Split shifts with a newborn - need advice?

[Anonymous]

Shifts were crucial for us. I would feed baby and go to bed at about 7. I was usually able to pump an extra bottle during the day and so husband would feed her at some point and then go to bed himself around 11. By then baby was usually up for next feeding and would get up the rest of the night with the kiddo. It worked really well and I needed those 4 uninterrupted hours

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just want to remind you that you are really in the trenches - days 3-5 were always the hardest for me! Have you talked to a lactation consultant? Generally they can do a telemedicine consult to talk through something like this - I did it with both of mine. My personal experience was that I couldn't sleep longer than 3 or maybe 3.5 hours for the first couple of weeks as baby was figuring out life on the outside and my supply was regulating, but after that, we were able to figure out a shift system that didn't affect my supply. In our case, I did still get less sleep than DH, but I could get a good 4 hour stretch for myself most nights by the time he was 4 weeks old.
Also, just in case no one else is telling you this (because I wish someone had to me with my first) - breastfeeding is amazing, but so is formula. I've done both. You're an amazing mom either way. Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your baby, and formula can sometimes be part of that.

I’m the OP. I’m even open to 3-3.5 hour stretches of sleep. I don’t get that with the frequent and long feedings. A feeding takes up to 1 hour each time between diaper changing, feeding, and burping. We are so thankful for the Snoo because we just put him in it and that puts him to sleep. He’s still up eating every 1.5-3 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went to bed at some ludicrous hour like 7pm so all the incremental sleep added up to 8 hours.

Yes, this. You don’t need the sleep to be contiguous. Also, I know it’s controversial, but we coslept. That way I never needed to fully wake up. Just roll over, nurse, and go back to sleep when baby finishes eating.

I’m the OP. We are not comfortable with it. We use the Snoo and it’s right next to our bed. My husband has been getting him up, changing, and burping after I feed. I haven’t had to get up or leave the bed unless I need to go to the bathroom. We have a mini fridge for milk and snacks to make it easier on me.

[Anonymous]

We did shifts. I would do the 8 or 9pm feeding and go straight to bed. DH would do the next one with formula. That would get me enough sleep to get by and which became more and more as DS grew and slept longer increments. Formula is also more filling so he would sleep longer with that feeding than a breast milk feeding. I never had a huge supply but I breast fed for 9 months and did build up some freezer supply to extend it as he started eating food. One formula feeding a night was great for us!

[Anonymous]

We did formula so feeding was a non issue. Dad went to bed at around 8 pm or so and got up at the am feeding at 2-4 am and went to work early. I’d stay up as long as I could to get a feeding in to let him sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went to bed at some ludicrous hour like 7pm so all the incremental sleep added up to 8 hours.

Yes, this. You don’t need the sleep to be contiguous. Also, I know it’s controversial, but we coslept. That way I never needed to fully wake up. Just roll over, nurse, and go back to sleep when baby finishes eating.

I’m the OP. We are not comfortable with it. We use the Snoo and it’s right next to our bed. My husband has been getting him up, changing, and burping after I feed. I haven’t had to get up or leave the bed unless I need to go to the bathroom. We have a mini fridge for milk and snacks to make it easier on me.

Pump and let him do a feeding. Don’t both get up. Just one. Nap during the day if needed.

[Anonymous]

We had twins so somewhat different dynamics. But shifts were key for us. I also had supply issues (unrelated to our schedule/shifts) and we used formula from early on - it was great for allowing anyone to feed. Do what works for you and, IMO prioritize sleep/sanity over all else.

[Anonymous]

Don't die on the breastfeeding hill. I'm thankful that for #2 I was forced to add formula in our routine. Worked wonderfully. Kept that up for #3 too. What I do is breastfedd during the day 100% and formula feed at least a few times at night. Sanity saving tip.

[Anonymous]

Our schedule in those first couple of months was:
- I'd feed at 6pm and put baby to bed
- I'd pump at 7-8pm and then go to bed myself
- When baby woke up at 9-10 pm, DH would change him and then bring him to me in bed. I'd feed still half-asleep.
- Baby woke up again around 12-1 am, DH on duty (diaper, bottle). I completely slept through that one.
- When baby next woke at 3-4 am, my boobs were bursting and I couldn't sleep anyway. My turn on duty, DH slept through it.
- I took the 6am feeding, but handed off to DH within the next couple of hours.

So I'd sleep from 8:30 to 3 (ish) - 6+ hours - and another hour or two in the morning. DH would sleep 1am to 7 or 8, plus another couple of hours before and/or after. Not great for either of us, but survivable for both of us.

[Anonymous]

Your baby will naturally start sleeping longer stretches over the next few weeks/months (depending on their size). One day you will wake up and realize you just slept a full 5 hours in a row and then worry immediately that something is wrong.

Only you can decide if breastfeeding or sleeping is more important for you and your baby.

[Anonymous]

I have a 3 week old and we are sleeping in shifts (10-3 and 3-8). Baby gets formula while I sleep. At this point, that is just one bottle of formula and all other feeds are nursing. So far, no impact on my supply. We joke that combo feeding and sleeping in shifts is newborn life on easy mode.

I personally really value keeping formula bottles a regular part of my child’s diet. I don’t want to pump when I return to work and it is extremely important to me (emotionally and logistically) that I am not the sole source of calories for my babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did shifts. I would do the 8 or 9pm feeding and go straight to bed. DH would do the next one with formula. That would get me enough sleep to get by and which became more and more as DS grew and slept longer increments. Formula is also more filling so he would sleep longer with that feeding than a breast milk feeding. I never had a huge supply but I breast fed for 9 months and did build up some freezer supply to extend it as he started eating food. One formula feeding a night was great for us!

This is what we did as well.

I was bliss to get 5 full hours of sleep.

My supply never went down.

[Anonymous]

Feeding will get faster. Baby is so so little. 2 weeks in and it'll get better. A 4 hr stretch would have been so painful for me back then as I was very engorged.

[Anonymous]

This thread is hilarious. When was the last time any of you had kids, 1980??? OP is four *days* postpartum. DAYS! Feeding is going to take an hour and she’s going to need to expect zero sleep! The baby is four days old! Quit projecting how terrible breastfeeding went for you or how much sleep you did or didn’t need because it doesn’t matter at all. OP is four days pp!

OP, nothing is wrong, this is precisely how it’s supposed to be four days pp, and it incrementally gets better. Talk to your pediatrician and read a sleep training book to prepare for week 2+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went to bed at some ludicrous hour like 7pm so all the incremental sleep added up to 8 hours.

Yes, this. You don’t need the sleep to be contiguous. Also, I know it’s controversial, but we coslept. That way I never needed to fully wake up. Just roll over, nurse, and go back to sleep when baby finishes eating.

+1,000

I didn’t cosleep with my first but did with my second and third. With my third, I started in the hospital. I’ve never been so well rested in my life. (I’m a light sleeper and don’t move much while I sleep. DH slept in the guest room.) If you aren’t comfortable with cosleeping I would still learn how to nurse while lying on your side as you might find it more restful. It sounds like breastfeeding is important to you. Personally, I would wait at least 4-6 weeks before skipping any of the feeds.