S/O: How are you preparing your SONS to be respectful and safe, and to protect themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have both a son and daughter. Read Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves. Boys are in trouble. Lots of loneliness and virtual activities that result in failure to launch, no social life, and in the extreme, falling in with internet crazies.

And as a result of this bs war on men/boys that people such as OP has forced on young women to carry on, these young men are choosing not to date in their twenties and thirties with the though of never having a family. They have grown tired of the battle which is waged at them by every woman in their twenties and thirties, just not worth it anymore. The end result, I predict, these men will date younger women who are not falling in line with this rhetoric and the thirty to forty year old women, will be the lonely ones. I hate watching this happen, but I do not believe a lifetime of hate taught to a young woman about men can be undone. There will be many more lonely women than there will be men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was honestly hoping this thread would be about teaching boys to protect themselves, as statistically, your sons are far more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than you daughters.

But alas, it’s just more typical DCUM misandry.

Where are you getting your statistics? The problem is men. Men attack women and other men. How is that misandry?

Do you dispute that men are more likely than women to be *victims* of violent crime? Not victims of women, victims of violent crime?

And who is perpetrating those crimes, dingbat? MEN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of boys:

How are you raising your SONS to be respectful, decent, honorable, kind, and protective of others and of themselves? How are you teaching YOUR SONS to be aware, to get consent, to not drug women, to not rape women, to not harass women…or anyone? How are you preparing YOUR SONS to be a safe person, and to stay safe?

I am so tired of “how are we preparing girls.” I want to hear more from parents of boys how you are being part of the solution, how you are being proactive, how you are making positive change in this world where boys and men are usually the aggressors, the unsafe people, the predators, the perpetrators. I want to know what you are teaching your SONS.

I prepared my DS to stay away from toxic women such as yourself and all of your immasculinating garbage that you spew on a daily basis. All men are not like this, just as all women, thankfully, are not like you. My DS and his friends look at you and ANY woman who thinks about them the way you do as psychotic. That is what his father and I would have taught him, fortunately he has his own brain and figured that out himself. You NEED serious mental healthcare.

I’m sorry you’ve been abused and warped since childhood. There is no other explanation for this level of internalized misogyny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was honestly hoping this thread would be about teaching boys to protect themselves, as statistically, your sons are far more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than you daughters.

But alas, it’s just more typical DCUM misandry.

Where are you getting your statistics? The problem is men. Men attack women and other men. How is that misandry?

Do you dispute that men are more likely than women to be *victims* of violent crime? Not victims of women, victims of violent crime?

By other men. But why is your conclusion it is all women's fault?

This is not my conclusion. My actual conclusion is that many of you hate men, including your own sons, and would never even consider looking at the world through their eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was honestly hoping this thread would be about teaching boys to protect themselves, as statistically, your sons are far more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than you daughters.

But alas, it’s just more typical DCUM misandry.

Where are you getting your statistics? The problem is men. Men attack women and other men. How is that misandry?

Do you dispute that men are more likely than women to be *victims* of violent crime? Not victims of women, victims of violent crime?

By other men. But why is your conclusion it is all women's fault?

This is not my conclusion. My actual conclusion is that many of you hate men, including your own sons, and would never even consider looking at the world through their eyes.

Whaaaattttt? You're insane.

[Anonymous]

4 yr old recently heard a grown woman suggest something and then nodded and said "Yeah, that was my idea" and he got told by his father to never claim credit for a woman's idea. He has "no" and "stop" reinforced when he's play-wrestling with girls and gets reminded to listen immediately to those words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of boys:

How are you raising your SONS to be respectful, decent, honorable, kind, and protective of others and of themselves? How are you teaching YOUR SONS to be aware, to get consent, to not drug women, to not rape women, to not harass women…or anyone? How are you preparing YOUR SONS to be a safe person, and to stay safe?

I am so tired of “how are we preparing girls.” I want to hear more from parents of boys how you are being part of the solution, how you are being proactive, how you are making positive change in this world where boys and men are usually the aggressors, the unsafe people, the predators, the perpetrators. I want to know what you are teaching your SONS.

I prepared my DS to stay away from toxic women such as yourself and all of your immasculinating garbage that you spew on a daily basis. All men are not like this, just as all women, thankfully, are not like you. My DS and his friends look at you and ANY woman who thinks about them the way you do as psychotic. That is what his father and I would have taught him, fortunately he has his own brain and figured that out himself. You NEED serious mental healthcare.

