How to minimize the effects of divorce on a child ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband and I have a 5 year old son together . We split when our son was 2 months old . Was a pretty smooth split for the most part lately Ex and new spouse have been trying to turn ds against me . Ex fights me on everything which think comes with the territory . Unfortunately it's starting to affect ds he's starting to keep secrets which maybe that's normal for his age only kid I have . We've been fighting some lately try to never say anything bad about my ex in front of him . He was pottytrained day and night by 2 years of age thought we had it made unfortunately the last couple of months he's started to wet the bed .I'm assuming cause of the split anybody got any ideas how to minimize the effects of divorce?

Look, ex is prepping for full custody. You better get a lawyer to prepare.

This x 100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband and I have a 5 year old son together . We split when our son was 2 months old . Was a pretty smooth split for the most part lately Ex and new spouse have been trying to turn ds against me . Ex fights me on everything which think comes with the territory . Unfortunately it's starting to affect ds he's starting to keep secrets which maybe that's normal for his age only kid I have . We've been fighting some lately try to never say anything bad about my ex in front of him . He was pottytrained day and night by 2 years of age thought we had it made unfortunately the last couple of months he's started to wet the bed .I'm assuming cause of the split anybody got any ideas how to minimize the effects of divorce?

Look, ex is prepping for full custody. You better get a lawyer to prepare.

Yes and they will spin a 2 parent home as better. Your child may be picking up on their agenda and stressed because of it. Get a lawyer, OP.

[Anonymous]

What kind of secrets, OP?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have acquaintances in common still, be very careful about info you share, OP, even with family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband and I have a 5 year old son together . We split when our son was 2 months old . Was a pretty smooth split for the most part lately Ex and new spouse have been trying to turn ds against me . Ex fights me on everything which think comes with the territory . Unfortunately it's starting to affect ds he's starting to keep secrets which maybe that's normal for his age only kid I have . We've been fighting some lately try to never say anything bad about my ex in front of him . He was pottytrained day and night by 2 years of age thought we had it made unfortunately the last couple of months he's started to wet the bed .I'm assuming cause of the split anybody got any ideas how to minimize the effects of divorce?

Look, ex is prepping for full custody. You better get a lawyer to prepare.

unfortunately I kinda wonder I really don't want to try and take more custody cause he does need both his mom and dad . I have consulted with a lawyer who reviewed everything he basically said it would be hard for either party to get more custody but I do know they would love to have child support. If the bedwetting is gona continue does everyone think it would be OK to go back to pull-ups at night to save on the laundry?

You need a better lawyer, OP. Ex and new wife will lie and twist things. You want 50-50 but they may not. They are seeking more control, not bc you are a bad mom, but they will spin it that way to get more time and child support from you.

Why is he in preschool at 5?

What kind of medical decisions?

You have way bigger problems coming than laundry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Just turned 5 in pre k this year .

[Anonymous]

Bad-mouthing you to your child about causing financial problems is very distressing to any child and will cause worry and insecurity. You need to find out what your ex is saying to your son. Perhaps he is saying that they will have to sell their home and move away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad-mouthing you to your child about causing financial problems is very distressing to any child and will cause worry and insecurity. You need to find out what your ex is saying to your son. Perhaps he is saying that they will have to sell their home and move away.

It’s more likely that they talk about him living with them all the time.

OP, some judges favor 2 parent homes, you need a better lawyer.

PP, OP cannot feed into a parental alienation case they may be trying to create. She has zero control over speech of ex.

What do you mean about the school and medical decisions? It really sounds like new wife sees cs from you as their financial plan plus some want to cut out the ex.

For all those saying it can’t happen, you are incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think joint custody is good for little kids except for rare circumstances where the parents are genuinely amicable and live very close to each other.

+1

[Anonymous]

Standing by my firmly held belief that divorced “arrangements” are about as trashy as you can raise a kid, even in the best of scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Show that both parents are still parents and the relationship between the dad or the mom should only be the different thing.

[Anonymous]

Once the stepmom has her own baby she might lose interest in OP’s child and the ex will follow her tune, so the tables may turn again. Remain vigilant of the current situation though, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once the stepmom has her own baby she might lose interest in OP’s child and the ex will follow her tune, so the tables may turn again. Remain vigilant of the current situation though, OP.

IME, if step-mother has her own child she will become even more focused on $ leaving the household. She is not focused on the existing child as a person, rather as “the cause of their $ problems” and as a reminder of OP’s existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once the stepmom has her own baby she might lose interest in OP’s child and the ex will follow her tune, so the tables may turn again. Remain vigilant of the current situation though, OP.

IME, if step-mother has her own child she will become even more focused on $ leaving the household. She is not focused on the existing child as a person, rather as “the cause of their $ problems” and as a reminder of OP’s existence.

My friend felt like a third wheel in her house with half siblings. She said there were two half siblings and then her. She never goes home for the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once the stepmom has her own baby she might lose interest in OP’s child and the ex will follow her tune, so the tables may turn again. Remain vigilant of the current situation though, OP.

Or she may want this child to be her “baby”. Eliminate his child support payments so more money for her.
Disgusting, but very common.