Does anyone thinking about leaving fed job (or taking a break) if forced to RTO 5 days a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

And that’s exactly what we as a society should be discouraging. Allow parents to work with WFH or hybrid arrangements so that kids are not sitting in daycare for 10 hrs, it’s not good for the kids. Support working parents and we might get a society with more functional people, destroy and overwork families and we will deserve every bit of dysfunction coming our way.

I am not a Fed btw, I do feel strongly about this issue though. If hybrid work environment is getting the work done and a family is able to have healthier meals, plus their kids spend more time with parents then what exactly is the problem? This should be a no brainer, I can understand PPs for argument coming from an uneducated person but not from a supposedly educated person. Shame on you, PP!

This. They set up a situation where people have to both work to make ends meet but then make childcare impossible and then are wondering why people aren't having babies.

There are lots of single moms in the U.S. They have a difficult situation. Families with two grown adults have double the income. They could live like the single parents do.

[Anonymous]

If your agency allows it, why not switch to a part-time schedule, rather than resign. That would reduce your in-office days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your agency allows it, why not switch to a part-time schedule, rather than resign. That would reduce your in-office days.

I'm one of the pp's- I'm already part time. If my commute is 1-1.5 hrs depending on how I hit the metro and connector bus, that is 2-3 hours per day in order to work 6 hours a day for a prorated salary under 65k. Is it really worth the effort?

[Anonymous]

Why do people get worked up over this BEFORE a decision is made? If you worked in the office pre-Covid, are you surprised you may be asked to RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people get worked up over this BEFORE a decision is made? If you worked in the office pre-Covid, are you surprised you may be asked to RTO?

Many things change over time with technology. When I first started working from home (way before Covid)it was on the one shared section laptop with no access to connect to the office systems. Now I am fully functional and my coworkers live in several cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people get worked up over this BEFORE a decision is made? If you worked in the office pre-Covid, are you surprised you may be asked to RTO?

Why do you get worked up that other people are discussing it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

She said it wasn't worth it to her.
I see this "lots of people make it work" argument all the time but why would somebody merely make it work when they have options? People want to be around their families during waking hours, and if they can do so they will.

That said, I don't actually know any families with 2 parents working full time in DC and the long daycare hours etc. Either they're both hybrid, or one parent commutes and the other is part time or a teacher or WFH or shift work (nursing) so that they can be available. I think the families with school aged kids and two significant commutes 5 days/week are not the norm.

It’s about your circle, then. I only know families with 2 full-time working parents and a ton of childcare issues.

You mentioned “teacher” above as a job with flexible hours that can make this work. There’s no flexibility in teaching. None. If my child gets sick, I have to find my own sub and none are available; so I have to go to work. I also have to pay for after-school care so I can stay at work and complete my obligations, like running clubs or tutoring students. I leave the house at 7am and get back at 5:30, after picking up my kids from those aftercare programs. And then I work at night.

This is a common set-up: two parents out of the house 10 hours a day, scrambling to provide care for their own children. We make it work because we have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is a common set-up: two parents out of the house 10 hours a day, scrambling to provide care for their own children. We make it work because we have to.

And what benefit is there to society in making more people have to deal with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My private sector DH is the higher earner and the only reason we are tethered to this area is because of my fed job. It would not be worth it to our family to stay in this area with one parent having to be in an office 5 days per week (the added cost of after care, commuting, etc.) and stress on our family would just suck.

I’d first search for another job in this area, I have feelers out and am pretty sure I could land somewhere. But if nothing works out, we could just move to a lower COL area near family and live off my DH’s income. We have 13 years of home equity we could use to buy a nice home with cash (or small mortgage) elsewhere.

I hate thinking like this though because I know the MAGA sociopaths would love the idea of a woman leaving the workforce and a family moving out of the DC area.

Okay? Lots of families have two full time working parents, with long daycare hours or split shifts.

If you don’t have to live near your DH job, then you are free to live near YOUR job, so your commute is not that long, so why is this so impactful you will move over it?

.

+1

And plenty of us pay for child care before AND after school.

GMAFB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is a common set-up: two parents out of the house 10 hours a day, scrambling to provide care for their own children. We make it work because we have to.

And what benefit is there to society in making more people have to deal with this?

Did you care about the rest of society before this impacted you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is a common set-up: two parents out of the house 10 hours a day, scrambling to provide care for their own children. We make it work because we have to.

And what benefit is there to society in making more people have to deal with this?

So your question (why should I have to suffer like you, essentially) comes across as a bit… privileged to those of us who do essential in-person jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is a common set-up: two parents out of the house 10 hours a day, scrambling to provide care for their own children. We make it work because we have to.

And what benefit is there to society in making more people have to deal with this?

So your question (why should I have to suffer like you, essentially) comes across as a bit… privileged to those of us who do essential in-person jobs.

Nice try. Answer the question. What benefit is there to society in making other people’s lives worse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is a common set-up: two parents out of the house 10 hours a day, scrambling to provide care for their own children. We make it work because we have to.

And what benefit is there to society in making more people have to deal with this?

Did you care about the rest of society before this impacted you?

Answer the question first. What is the benefit of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is a common set-up: two parents out of the house 10 hours a day, scrambling to provide care for their own children. We make it work because we have to.

And what benefit is there to society in making more people have to deal with this?

Did you care about the rest of society before this impacted you?

Answer the question first. What is the benefit of this?

NP. There is no benefit. RTO is a step backwards for society. They just like to crap on women who will be disproportionately affected by childcare conflicts and forced to resign.

[Anonymous]

No not really. I worked in the office before and knew this was coming eventually. I'll just go to the office. I really love my job and my income.