Well said. Just what I was thinking.

[Anonymous]

We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was honestly hoping this thread would be about teaching boys to protect themselves, as statistically, your sons are far more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than you daughters.

But alas, it’s just more typical DCUM misandry.

Where are you getting your statistics? The problem is men. Men attack women and other men. How is that misandry?

Do you dispute that men are more likely than women to be *victims* of violent crime? Not victims of women, victims of violent crime?

By other men. But why is your conclusion it is all women's fault?

This is not my conclusion. My actual conclusion is that many of you hate men, including your own sons, and would never even consider looking at the world through their eyes.

Whaaaattttt? You're insane.

DP, but she's not wrong. I ran across a message board where three different women confessed to having abortions because they didn't want a boy. Even more claim they WOULD abort in that case. There really is a hatred of males out there, even young boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These boy-moms need to lead by eliminating any hint of toxic masculinity developing in their sons.

What about the boy dads? Any responsibility there?

No. This thread is just more tiresome misogyny masquerading as concern for girls.

+million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents of boys:

How are you raising your SONS to be respectful, decent, honorable, kind, and protective of others and of themselves? How are you teaching YOUR SONS to be aware, to get consent, to not drug women, to not rape women, to not harass women…or anyone? How are you preparing YOUR SONS to be a safe person, and to stay safe?

I am so tired of “how are we preparing girls.” I want to hear more from parents of boys how you are being part of the solution, how you are being proactive, how you are making positive change in this world where boys and men are usually the aggressors, the unsafe people, the predators, the perpetrators. I want to know what you are teaching your SONS.

I do this by talking about consent, recognizing verbal/ non verbal cues, not having sex with people he doesn’t know well, etc. but I want say (and I’m saying this as politically liberal person) OP, that your tone is combative…and maybe you don’t realize that things can go two directions. My DS is a senior in HS and has already had to block two girls with stalker(ish), gaslighting behaviors who didn’t understand the word “no”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents of boys:

How are you raising your SONS to be respectful, decent, honorable, kind, and protective of others and of themselves? How are you teaching YOUR SONS to be aware, to get consent, to not drug women, to not rape women, to not harass women…or anyone? How are you preparing YOUR SONS to be a safe person, and to stay safe?

I am so tired of “how are we preparing girls.” I want to hear more from parents of boys how you are being part of the solution, how you are being proactive, how you are making positive change in this world where boys and men are usually the aggressors, the unsafe people, the predators, the perpetrators. I want to know what you are teaching your SONS.

I had both my boys take Jui Juitsu and they both stopped fights a few times in school or at sporting events or camp.

We had long and very detailed discussions about sex, consent, protecting people's intimate privacy, not taking advantage of girls in crisis, getting friends out of bad situations, never leave a friend behind, walk people home in groups, no single walkers even boys, take an Uber not questions ask, if you need to send a person home on our Uber account that is fine, don't hook up with randoms, don't make jokes at others expense. If you make a joke and it lands badly never, ever, ever say "i was just joking" you may say "im sorry that sounded funny in my head".

Also, at home if they hurt each others feeling or anybody accidentally, they did push ups. It was their choice between that and a few other things like cooking and cleaning.

When playing with someone rough you have a safe word, ours was "im not having fun anymore' and everybody has to freeze frame.

When in an argument with somebody if it gets emotional take a 20 minute break and come back with cooler heads.

If someone comes home from work/school/sports emotional ... don't take it personally let them vent.
Never take your bad feeling off on others, if you do come back when you have calmed down and explain you were frustrated and your word were inappropriate.

A hot head can't think properly if you are the cool head remain calm and deescalate.

Run from a gun
Don't fist fight, walk away.

I can go on but I just got called for my appointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

The USA is horrible compared to almost every other country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tried everything I could -no video games, no violent movies or tv, no toy guns or swords or any violent type play at all. Encouraged empathy and peaceful problem solving and anger management (I’m a behavioral scientist).
Society influences won and he is violent and has assaulted women.
However, if I hadn’t raised him as I did, I know he’d be 100 x worse.
I’ve long admired how boys are raised in other cultures, I think our culture in the USA is dangerous.
We excuse and allow bad behavior and mistreatment of women.
This is not keeping boys safe, this is pushing them to be violent.

Erm, no.

Was he raised by an intact, heterosexual union? Doesn't sound like it.