old system. What is noteworthy is that they do not have to respect your GS level if you stay away more than 3 years. Left as a 15 step 3 and returned as a 14 step 1. It was the right decision for my family but it pissed me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

And that’s exactly what we as a society should be discouraging. Allow parents to work with WFH or hybrid arrangements so that kids are not sitting in daycare for 10 hrs, it’s not good for the kids. Support working parents and we might get a society with more functional people, destroy and overwork families and we will deserve every bit of dysfunction coming our way.

I am not a Fed btw, I do feel strongly about this issue though. If hybrid work environment is getting the work done and a family is able to have healthier meals, plus their kids spend more time with parents then what exactly is the problem? This should be a no brainer, I can understand PPs for argument coming from an uneducated person but not from a supposedly educated person. Shame on you, PP!

I agree with all of this.

I hope PP understands that the argument “well, things sucked for parents before, so get over yourselves!” is compelling exactly nobody to their side. It’s like saying that there shouldn’t be parental leave just because people didn’t commonly have it before. We’ve evolved past that. We’ve actually evolved to a society that is better for not only parents but for other people; hybrid and fully remote work is insanely popular. And there’s no good reason to take it away except (1) real estate interests and (2) pure spite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll go back. I'll be much more of a clock watcher, though.

However, we are 50% in the office, as we don't have space for everyone. Where will they put us?

We have had dozens of posts of “but no space” — they don’t care. You need to badge in and find a corner of floor. They do not care about productivity, enough bathrooms, HVAC, comfort or anything. They want you in and miserable so you will quit.

So stop with that line of concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have the luxury to “take a break” from working.

This. I would stick it out. They’ll give up eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Seriously, get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

She said it wasn't worth it to her.
I see this "lots of people make it work" argument all the time but why would somebody merely make it work when they have options? People want to be around their families during waking hours, and if they can do so they will.

That said, I don't actually know any families with 2 parents working full time in DC and the long daycare hours etc. Either they're both hybrid, or one parent commutes and the other is part time or a teacher or WFH or shift work (nursing) so that they can be available. I think the families with school aged kids and two significant commutes 5 days/week are not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the higher earner in my household, so I will go back. I already bought a parking pass just in case. It will cost us plenty in driving/parking but the big impact is to my non-fed DH, who will need to limit himself to remote roles so he can handle the to/from school situation. Right now we split it because we each work hybrid.

What did you do before COVID in terms of getting kids to and from school situation?

Not PP but I was remote before COVID.

A different PP but my kids were previously in daycare with longer full time hours. Now they’re in school which is a different situation with before/ after care, school closures, and summer camp.

People don't understand the situation for FCPS parents. Your kid either has school that starts at 9:20 or ends at some other ungodly hour early in the afternoon, and SACC/before/after care is scarce. We have before care, but we're still on the waitlist for aftercare. Praying it comes through soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

She said it wasn't worth it to her.
I see this "lots of people make it work" argument all the time but why would somebody merely make it work when they have options? People want to be around their families during waking hours, and if they can do so they will.

That said, I don't actually know any families with 2 parents working full time in DC and the long daycare hours etc. Either they're both hybrid, or one parent commutes and the other is part time or a teacher or WFH or shift work (nursing) so that they can be available. I think the families with school aged kids and two significant commutes 5 days/week are not the norm.

Let’s talk Tuesday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

She said it wasn't worth it to her.
I see this "lots of people make it work" argument all the time but why would somebody merely make it work when they have options? People want to be around their families during waking hours, and if they can do so they will.

That said, I don't actually know any families with 2 parents working full time in DC and the long daycare hours etc. Either they're both hybrid, or one parent commutes and the other is part time or a teacher or WFH or shift work (nursing) so that they can be available. I think the families with school aged kids and two significant commutes 5 days/week are not the norm.

It’s absolutely not the norm anymore. And everyone is better off for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

She said it wasn't worth it to her.
I see this "lots of people make it work" argument all the time but why would somebody merely make it work when they have options? People want to be around their families during waking hours, and if they can do so they will.

That said, I don't actually know any families with 2 parents working full time in DC and the long daycare hours etc. Either they're both hybrid, or one parent commutes and the other is part time or a teacher or WFH or shift work (nursing) so that they can be available. I think the families with school aged kids and two significant commutes 5 days/week are not the norm.

It’s absolutely not the norm anymore. And everyone is better off for it.

To press that a little - it was not the norm before covid either. School aged kids don't go to 12-hour daycares and you can't enroll them near your work like you can with daycare. So, many profeasional families had a mommy tracked spouse to make it work. Pandemic WFH made it possible for those spouses to get better jobs and still get to aftercare before it closes at 5:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go back. I'll be much more of a clock watcher, though.

However, we are 50% in the office, as we don't have space for everyone. Where will they put us?

We have had dozens of posts of “but no space” — they don’t care. You need to badge in and find a corner of floor. They do not care about productivity, enough bathrooms, HVAC, comfort or anything. They want you in and miserable so you will quit.

So stop with that line of concern.

+1

But I suggest people keep calling the fire marshall every day about these violations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go back. I'll be much more of a clock watcher, though.

However, we are 50% in the office, as we don't have space for everyone. Where will they put us?

We have had dozens of posts of “but no space” — they don’t care. You need to badge in and find a corner of floor. They do not care about productivity, enough bathrooms, HVAC, comfort or anything. They want you in and miserable so you will quit.

So stop with that line of concern.

+1

But I suggest people keep calling the fire marshall every day about these violations.

What if there is literally not enough space to fit everyone even if they only have a chair? Then go sit on one of the two bathrooms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll go back. I'll be much more of a clock watcher, though.

However, we are 50% in the office, as we don't have space for everyone. Where will they put us?

We have had dozens of posts of “but no space” — they don’t care. You need to badge in and find a corner of floor. They do not care about productivity, enough bathrooms, HVAC, comfort or anything. They want you in and miserable so you will quit.

So stop with that line of concern.

+1

But I suggest people keep calling the fire marshall every day about these violations.

What if there is literally not enough space to fit everyone even if they only have a chair? Then go sit on one of the two bathrooms?

I don’t know the answer to that but also know the people making these decisions do not care. Call the fire Marshall every day on your way to work.